Girl I Know

Chapter 28

Mercury’s PoV

Brian was right; he just couldn’t save me all the time. I needed to learn to get out of this myself, but how can I when I’m so caught up in it already? My body was still responding to the assault of Ronnie’s fingers to my lower half. He added a 3rd finger and the pain was mixing more into the pleasure.

I remember when Brian would hold me, and touch me like this. How he meant it when he told me he loved me. I got caught up in a memory and I saw Brian’s naked body in front of me as he stared into my eyes. I loved the way he would grab my hips, how he was so dominative. I loved the way he would set out to please me, like my desires were his.

My eyes fluttered closed and I moaned.

“…mhm Brian…” I let effortlessly slip past my lips and I instantly realized what I said. I could almost hear the record skip as the room became dead silent. Ronnie ripped his fingers out of me quite painfully, and his eyes were darkening quickly. The silence was cut by his growl and his hands wrapped tightly around my neck.

“What the fuck was that!” He yelled in my face, and I tried to push him away from me, but he only increased his grip. My oxygen was quickly running low.

“N-no-thing…” I gasped and I felt him let go of my neck and a force slashed across my cheek. A thin line of blood seeped from the bottom of the cut and down my face, mixing with tears.

“You just said his fucking name, WHAT DID I TELL YOU!” I he screamed, speaking quickly and his impending rage caused me to cry even harder.

“Please Ronnie stop…I just want to go home.” I said but he wasn’t having it.

“I’ll fucking send you home bitch!” He yelled getting in a punch to my ribs.

“I never want to hear you say his name…ever…or you will be so much more than sorry!” He growled and I silently nodded. He threw me to the side, finally releasing my neck and I rolled to the ground.

“You fucking stupid bitch! I wanted this to be a special evening for us, but no! You just have to bring up that motherfucker! What the fuck is so great about him?! WHAT DOES HE HAVE THAT I DON’T?!” He screamed, his voice turning raw.

“A heart.” I spat back at him.

“Get the fuck out of my sight before I change my mind and decide to kick your fucking teeth in.” He said glaring at me and looking away. I scrambled myself off of the floor and I re buttoned my pants. I tried to hide myself as much as I could in my hoodie as I made a mad dash back to the bus. I felt so used and violated…I didn’t deserve to be conscious right now. I ran onto the bus ignoring the stares of my brother and his friends. I went back to Brian’s bunk, needing to be comforted somehow. I lay myself on his pillow and on top of his sheets. I just stayed there in peace until…

“If you don’t mind, can you get the fuck out of my bunk?” I heard a voice ask with malice laced in it. It stung hearing him talk to me that way, and I don’t see why he was being so hostile, he wasn’t like this before.

“Brian what the fuck is your problem?!” I asked k off now.

“I don’t know! Maybe that there is a 16 year old whore in my fucking bed when I’m trying to get to sleep!”

“What is fucking wrong with you now?” I yelled back, my hands twitching to lash out for calling me a whore.

“I don’t fucking know! It’s always something fucking different! Why don’t you go ask your fuck buddy and see what he’ll tell you, Michelle!” He screamed and that’s when I lost it. I lost all control, all emotion, except for anger. We were both shocked that he had let that slip.

Michelle.

He knows I hate her…he knows I can’t stand her. He knows I would hate to be called ‘Michelle.”

“HOW.DARE.YOU!” I screamed so loud I heard someone probably jump and nearly fall off of a chair. I sounded like an angry female version of Matt. Brian smirked, he fucking smirked at me. It wasn’t fucking funny, I haven’t been this angry in years. The last time I ever got this angry was when I met Michelle.

“How dare I?! You are just fucking like her! WHY ISNT ANYTHING EVER GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU! WHY AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU! YOU ARE JUST A FUCKING BITCH M, YOU MIGHT AS WELL BE MICHELLE!”

He yelled furiously. My hands were burning to lash out and punch him.

“What the fuck is going on here?!” Matt yelled coming back here. I ignored him, I just wanted to beat the fuck out of Brian right now…

“Brian, I suggest you walk away…” I growled, breathing through my nose. My body temperature was skyrocketing and my skin started to feel sticky with sweat. I clenched and unclenched my fists.

