Adolescence
March To A Different Drum
After the movie, Ed was walking me home, his hand on the small of my back. "What are your parents like? Can I meet them?" he asked.
I hesitated. "No."
"Why not?"
"Ed can you promise me something? Promise me you won't think I'm a freak or something."
"I promise to never think you're a freak." I smiled awkwardly as he bent his head down so I wouldn't have to talk loud.
"My parents...they uh...beat me," I said quietly.
His eyes widened with rage. "What?!"
"Ed, Ed please don't tell anyone."
He breathed out heavily. "Fine." We reached the front of my house. "Can't I come in to meet them?" I wished he could, but I don't know what will happen.
"I'm not sure if that's a good idea."
He looked hurt. "I don't mean to put you in a sticky situation, but if I can't meet them, then I can see this relationship doesn't really matter to you."
"Alright, come on in," I said dragging him inside and he smiled. "Mom? Dad?" I called.
"What do you want?" I heard from the hallway and I felt Ed squeeze my hand.
"Mom, I'd like you to meet somebody."
I heard shuffling on the floor and my mom came into the front room and threw down a dirty shirt. "Who is this?" she asked rudely.
"Mom, this is my...boyfriend Ed."
Ed smiled and stuck out his hand. "It's nice to meet you Mrs. Thibedeaux."
She took his hand catiously. "Boyfriend, huh? You must be pretty desparate to date my daughter."
"No, ma'am. I happen to find her very appealing," Ed said, shocked my mom would say something like that.
I swear this is the nicest she's ever been. "Well I'm glad you've found her, maybe now she'll stay out of the house." After a few minutes of talking, Ed had to leave and leave me here alone with the ravenous killer that could snap any minute.
"You'll be fine, I promise. I won't let anything happen to you," he said as he stroked his thumb along the line of my jaw. And on that note, I sat down in the living room and watched TV with my mom. I could feel her watching me with fiery eyes when I wasn't looking.
"Mom, are you mad at me?"
"Yes," she said flatly.
I knew it. "Why Mom? He's really nice! Give him a chance!"
"No, Goddamnit. I'm mad at you for everything you've ever done. But meeting him was the best thing you have done." I couldn't believe the words coming out of her mouth.
"What?" I shivered.
"Keep him, Jess. Don't let him go." I nodded and went downstairs to my room. And for once, I couldn't wait to go to school.
****
I walked out into the cold when I stopped dead in my tracks. In front of my ghetto house, a brand new BMW was parked and Ed was leaning against it. "Want a ride?" he asked. I ran to him and he caught me in his arms.
"Yes!" I said and he excorted me to the passenger door. We were in the car. "You know, this wasn't really necessary. The school is ilke 5 seconds down the road." Ed smiled and ignored me. But I had the strangest feeling he wasn't smiling at what I said. "What did you do last night?" I asked trying to read the expression of his face.
"Sleep."
"No, I mean, to make my mom...presentable." We were in the parking lot by now and he looked at me.
"No one can resist my politeness, my looks and my ability to make someone lose their virginity by smiling." He smiled and I almost had a heart attack. "See." He walked around to my door while I tried to restart my heart. "Do you need me to carry you to class?" he asked, his eyebrows arched.
"No, I'm fine. I swear." He stepped aside to let me out of the car and when we got to the corner of the school, he stopped me.
"Wait, Jessica." I turned to him then and he tok out a cigarette and gave it to me.
"You smoke?" I asked.
"Oh, no. I just noticed you left to go smoke and I'm not going to fight you, I'm fine with it."
I smiled and then asked, "Does smoke bother you?"
"Most of the time."
"Then I'll save it for when I'm not around you," I teased. I knew I'd never be away from him. Or want to be. Ed smiled and grabbed me around my waist and we walked to our first class while everyone stared.
"What do you want to do after school today?" Ed asked as everyone came in.
"Um...I was thinking I could pay my friend a visit."
"Okay. Do you want to do something after that?"
I smiled and closed my eyes. "Of course." He took my hand and my sleeve fell down to reveal a few of the many bruises. His intense curiosity of him studying my arm on top of his care reminded me of when Billie searched my arm just a few days ago.
