Status: in progress.
Mistakes We Knew We Were Making
Intro.
First day of highschool.
I was nervous, but I was excited at the same time. I wanted to see all my friends, which was a very small number indeed. It was hard to make friends in this town, and anyone that lived here knew that well.
The town was called New Egypt. No, I did not come all the way to New Jersey from Egypt, nor were there any pyramids around. This pothole, also the geographical center of the state, was an awful little town. Oakford Lake that ran through the town was toxic, producing ducks with four legs and fish with six eyes. Parents actually moved here to keep their kids away from drugs, but they clearly didn't do their research. Your kid was more likely to end up on drugs and pot in New Egypt than if you lived in the hood, and that was more than an understatement. You could probably find a pot plant growing behind a bush in the rec field.
Just about every guy in the school was a dick, and every girl was a bitch, whore, or both. Me? I tried to be the different one. I could be a bitch, yes, but it was only if I had a good reason. I wasn't a whore in the slightest, and you didn't even have to know me to figure that out. Gossip made this town thrive, and if someone got a boyfriend or girlfriend or random hook-up, you'd know one way or another.
But entering freshman year in highschool, I wanted a new start. I wanted a different path, but I wanted one that wasn't exactly pride worthy. I'd spent about two grand on new, girly clothes that I would never wear before. My skin tight jeans were strapped to my skin, my toes painted with pink nail polish, and my V-neck top hanging as low as I could pull it. I had a fair amount of breast, but not a lot. In a bathing suit, I looked flat as a board. To make things worse, a scar trailed down between my breasts to the end of my ribcage, raised and even whiter than my already dead-pale skin. My doctors told me it would go away once I got boobs.
Another lie added onto the list.
Still, I hoped to make an impression, and maybe turn a few heads my way this year. I was tired of being overlooked, of not being worthy enough for anyone. I was just starting to come out of a pit of depression that had been pulling me down for almost four years now, and happiness was beginning to beam from me again. If I had to whore myself out a bit, so be it.
Not my best decision. Definitely, not my best decision.
I was nervous, but I was excited at the same time. I wanted to see all my friends, which was a very small number indeed. It was hard to make friends in this town, and anyone that lived here knew that well.
The town was called New Egypt. No, I did not come all the way to New Jersey from Egypt, nor were there any pyramids around. This pothole, also the geographical center of the state, was an awful little town. Oakford Lake that ran through the town was toxic, producing ducks with four legs and fish with six eyes. Parents actually moved here to keep their kids away from drugs, but they clearly didn't do their research. Your kid was more likely to end up on drugs and pot in New Egypt than if you lived in the hood, and that was more than an understatement. You could probably find a pot plant growing behind a bush in the rec field.
Just about every guy in the school was a dick, and every girl was a bitch, whore, or both. Me? I tried to be the different one. I could be a bitch, yes, but it was only if I had a good reason. I wasn't a whore in the slightest, and you didn't even have to know me to figure that out. Gossip made this town thrive, and if someone got a boyfriend or girlfriend or random hook-up, you'd know one way or another.
But entering freshman year in highschool, I wanted a new start. I wanted a different path, but I wanted one that wasn't exactly pride worthy. I'd spent about two grand on new, girly clothes that I would never wear before. My skin tight jeans were strapped to my skin, my toes painted with pink nail polish, and my V-neck top hanging as low as I could pull it. I had a fair amount of breast, but not a lot. In a bathing suit, I looked flat as a board. To make things worse, a scar trailed down between my breasts to the end of my ribcage, raised and even whiter than my already dead-pale skin. My doctors told me it would go away once I got boobs.
Another lie added onto the list.
Still, I hoped to make an impression, and maybe turn a few heads my way this year. I was tired of being overlooked, of not being worthy enough for anyone. I was just starting to come out of a pit of depression that had been pulling me down for almost four years now, and happiness was beginning to beam from me again. If I had to whore myself out a bit, so be it.
Not my best decision. Definitely, not my best decision.
♠ ♠ ♠
Just a bit of an intro. Gives some insight on what the hell was going through my mind almost a year ago now, maybe longer.I'd appreciate you not bash me for my real thoughts. Looking back on this time now, it's not even me. However, I'll still take it badly.
So read it, subscribe, whatever. Just let me know what you think if you do read, please.