“What the fuck are you going to do little girl? Hit me? Cause M, if that’s what you are planning, don’t expect me to not hit back.” He said and I was shocked.

“Really Brian?! Are you that fucking dumb! It’s one thing If I were to punch you in the face, but seriously if you hit back that’s just wrong! First I’m a girl and second you are a grown man dude!” I yelled honestly getting angry. How is he so fucking stupid?! He has to be bluffing because the day Brian hits me is the day I’ll ice skate in hell.

“That didn’t stop you from falling in-“He started to say and I realized what he just did there, how he was going to end that sentence. I just let everything go, and my hand took on a force of its own and I cut him off with a blow to his jaw.

“SHUT UP!” I screamed, with tears finally brimming my eyes. Someone wrapped their arms tightly around me and carried me away. I was struggling and fighting, but Brian just had a dark look in his eyes as his cheek started to bruise. I knew he would never hit me back…but he just couldn’t say that.

“M! What the fuck is going on!” Matt yelled at me, I figured it was matt…

“Nothing! Why is everyone so convinced that there is something wrong with me!?”

“Because you disappear from here out of fucking nowhere! You never say anything to us anymore; you just fucking started an argument with Gates, and then punched him in the fucking face! That’s not you M! And I just want to know what’s going on!” Matt screams, and I just couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t keep dealing with this shit.

Tears flew down my face as I knew I was tearing everything apart, including my heart. I held tightly onto Matt’s shoulders and I bunched his shirt in my hands. I just cried on his shoulder loudly as he rubbed my back.

“Shh…it’s okay baby girl…” He murmured and I hiccupped.

“N-no it’s n-no-not! I ru-ruined everything!” I cried. I could hear the rest of the guys yelling and shit over what just happened, I had singlehandedly turned this situation upside down.

“Baby just tell me what is wrong.” He said and I was silent for a moment. Matt kissed my cheek and it stung from the cut I had on there. I was actually able to cover it up well. He licked his lips and made a face.

“What the fuck? What is on your face?” He asked and I looked down.

“M, you never wear that cover up shit…” He said before something clicked in his head. He used his sleeve and began wiping all of the beige crème and powder off my face, revealing the long thin line, and the blueish bruise on my cheek.

“Who did this to you?...”He murmured and there was literally no way out.

“I…i…c-cant…” I stuttered, but Matt made me look him in the eyes. I couldn’t get out of them.

“Mercury…” he said again.

“…It was Ronnie...”

“WHAT?!” Matt roared and my eyes widened in shock and fear.

“Matt, fucking calm down…” I said slowly. He looked so murderous, his eyes seemed to be on fire, he was turning pink and a vein was bulging in his neck…

“No! I’m not going to fucking calm down! IM GOING TO BEAT THAT MOTHERFUCKER INTO THE GROUND!” He roared.

“Matty please…” I tried again but he just shook his head.

“Did he do anything else to you? Are you hurt?” He asked and I pointed to my ribs that were swollen and the skin above them was bruised.

“M, did he try to…touch you in any way?” Matt asked me and I looked down and away from him. He suddenly had my face between his palms and I nearly freaked out. My memory flashed to the many occasions that I stared into Ronnie’s hateful eyes in this position. I started shaking as I couldn’t get that thought out of my head.

“M…”Matt said softer and I felt the tears spill over.

“Y-ye-yes…” I stuttered and he slowly let go of me. He stared sympathetically into my eyes. I wouldn’t be surprised if I looked broken to him; my irises were cracking and releasing the tears behind them.

I’m sorry M, but you aren’t going to fucking stop me from doing this…” He growled and got up from his spot. I followed him.

“Fuck Shadows, slow down. What the fuck just happened?!” Zacky asked Matt.

“You want to fucking know what happened? That Ronnie fucker has been fucking around with M!” He yelled and It was like a match was lit.

“What?! What the fuck do you mean?!” Zacky yelled looking briefly at me.

