We Won't Regret This

Pat's POV

I rubbed my eyes sleepily, rolling out of my bunk. I didn't sleep at all last night. I felt so empty, so incomplete. The lack of John's arms around me felt like I wasn't whole anymore.

I trudged out of the bunk area, grabbed a Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop Tart, and sat down, opening my laptop. I listened to some music, updated my blog, and was just about to log onto Twitter when Kennedy sat down next to me.

"Hey, what are you up to?"

"Just checking stuff."

I could see that Kenny was looking at me weird, but neither of us said anything. Pretty soon, everyone else was waking up and coming into the kitchen-area. I remained silent as everyone bustled around me, barely noticing as a shoe flew past my head.

"Hey Patty-cakes, you alright?" LB asked as he ruffled my hair. I smiled at him weakly, "Yeah, just tired."

Despite the doubtful look he gave me, the matter was dropped quickly as he turned to face the doorway and shouted "JOHN OHHHHHHHH" loudly in my ear. I dropped my gaze to my hands in my lap, avoiding any kind of contact with the person I missed most.

Hearing the door to the bus slam shut due to John's exit, I felt a few tears begin to streak down my cheeks and I wiped them away with the back of my hand, hoping they went unnoticed. I jumped, startled, when Garrett, who was sitting across from me, slammed his fists down on the table as he furiously stood. I winced as the door to the bus slammed shut again and heard the muffled yelling from outside.

The other guys looked at each other, obviously confused. I dodged their questioning gazes as my ears strained to hear the smothered conversation as the yells began to quiet to regular speaking. I was just about to stand to retreat back to my bunk when the bus door opened again and the duo returned, Garrett looking furious and John with a bloody nose.

John's POV

I turned my head quickly and stopped walking as I heard the bus door slam again, this time from Garrett.

"What the fuck did you do to him?" Garrett was instantly in my face, eyes ablaze with fury.

"I did nothing," I replied calmly, "this is all his fault."

"Then why aren't you the one crying right now? WHAT DID YOU DO?"

I was a bit taken aback, this reaction from Garrett was completely unexpected. He was usually a fair, chill guy. "He kissed Jack. From All Time Low. I didn't do anything but tell him it's over."

Garrett blinked twice, slowly. "John, listen to yourself. Pat would never do that."

"I thought so too," I replied, my voice slightly cracking, "until I saw it with my own eyes."

Garrett shook his head, "What was Pat's explanation, then?"

I narrowed my eyes, "He said that Jack came onto him, and that Jack was drunk. I want to believe that, but he didn't seem like he wasn't kissing back. He was fisting Jack's shirt, pulling him closer. What am I supposed to believe?"

"Believe Pat, you moron! Why the hell would he ever do that to you?! Are you really that fucking stupid, John?"

I stepped closer to Garrett, my fists clenched, "What's done is done. If he doesn't care for me anymore, it isn't my fault. I don't care who he kisses, and I don't care how much he cries."

I was lying to myself, and lying to Garrett. I cared more than I could ever admit. I figured it would be easier for everyone this way, but I knew I was dead wrong when I felt a fist connect with my nose. I stumbled backwards, dazed, as I felt a searing pain and warm liquid trickle down the crevices of my lips.

"Pat is my best friend, you asshole! I know you care about him, it's your fault the both of you can hardly talk to the rest of us anymore. I've put up with all of this, never spending any time with him because he's always with you. But you can't hurt him like this. You know damn well that Pat did nothing wrong. You're just too fucking afraid of admitting you were wrong. Now that he doesn't do anything but lie in his bunk and cry is your fucking fault. You know how he feels about you. I know how you feel about him. Go the hell back in there and fix this, John, or so help me I will kill you. You are going to destroy the best thing that's ever happened to us. Stop thinking about yourself and think about Kennedy, Jared, me, and mostly Pat. This band is everything to the rest of us. I don't care what your priorities are, but this is our lives. You messed up. You jumped to conclusions. You were wrong. Admit it. You will tear this band apart, along with the heart of my best friend. Go back on that fucking bus and tell Pat you love him. I don't care if any one else hears, you need to tell him that you're sorry for being such a dick."

I don't think I had ever heard Garrett say so much at one time, but I knew he was completely right. I was scared of admitting I was wrong. I did fuck up. I nodded at my bandmate and walked back over to the bus, opening the door.

The rest of the guys on the bus were staring at me as I walked through the door. I sat down next to Pat and looked right into his eyes.

"I was wrong," I swallowed, my gaze never faltering, "I jumped to conclusions. What I saw, it just seemed so wrong and I assumed so much in the heat of that moment. You have no idea how broken that made me, but the more time passed, the clearer my head got. And I knew that I was wrong, that you weren't lying. This is all my fault, because I'm too much of an ass to admit my mistakes. But I'm sorry. I'm sorry for hurting you and not believing you and I'm sorry for being so self-centered. I love you, so much. I don't care who knows, I don't care what anyone thinks. But I do care that everyone knows that you're mine. If Jack or anyone ever tries anything like that again, I'll kill them, I swear. And I'll believe whatever you tell me, because I know it's the truth. You deserve more than this, but right now all I can give you is an apology."

Pat just stared at me. His gaze felt endless, until I felt his fingertips brush against my lips and my focus broke.

"You're bleeding," he whispered, a smile taking over his features.

"Garrett punched me," I whispered back.

"You deserved it."

I smiled at him, leaning closer to him, "Do you forgive me?"

"Of course," his words ghosted across my neck, causing the hairs there to stand up.

Our smiles met briefly as I pressed my lips to his, before pulling back in alarm and apologizing, "Sorry, I forgot about the blood."

"I don't care," he grinned, "I missed that."

"I'm missing something here," a voice I recognized as Kennedy's spoke up.

Pat and I both snapped out of our own little world to see four shocked band and crew members, and one extremely happy Garrett.

Oh, shit.