"Are you okay?" he asked, his eyebrows arched. "Do you feel hurt?"
"Not right now. Only when I touch it." Ed carefully slid my sleeve back down and kissed my hand, then carrssed his hand along the back of mine.
"Mr. Winters, hands to yourself," Mr. Brae announced. Ed smiled to me and kept holding onto my hand.
****
Ed drove me to Billie's house in his black BMW and we were sitting in the car. "Can you pick me up at 5:00?"
"Of course," he smiled.
"Alright see you later." I leaned over the console to hug him quickly and stepped out of the car. I heard Ed drive away as I walked up the overgrown pathway. Before I got to the door, it opened and Billie came out whistling.
"Oh, Jess what are you doing here?"
I shrugged. "Just wanted to drop by...Did I catch you at a bad time?"
"Not really. I was just heading out to meet Mike for drumming audtions."
"Oh, well can I come?"
"Sure," he smiled cheekily and escorted me to his car. We got in the car and I was running my finger along the polyester seat covering. "You look different. You seem different," he said.
I shrugged. "What's different about me?"
"You look clean. Not necessarily shower-type, but like...you haven't had a cigarette in a while."
"Oh, well you're right about that." He looked at me stunned.
"Well here you go." Billie pulled his cigarette from his ear and handed it to me. Does smoke bother you? Most of the time. Ran threw my head.
"You know what? No thanks." I handed the cigarette back to him and he looked even more stunned as he stopped at a stop light.
"Are you sick?" He reached over and felt my head.
"No, I'm fine," I laughed and pushed his arm away. He smiled and lit up the cigarette himself.
"Being responsible," he muttered. Soon, we were at a small building that had a yellow banner in front of it saying "Drummers Wanted." Billie got out of the car, twirling his keychain and opened my door. "You ready for the pounding?"
"Of course." He rolled his eyes and we walked into the building and saw hundreds of people air drumming and talking mind-numbingly.
"Hey Mike," Billie said.
"Wassup motha fucka?"
"Ready for this shit?" Billie asked him.
"Hell yeah bitch." We all sat down at a table and Billie grabbed a microphone.
"All right you guys shut the fuck up." Everyone eventually quieted down and looked at Billie.
"Kay, I'm Billie Joe and this nigga is Mike and this bitch is Jessica." Some guys whistled to me. "Alright. Now hopefully all you mother fuckers signed in, cause if you're not, you won't get an audition. Now this is how it's gonna work. I'll call your name and you're gonna play your best shit." Mike took the clipboard with the sign in sheet and called the first name.
"Aaron Paine." About an hour passed and the room was almost clear; they all sucked so bad that they didn't last 15 seconds on the stool. After all this, it was only 4:00. And finally, the last person was called. "Tre Cool?" Mike said like he didn't believe that was his name. What a stupid name. The guy who I suspected to be Tre came to the drum set and immediately started playing with a good beat. From working in a music store, I quickly picked up the beat to being a Van Halen song. Billie and Mike actually let him keep playing and when he was done, Billie said, "Welcome to Green Day." [lol kia] The Tre guy came over to me, picked me up and kissed me.
"Thank you guys so much! Uh...what do I do?" he asked nervously.
"Let me go!" I yelled and he loosened up.
"Our first band practice will be Saturday at 4:00 sharp."
"Alright here's my number," Tre said and handed a piece of paper to me.
"Your bandmates are over there," I said and pointed to them.
"Oh, right." He winked at me and handed Billie the paper.
****
Billie drove me back to his house. "You never told me. What seemed different about me."
"I told you you looked clean," he said.
"No, you told me how I looked different. Not how I seemed."
"Oh. I see." He took a few glances at me. "You seem happier. Not quite as suicidal."
"I looked suicidal?" I asked.
"Well, sickly is more like it. You used to be so troubled and now it seems all of it just washed away."
"Hmm." was all I could think to say. He pulled in front of his house and I got out before he could open the door for me.
"So what made you so happy?" he sounded interested.
"I...met someone," I said as I sat on the couch.
"Oh," He seemed down in a way, like Ed had when I told him Bilile was a friend.
"Yeah-" I started but there was a knock at the door. I looked at the clock. Four fifty two. Billie got up off the couch and immediately glared at Ed with something I could easity read. Jealousy.
