I Will Not Kiss You

“Oh my God! Is that little Frank?”

I shrank away from Mr Way’s exclamations. His loud voice frightened me. Mikey slowly raised a hand and patted my shoulder reassuringly. Mr Way grinned at me and extended a hand to shake. But I just stared at it.

“Oh…oh of course!” He said to himself, staring at me “Oh God sorry! Can I shake your hand, Frank?”

I shrugged and shook hands with him. He didn’t have to ask me, I was just looking at his hand before I shook it. He smiled and went to see Donna. She beamed at him and greeted him with a big kiss on the lips. There was a loud smack as they pulled apart. It sounded weird. So I tried to ignore it. Gerard was watching cartoons while I watched Donna finish cooking.

“There you are,” She smiled, handing me a plate “It’s home-made pizza and fries!”

I already knew that because I’d been watching her cook but I didn’t say anything. She’d made a cheese and tomato pizza and said it was especially for me which was very nice of her. Mikey showed me where to sit at the table and sat beside me with his meal. I waited politely until everyone was seated and eating before I started eating.

“It’s so nice to finally meet you, Frank!” Mr Way said.

“It’s very nice to meet you too.”

He smiled and continued eating. Gerard turned and started talking to him about how his day had been and asking what he’d been doing etc. I turned to Donna.

“This is really nice.” I said appreciatively.

She smiled widely and I guessed that made her happy. I like making people happy. It means you’re a nice person. Unless you are making assholes happy by picking on someone. That means you’re a bad person. Like when Ellis’s friend Brad touches me to try and make me scream and hit at him to make Ellis laugh! It makes Mikey angry when they do that. He stood up once and shouted ‘He’s not an animal in a zoo cage for you to point and laugh at!’ and then Ellis said something about retards and Mikey hit him. So Ellis hit him back and they started fighting. Mikey got into trouble as well as Ellis and I felt bad because he was trying to stick up for me.

“Hey dreamer!” Gerard laughed, tapping my arm.

I pulled my arm back from him because it made me jump. He crossed his eyebrows and returned to his dinner…

…”It’s getting dark out there!” Gerard stated, looking out of the window “D’you want me to drive you home?”

“No thank you.” I said, pulling my jacket on.

I don’t like the idea of being on my own in the car with a stranger. Even if he is Mikey’s brother. He might try and do something bad to me. Just because he’s my best friend’s brother it doesn’t mean he might not be a kidnapper. He narrowed his eyes at me.

“I don’t like the idea of you walking through New Jersey by yourself!”

“I’ll be ok,” I assured “I can hit very hard!”

“I still don’t like it!” He said, pulling a set of keys out of his pocket “I’m driving you!”

“No it’s ok-“

“C’mon Mikey! We’re driving Frank home!”

Mikey, who was in the bathroom, came bounding down the stairs. At least Mikey’s coming too. I trust Mikey. He’s been my friend for nine years and he’s never hurt me once. But that’s not the only reason he’s my best friend. He’s also really nice and understanding.

“C’mon then.” Gerard called, opening the front door.

Mikey and I followed him out to the silver car after I said thank you to Donna and Mr Way. They both smiled and said I can come back whenever I like. And I can now that I’ve been here once; because I know what it’s like. Gerard held the car door open for me and I climbed in, followed by Mikey. The car smelt like Pine Fresh car freshener and cigarette smoke. There was also a smell of carpet shampoo which meant the car was new, the carpet was new or he’d washed the carpet recently.

“Where am I driving to?” He questioned, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel.

“Pine Park Walk!” I replied.

He put the key in the ignition and started the car. We drove in silence for a few minutes and then Gerard spoke.

“You’re autistic aren’t you?”

“Sorry?”

“Autistic!” He repeated “Or aspergers; you’ve got one of ‘em!”

“Leave it, Gee.” Mikey said sharply.

“Why?” He questioned “I’ve already figured it out! There’s no point trying to hide it!”

Mikey went to sat something but I spoke first.

“I have aspergers syndrome.” I admitted “It’s at the minor end of the autistic spectrum!”

“Yeah, I know what it is.” He said “I could tell you quite a lot about it!”

“How did you know?” I questioned.

“I used to work with someone who has it! I don’t think she had it that bad though!”

“Oh.”

I didn’t know what else to say so I just stared out the window at all the street lights going past. It was really dark now and I could see the stars. It was nice. All the different buildings whirred past in one big blur.

“By the way, Mikes,” Gerard suddenly said into the silence “Did I happen to mention that Bert and I were back there?”

“So?”

“Bert and I!” He said slowly and clearly.

“EW!” Mikey exclaimed, making me jump slightly.

“What is it?” I asked.

“Bert’s his ex-boyfriend.” Mikey explained.

“Hey!” Gerard snapped “If I want my private life discussed, then I’ll discuss it thank you!”

“Well I knew you wouldn’t mind!”

“How do you know that? For all you know I could’ve suddenly developed a paranoia about discussing my ex!”

“Whatever!” Mikey replied, waving a hand.

“And also,” He added “I was kidding.”

“Does that mean you’re gay?” I asked.

“Um…yeah,” Gerard confessed “You don’t mind do you?”

“No.”

He sighed with relief.

“I like this kid!” He exclaimed, jerking a thumb in my direction.

“Huh?”

“Some kid from your school heard about it and gave Mikes a hard time!”

“Remember when Ellis was shouting ‘Fag’s bro’ at me?” Mikey asked.

“Oh yeah!”

“It was ‘cause of Gerard!”

“You know him?” Gerard questioned.

“Yeah! He picks on me!”

“Why?”

“’Cause I have aspergers! He thinks it’s really entertaining to poke me to try and make me scream at him!”

“That’s horrible!”

“You get used to it!”

“Still not acceptable!” Gerard stated.

“That’s what I say!” Mikey said.

The conversation was ended as Gerard drove into Pine Park Walk and I tried to direct him to my house. There were a lot of turnings he had to make and he said it was confusing. But Mikey and I finally managed to show him the way and he pulled up outside my house.

“Oh God!” He exclaimed as I got out “I gotta’ find my way outta’ this maze now!”

“You’ll be fine!” Mikey insisted, clambering into the passengers seat beside him.

“Thanks for the ride!” I said.

“Anytime.” He smiled.

Gerard stayed parked until I’d opened the front door and stepped inside. I turned to wave them both goodbye as he drove off.