Your Love Will Be Safe With Me

I got no sleep. I was a wreck. My face was swollen. My husband was angry at me. I was afraid to shut my eyes. I was afraid to go outside. I was afraid to open the blinds. I was afraid to turn the light off. I was a wreck. This was not like me.

In came the morning and I hadn’t slept at all. I retired the frozen bags to give my face a break. I watched old TV Land shows all night because I knew they didn’t have any really serious topics and were made to make people laugh. I laid there watching Three’s Company with a glum expression on my face. My expression turned from glum to panicked as I heard something in the other room. Quietly, I got out of bed and walked over to my closet where I had a metal baseball bat waiting for me to use on an intruder. I raised it over my head, ready to hit someone. I heard foot steps coming towards my room as I waited. When they got close enough, I swung my door open all the way, shutting my eyes, and swinging with all of my body force at the person. I didn’t come in contact with anything so I swung again.

“Sawyer!” They yelled.

I opened my eyes and saw Nick. His face showed concern then switched to shock as he saw my face. My lip quivered as I dropped the bat to the ground. It clanked loudly against the hardwood, but I didn’t care. Instead, I rushed forward and practically threw myself at him. He wrapped his arms around me protectively, one going around my back and the other cradling the back of my head as I sobbed into his chest.

“What happened?” He asked in shock as he pushed me away slightly. His hands were on my shoulders, keeping me from burying my face into his shirt again. He surveyed the damage to my face. “Who did this to you?” He asked, but I couldn’t answer because I was such a blubbering mess. He pulled me back into his chest then scooted backwards into the bathroom.

He sat me down on the toilet lid then grabbed a dry washcloth that was hanging on the towel rack above me. He rinsed it with warm water then proceeded to clean my face. I seethed in pain and he softly apologized. Once my tears subsided he began to ask me questions. Before he got started, though, he sat down on the edge of the bathtub and gently took a hold of my hand, ignoring the fact that I flinched at his touch.

“Sawyer, what happened?” He asked softly.

I looked at him sadly and sniffed, “The other night when I was closing the shop, I walked out the back door and this guy punched me in the face.” I began on a shaky breath. I’d relived it so many times in my head that it didn’t bother me as much as I thought it would to talk about it. “I was caught so off guard that I-I-I fell.” I continued. “He got on top of me and continued to hit me in the face before I finally blacked out.” Nick face was upset. His lip was set in a hard line and he looked like he wanted to kill someone. “I woke up a hour and a half later and all that was missing was my credit cards and the 200 dollars in my wallet.” I finished.

He looked at me, face softening. “He didn’t… rape you, did he?” I bit my lip and shook my head and he let out a breath then pulled me into his chest again. I felt the tears back at the brims of my eyes. “Sawyer, I’m sorry.” He whispered in my ear. “This was the reason you didn’t want to go to Braintree?” He asked when I pulled away from him.

Wearily, I nodded and he sighed. “I was scared. I am scared. I haven’t left the apartment since it happened. I haven’t turned the light off. I haven’t opened the blinds. I haven’t slept since I woke up yesterday morning; I’m afraid to.” I cried.

He looked at my sympathetically. “Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked sadly.

I looked down, avoiding his eyes, “I didn’t want you to be worried.” I said quietly.

“And telling me you couldn’t go just because wouldn’t?” He chuckled and I shrugged, still not looking at him. “Tell me the real reason, Sawyer.” He encouraged softly and I shook my head. He gently grabbed my chin in between his thumb and pointer finger and forced me to look at him. “Tell me.”

A few tears rolled down my face before I finally gave in. “I was ashamed.” I said barely above a whisper. In my room I could hear a burst of laughter as something funny happened on the screen.

“Ashamed of what?” Nick asked incredulously.

“That I couldn’t put up for myself! That some guy beat me to the ground and made me afraid to go to sleep! The only reason why I fell asleep the first night was probably because I had a concussion.” I said angrily. His face was sympathetic as let go of my chin and got up. “Where are you going?” I asked helplessly. Was he going to leave me?

He extended his hand out for me to take. “Come on. I want you to go in your room and sleep.” I looked up at him with wide, fearful eyes mentally pleading with him not to make me. “Don’t worry, I’ll be right next to you.”

I looked down at his hand and he wiggled his fingers as if that would make it any more appealing. Slowly, I placed my hand in his and he helped me up then led me into my room. When we got inside he turned my light off. I turned and looked at him in fear. “It’s okay. I’ll be right here. Plus you have the TV and the hall light.” I gulped and nodded before getting into my bed.

Nick climbed in right after me, but not before he took his Toms off. I laid down as did he and he opened his arms so he could hold me. I scooted closer to him so I could press myself up against his chest. His arms wrapped around me and he proceeded to rub my back. I wouldn’t shut my eyes, though.

After ten minutes, he looked down at me. “Don’t fight it, Sawyer, just give in.”

My eyelids felt heavier and heavier before they shut completely and I fell into a heavy slumber.
---
I woke up with a start, jumping out of a nightmare I was having. My heart was pounding as I looked around the room. Nick wasn’t there. I feared that everything was just a dream and there wasn’t anyone with me.

“Nick?” I called out helplessly.

In the other room I heard the toilet flush then the door open. From my spot on the bed, I could see Nick in the doorway of the bathroom and I calmed down just a bit.

“Hey,” He said softly as he padded over and get back into bed. “How did you sleep?” He asked and I shrugged.