I hesitated. "No."
"Why not?"
"Ed can you promise me something? Promise me you won't think I'm a freak or something."
"I promise to never think you're a freak." I smiled awkwardly as he bent his head down so I wouldn't have to talk loud.
"My parents...they uh...beat me," I said quietly.
His eyes widened with rage. "What?!"
"Ed, Ed please don't tell anyone."
He breathed out heavily. "Fine." We reached the front of my house. "Can't I come in to meet them?" I wished he could, but I don't know what will happen.
"I'm not sure if that's a good idea."
He looked hurt. "I don't mean to put you in a sticky situation, but if I can't meet them, then I can see this relationship doesn't really matter to you."
"Alright, come on in," I said dragging him inside and he smiled. "Mom? Dad?" I called.
"What do you want?" I heard from the hallway and I felt Ed squeeze my hand.
"Mom, I'd like you to meet somebody."
I heard shuffling on the floor and my mom came into the front room and threw down a dirty shirt. "Who is this?" she asked rudely.
"Mom, this is my...boyfriend Ed."
Ed smiled and stuck out his hand. "It's nice to meet you Mrs. Thibedeaux."
She took his hand catiously. "Boyfriend, huh? You must be pretty desparate to date my daughter."
"No, ma'am. I happen to find her very appealing," Ed said, shocked my mom would say something like that.
I swear this is the nicest she's ever been. "Well I'm glad you've found her, maybe now she'll stay out of the house." After a few minutes of talking, Ed had to leave and leave me here alone with the ravenous killer that could snap any minute.
"You'll be fine, I promise. I won't let anything happen to you," he said as he stroked his thumb along the line of my jaw. And on that note, I sat down in the living room and watched TV with my mom. I could feel her watching me with fiery eyes when I wasn't looking.
"Mom, are you mad at me?"
"Yes," she said flatly.
I knew it. "Why Mom? He's really nice! Give him a chance!"
"No, Goddamnit. I'm mad at you for everything you've ever done. But meeting him was the best thing you have done." I couldn't believe the words coming out of her mouth.
"What?" I shivered.
"Keep him, Jess. Don't let him go." I nodded and went downstairs to my room. And for once, I couldn't wait to go to school.
****
I walked out into the cold when I stopped dead in my tracks. In front of my ghetto house, a brand new BMW was parked and Ed was leaning against it. "Want a ride?" he asked. I ran to him and he caught me in his arms.
"Yes!" I said and he excorted me to the passenger door. We were in the car. "You know, this wasn't really necessary. The school is ilke 5 seconds down the road." Ed smiled and ignored me. But I had the strangest feeling he wasn't smiling at what I said. "What did you do last night?" I asked trying to read the expression of his face.
"Sleep."
"No, I mean, to make my mom...presentable." We were in the parking lot by now and he looked at me.
"No one can resist my politeness, my looks and my ability to make someone lose their virginity by smiling." He smiled and I almost had a heart attack. "See." He walked around to my door while I tried to restart my heart. "Do you need me to carry you to class?" he asked, his eyebrows arched.
"No, I'm fine. I swear." He stepped aside to let me out of the car and when we got to the corner of the school, he stopped me.
"Wait, Jessica." I turned to him then and he tok out a cigarette and gave it to me.
"You smoke?" I asked.
"Oh, no. I just noticed you left to go smoke and I'm not going to fight you, I'm fine with it."
I smiled and then asked, "Does smoke bother you?"
"Most of the time."
"Then I'll save it for when I'm not around you," I teased. I knew I'd never be away from him. Or want to be. Ed smiled and grabbed me around my waist and we walked to our first class while everyone stared.
"What do you want to do after school today?" Ed asked as everyone came in.
"Um...I was thinking I could pay my friend a visit."
"Okay. Do you want to do something after that?"
I smiled and closed my eyes. "Of course." He took my hand and my sleeve fell down to reveal a few of the many bruises. His intense curiosity of him studying my arm on top of his care reminded me of when Billie searched my arm just a few days ago.
"Are you okay?" he asked, his eyebrows arched. "Do you feel hurt?"
