There's a Playground

It was graduation now. I couldn’t believe how fast my senior year of high school had gone. And to think, I had only been going to school in Vegas since late September. It was still strange for me to think that I had ever left this town of my birth. The town that I had, mostly, grown up in and the town that I had fallen so in love in.

Max and I had been dating for the last nine months. But it felt like forever. I was always with him. I went to almost every band practice that he had, now. Because having Max in my life, as my boyfriend, made me realize that I hated feeling alone. It was, by far, the worst feeling in the world. Which was why that I pretty much spent my time with Max by my side almost twenty-four seven. Okay, so that was a lie. But we did spend a lot of time together. And I always felt beyond awkward when I was alone… I dealt with it fairly well, I thought, though.
I still hadn’t looked in to any colleges or anything like that. Like I promised Max, I wasn’t going to move at all anytime soon. I didn’t think I would be able to handle not being anywhere that he wasn’t… Not anymore, at least…

I ran my hands through my hair nervously as I watched the teachers trying to corral all the seniors to line up alphabetically. Which was retarded because, as soon as we had to go sit down in our seats, we’d all just group up with our friends anyway. I was stuck standing between Bryan and Madison. Bryan, I obviously didn’t mind at all. But having Madison stand behind me was a little unnerving. Why the hell she had to go and have a last name that came after mine alphabetically, I had no idea. But apparently fate was cruel like that.

“Hey, Wendy. Do you know what you’re little boyfriend is doing tonight?” she whispered in my ear in her high pitched voice. I frowned, rolling my eyes and crossing my arms over my chest. I didn’t like how the gown that I had to wear was kind of itchy. “He’s actually planning on dumping you tonight.” My heart sunk despite the fact that I knew she was lying. I frowned, taking a deep breath as Bryan bounced from foot to foot nervously in front of me. I wanted to talk to him and ignore the skank behind me. Probably wasn’t going to be that easy, honestly… “And he’s gonna come over to my house…again… Oops! I said too much!” her poisonous voice seeped beneath my skin and into my veins. I clenched my fists and frowned heavily, tilting my head forward so that my hair, sort of, hid the fact that I had tears pricking my eyes.

I knew she was lying. There was no way in hell that Max would cheat on me now. Not after all that we’d been through together. Right? Right. There was no way…

I hated that girl and her ability to snake her way into my thoughts and start to poison me and my relationship…

“I’d like to introduce our senior class of this year…”

And from there, my life started going down hill…

----

It was June.

A month after graduation and my mom still has yet to stop riding my ass for to start doing something with my life. I’ll admit, I really haven’t done anything in the last month. I’ve tried looking for jobs, but no one is hiring anymore. And if they are, they don’t want to hire me. Don’t know why, but they won’t. My dad’s been trying to look for a way to get me working with him at the company he works for. He said that I’d probably end up filing and copying things. Being an assistant or some shit like that…

I don’t know how I feel about it, but I was just about to take anything at that point…

The only big problem in my life right now?

The fact that Max and I’s relationship was about to take a turn for the committed long run or a turn for the separated worst. Why?

I was pregnant.

I found out a few days ago, after a doctor’s appointment that my mother took me to after learning that I was getting sick in the mornings. I’d criticized Gabby for not noticing the fact that she was pregnant before hand. But here I was. My mom was floored when I came out of the doctor’s office pale white and crying. The doctor had to be the one to break the news to her…

She almost killed me…

By the time I found out, I was about a month along. Which meant that Max’s little “party” after graduation was what sealed my fate indefinitely.

I hadn’t talked to Max since I found out. I screened his calls, screened all contact with him. I’d pretty much just stayed in bed with the window shut and locked, the curtains drawn. My laptop was really the only thing to keep me company.

Mother was under very strict instructions from me not to tell Max about this. When he came over, she’d tell him I was sick and couldn’t see anyone for a few more days.

I felt terrible about not telling him, but I didn’t know how. I didn’t want to tell him and have him freak out on me or anything. I also didn’t want to tell him and have him leave me. I wouldn’t be able to handle that…

The only other people that I’d told about this little…situation, was Craig and Gab. They’d moved back down to Phoenix after Bryan, Max, Omar, and I all graduated. I felt bad that now, only Robert was left to get through the last year of high school. Ah well, he’d survive…

Anyway, yeah. I’d only told Craig and Gabby about my being pregnant. Gab was about five months pregnant herself and she was really happy for me. Same with Craig. They both told me to tell him as soon as possible…

But for some reason, I couldn’t bring myself to do it… I didn’t know why, but I just couldn’t…

But tonight I had planned to.