“I had a bad dream and I freaked out.” I said quietly.

He looked at me sympathetically for what felt like the thousandths time then leaned over and kissed me softly. I grimaced as he pulled away. “What? Did I hurt you?” He asked, worried then began to apologize.

“How can you look at me let alone kiss me?” I asked in disgust. He stared at me in shock and I began to feel self conscious.

“What do you mean? You’re my wife. I love you. I’m going to look at you all I want, especially since I haven’t seen you in over a month! I missed you!” He softly took a hold of my hand and I looked at him.

“But I look so, so.” I searched for the right word to use.

“Pretty? Beautiful? Gorgeous?” He finished with a small smile.

“Hideous!” I finally said.

His smile fell and his hands cradled my head gently as to not hurt my bruised face. “Sawyer, you are not hideous.” He said sternly as he looked directly into my eyes. “You are beautiful. You might be a little bruised right now-” I scoffed” “But! They will go away. You won’t always look like this. It’s not the end of the world.” He smiled. “Give it a week and you’ll look better than ever.”

I sighed, not wanting to believe he as right, but he was. “You’re right. When I was beginning to like how I looked some stupid fuck had to come and ruin it.” I muttered and he laughed. His hands turned my head to look in his direction. I looked at him curiously then he leaned in and kissed me again. He was being so gentle and trying not to hurt me which I loved about him. His touch was as light as a feather as he gently pushed me back down onto the bed.

After a sensual make out session, he pulled away and stared adoringly into my eyes, “I love you.” He said and I smiled as the butterflies took flight in my stomach just like every other time he said those three words to me.

“I love you, too.” I said sincerely.

He leaned down and kissed me again then pulled away. “God, I am so glad we’re already married.”

I laughed, “Why?”

“Because I would have proposed right now, but it’s already taken care of.” He smiled then looked down. “Where’s your ring?” He asked. Smiling, I brought up my left hand and showed him the ring on my finger. He smiled brightly then kissed me again.

I was feeling better about having someone there with me in the apartment. It was around nine o’clock and I’d been off and on sleeping since nine thirty in the morning. I knew Nick was getting restless and bored and to tell you the truth, I was starving. I hadn’t eaten in over two days now.

“Nick,” I said quietly. The room was dark and he was sitting against the headboard, watching some action movie I recognized as Transporter 2. He quickly looked down at me. “Are you hungry?” I asked.

He laughed and nodded, “Starving.” He said. “Your kitchen needs to be restocked.”

I chuckled,” Yeah, Hanley and I have been eating out every night.” I sat up and stretched my limbs.

“When was the last time you ate?” He asked.

“Dinner on Friday. I had Chinese.” I winced.

He scolded me, “Sawyer, that’s not good!”

I rolled my eyes, “I know that, Nicholas.” I pushed the covers from my body and got out of bed. His eyes followed me as I walked around the bed and over to my closet.

“What are you doing?” He asked curiously as I opened the closet door and took out a pair of sparkly leggings.

“I’m hungry and was hoping you’d come with me to get something to eat.” I said then began pulling my pajama pants off of my legs, comfortable enough with him to undress in front of him.

He jumped up and pulled on his Toms that were laying by the bed. “Hell yeah!” I chuckled then put on his gray American Apparel hoodie, not bothering to change out of my wife beater. “What do you feel like having?” He asked as he waited for me to finish getting ready.

I shrugged, “Something fast.” He nodded as I slipped on a pair of sandals and my oversized sunglasses. “Okay, I’m ready.”
---
He drove us to Del Taco fully intending to go through the drive-thru, but the line was way too long.

“Do you just want to go somewhere else?” He asked as we idled in the parking lot.

I really didn’t want to go in, but I was really craving their hash browns. “Let’s just eat here. I feel like I need to get out.” I sighed, “Even if I’ve been scared shitless. He looked at me with a sympathetic smile then pulled into a vacant spot.

My sunglasses were doing a good job of hiding my bruises, but I was getting strange looks from everyone. I shrugged them off and ordered my food. I didn’t realizes exactly how hungry I was and ended up ordering two classic taco, a quesadilla, and an order of hash browns. I knew I wouldn’t be able to eat all of it in one sitting thanks to my little stomach, but I knew I would throughout the night.

We sat in a booth with out food and started eating. “People probably think I’m high as a kite right now.” I said then took a small sip of my lemonade.

Nick snorted, mouth full of food and began coughing. I looked at him with my eyebrow raised in amusement knowing he’d be fine. He gulped down half of his drink, coughed a couple more times then cleared his throat. “Oh wow.” He said then cleared his throat again.

“You okay?” I asked in amusement.

“Oh yeah. I’m fine.”

I laughed, “I missed you way too much.” I smiled adoringly at him.

“Nah, I’m pretty sure I missed you more.” He smiled then took a bite of his burrito.

“So what did your mom say when you told her you wouldn’t be home?“ I asked, picking at my quesadilla.

“She was upset, but she understood. I guess.” He shrugged.

“You guess?” I questioned.

“Okay, I was just so freaked out about your phone call that I just flew here and had the guys drive the van to my house. I haven’t talked to her.”

My eyes widened, “Nick!” I scolded.

“I know! I’m a terrible son, but your call just really freaked me out. You were crying and wouldn’t tell me what was wrong! I thought you were being held captive or some shit.”

This time I snorted, but kept myself from choking. “I demand you call her in the morning, okay?” He nodded and we enjoyed the rest of our dinner.