"Not right now. Only when I touch it." Ed carefully slid my sleeve back down and kissed my hand, then carrssed his hand along the back of mine.
"Mr. Winters, hands to yourself," Mr. Brae announced. Ed smiled to me and kept holding onto my hand.
****
Ed drove me to Billie's house in his black BMW and we were sitting in the car. "Can you pick me up at 5:00?"
"Of course," he smiled.
"Alright see you later." I leaned over the console to hug him quickly and stepped out of the car. I heard Ed drive away as I walked up the overgrown pathway. Before I got to the door, it opened and Billie came out whistling.
"Oh, Jess what are you doing here?"
I shrugged. "Just wanted to drop by...Did I catch you at a bad time?"
"Not really. I was just heading out to meet Mike for drumming audtions."
"Oh, well can I come?"
"Sure," he smiled cheekily and escorted me to his car. We got in the car and I was running my finger along the polyester seat covering. "You look different. You seem different," he said.
I shrugged. "What's different about me?"
"You look clean. Not necessarily shower-type, but like...you haven't had a cigarette in a while."
"Oh, well you're right about that." He looked at me stunned.
"Well here you go." Billie pulled his cigarette from his ear and handed it to me. Does smoke bother you? Most of the time. Ran threw my head.
"You know what? No thanks." I handed the cigarette back to him and he looked even more stunned as he stopped at a stop light.
"Are you sick?" He reached over and felt my head.
"No, I'm fine," I laughed and pushed his arm away. He smiled and lit up the cigarette himself.
"Being responsible," he muttered. Soon, we were at a small building that had a yellow banner in front of it saying "Drummers Wanted." Billie got out of the car, twirling his keychain and opened my door. "You ready for the pounding?"
"Of course." He rolled his eyes and we walked into the building and saw hundreds of people air drumming and talking mind-numbingly.
"Hey Mike," Billie said.
"Wassup motha fucka?"
"Ready for this shit?" Billie asked him.
"Hell yeah bitch." We all sat down at a table and Billie grabbed a microphone.
"All right you guys shut the fuck up." Everyone eventually quieted down and looked at Billie.
"Kay, I'm Billie Joe and this nigga is Mike and this bitch is Jessica." Some guys whistled to me. "Alright. Now hopefully all you mother fuckers signed in, cause if you're not, you won't get an audition. Now this is how it's gonna work. I'll call your name and you're gonna play your best shit." Mike took the clipboard with the sign in sheet and called the first name.
"Aaron Paine." About an hour passed and the room was almost clear; they all sucked so bad that they didn't last 15 seconds on the stool. After all this, it was only 4:00. And finally, the last person was called. "Tre Cool?" Mike said like he didn't believe that was his name. What a stupid name. The guy who I suspected to be Tre came to the drum set and immediately started playing with a good beat. From working in a music store, I quickly picked up the beat to being a Van Halen song. Billie and Mike actually let him keep playing and when he was done, Billie said, "Welcome to Green Day." [lol kia] The Tre guy came over to me, picked me up and kissed me.
"Thank you guys so much! Uh...what do I do?" he asked nervously.
"Let me go!" I yelled and he loosened up.
"Our first band practice will be Saturday at 4:00 sharp."
"Alright here's my number," Tre said and handed a piece of paper to me.
"Your bandmates are over there," I said and pointed to them.
"Oh, right." He winked at me and handed Billie the paper.
****
Billie drove me back to his house. "You never told me. What seemed different about me."
"I told you you looked clean," he said.
"No, you told me how I looked different. Not how I seemed."
"Oh. I see." He took a few glances at me. "You seem happier. Not quite as suicidal."
"I looked suicidal?" I asked.
"Well, sickly is more like it. You used to be so troubled and now it seems all of it just washed away."
"Hmm." was all I could think to say. He pulled in front of his house and I got out before he could open the door for me.
"So what made you so happy?" he sounded interested.
"I...met someone," I said as I sat on the couch.
"Oh," He seemed down in a way, like Ed had when I told him Bilile was a friend.
"Yeah-" I started but there was a knock at the door. I looked at the clock. Four fifty two. Billie got up off the couch and immediately glared at Ed with something I could easity read. Jealousy.