Tonight was Escape the Fate’s first really big gig. They were playing in a local club and Max had begged me through text messages to go. But I ignored them…

Tonight, though, after he got home from the concert, I was going to go over there and tell him. I couldn’t hold it in anymore and not talking to him about anything was starting to kill me…

I took a deep breath as I watched my still-flat stomach rise and fall with it. I’d been doing this for the last half hour, just trying to sort out my thoughts and everything that I was going to say to him… I also spent that time, like I had for much of the last three days, thinking about the future.

What would our child look like? What would it act like? Was it going to be a boy or a girl? Was I going to be able to handle this? I’d be eighteen by the time it was born. I needed to go to college, I needed to get a job. What was I going to do with myself? How was I going to be able to raise it? What should I name it?

More and more questions just kept pooling out of my head into a lump of mush that I honestly couldn’t really understand myself. My throat got tight the more I thought and I could feel the tears stinging my eyes… I sighed angrily, reaching my hands up to stop drawing designs on my stomach to wipe at my eyes. I hated crying. And I’d been doing a lot of it ever since I’d found out…

A knock on my door brought me out of my brooding as I looked over at it. My mother poked her now-brunette head into my room. I almost jumped again. She’d dyed her hair about two weeks ago, but it was still alarming anytime that I saw her with a chestnut head of hair instead of her usual bright blonde. She smiled at me. “Max is leaving now. Did you want to go over there before he got back? Shannon said it was fine if you came over now…”

I took a deep breath before finally pulling up the motivation to sit up. I needed to do this. I had to do this. Shannon, Max’s mom, didn’t know about my being pregnant. I wanted to tell him first before anyone else knew. Anyone else other than my mother, Craig, and Gab, that is. Hell, my own father didn’t even know that I had ended up getting knocked up. I wasn’t so sure about telling him, of all people…

“Um…I think I want to wait until the morning…” I told her, frowning. She frowned at me and rolled her eyes with a sigh.

“Wednesday, this isn’t something that you can just put off. If you don’t tell him tomorrow morning, I’m going to kick your ass and then tell him myself,” she scolded me.

“Alright…” I told her, sighing and hanging my head.

She sighed again and then left, closing her door behind her and leaving me to myself all over again…

After that, I showered and dressed myself in a pair of black skinny jeans and Max’s Iron Maiden t-shirt. Every time I wore those jeans, I was reminded that I was going to be blown up like a fucking balloon soon. A misshapen balloon, but a balloon all the same…

It was around five in the morning when I finally went over to Max’s house. I had been tossing and turning and I was tired of waiting for the sun to rise. Shannon was awake when I knocked on the front door, but she gave me a look of being tired and upset. She didn’t tell me anything other than the fact that Max was in his room…

I walked in and looked at Max draped across his bed. Worry struck me. He didn’t normally sleep like that and I wondered if this was the reason that his mother looked so upset when she answered the door. I wrapped my arms over my stomach as I walked over to him.

“Max?” No response. “Max?” Again, there was no response. His breathing was shallow and my heart raced as reached a hand out to shake his shoulder. “Maxwell Scott Green! Wake up! Please!?” I begged, worry coating my voice. Finally, he stirred and his eyes peeled open as I stepped back and wrapped my arms around my stomach once more. “Max…what’s wrong?” I asked, frowning deeply.

“I…I’m h…high, baby,” he said as if it was the simplest thing in the world. Anger sparked deep within me as I stared at him, incredulous. It was then that I noticed that he didn’t smell like Max. He did, but it wasn’t the same. His eyes were red and puffy, and the gaze in his eyes was milky. If that made any sense…

“What?” I asked, my voice a low hiss.

“I said, I’m high! What the fuck is wrong with you!?” I frowned at him, feeling my throat tighten heavily. “You don’t fucking call, you don’t fucking text me back. You don’t fucking do anything! What the fuck is wrong with you!?” I felt the tears pool out of my eyes as I hugged my arms tighter to my stomach, stepping back. Max seemed to notice this as he sat up, frowning at me and reaching for me.

“Baby, I’m sor…I’m sorry,” his voice completely changed and I shook my head again.

I knew this would end badly. I knew his promises would all amount to nothing in the end. And here I was, a mother-to-be having to watch my boyfriend and the father of my child fuck everything up for us.

“Max, I…” My throat tightened on the words that I was about to say. He was standing now, reaching for me as I continued to step backwards towards the door. Tears continued to fall down my face as I reached a hand behind me to grab the door knob. “I can’t do this. No. You…you broke your promise! What…no!” I couldn’t even function the thought process right now. My throat tightened even more as a choked sob leaked away from my control…

“I’m…Max, we’re done. I…” More choked sobs as his face fell and realization almost seemed to dawn on him. I pulled open his bedroom door, turned, and ran. I didn't even get the chance to tell him he was going to be a father...