“Did you see her face?...” Matt said sourly, and Zacky, Jimmy and Johnny came over looking at me. Brian was again nowhere to be found… Zacky tilted up my head, and his pupils contracted when he saw the cuts and bruises littered on my face.

“I am going…to murder him…” He seethed slowly and I let out a breath.

“Not only did he fucking beat on her, he fucking violated her too…fucking disgusting.” Matt spat and If Zacky wasn’t angry then, he was now.

“WHAT THE FUCK?! HOW DID THIS HAPPEN AGAIN M?!” He yelled and I started crying again.

“W-well, he didn’t exactly…rape me, he j-just…kinda…you know…” I tried to say but I kept stuttering as I tried to speak with my hands. They seemed to get it.

“That’s not any fucking better!” Jimmy finally yelled, and I was shocked to hear him yell that loud.

“I didn’t want it…I didn’t want any of this to happen! I just want to go home! I want Val! I want Gena, and Lee and Lacey! I’m sorry…I’m so sorry! I’m a fucking whore and I’m sorry!!” I cried loudly as I dropped to my knees and eventually I curled up in a sobbing ball.

“Oh M…don’t say that, just get up.” Zacky said grabbing under my arms and trying to pick me up. But I resisted.

“No! You hate me!” I cried loudly and he yanked me up. He stood me up and made me look into his eyes.

“M you need to listen to me… I love you; no matter what you do I will always love you. No matter what happens to you, I’ll always be here. You need to understand that, I know that I get pissed at you for a lot of shit, but I don’t hate you. I could never…” He told me and I felt something warm in my heart.

“In fact I love you so much, that I’m going to kill that motherfucker.” He said with a volatile smirk. I wanted that to fucking happen, but I was scared he might say something about me and Brian. I wasn’t ready to tell Zacky yet, but I knew I would have to. I also knew that Zacky would hang Brian by his balls for it too.

They all literally walked out of the door and I followed them. I wanted to see it happen…
They approached the tour bus and Ronnie was already standing outside with a cigarette in between his lips. I don’t think Zacky could keep his composure any longer.

Ronnie had the nerve to smile once he saw us and that pissed me off. Funny how I’m so confident with 3 guys and my brother with me…

“Hey what’s up?” He said cheerily, stomping out his cigarette. Oh his happy face soon was erased when he saw the looks on their faces.

“You’re dead Radke…” Zacky spat and he wasted no time rearing his fist back and sending it crashing down on his face. Ronnie immediately started fighting back but his attempts were in vain because it was four against one, Matt even counted for two people…

“HOW COULD YOU LIE TO OUR FUCKING FACES AND THEN GO OFF AND PULL THAT SHIT WITH MY SISTER!? WHAT IS IT THAT YOU MOTHERFUCKERS DON’T UNDERSTAND, HOW SICK AND TIRED I AM OF SEEING YOU FUCKS MESS WITH HER!” I heard Zacky roar and I put my hand over my mouth in shock. It was absolutely scary to watch how pissed off they all really were…

Ronnie kept trying to get words in, but Matt’s fist just kept blocking his mouth. Finally they stopped, and he looked horrible. His eyes were blackening, and his jaw looked swollen. He would have so many fucking bruises it wouldn’t be funny. He looked up at us through his swollen eyelids.

“It’s funny…I’m not the only one…fu…” He started to say and I instantly knew how he was going to end that sentence. He was going to say he’s not the only one who is fucking me. Since I’ve never even had sex with him, nor would I want to, he had to have been talking about Brian…I’m just glad he passed out before he could say anything else.

“What the fuck did he just say?” Johnny asked confused.

“Hell if I know…” I murmured. I had the threat of Ronnie taken away, but now I just needed to mend things with Brian…wait. The other part of Ronnie’s condition was that if
I didn’t do what he wanted…he would alert the press… But I guess since he is unconscious it’s the last thing on his mind...hehe.

“Dudes, let’s get the fuck out of here.” Jimmy said and we all ran for it back to the bus.

“Shit, I’m out of breath.” Zacky said breathing in deep.

“You shouldn’t smoke then…”I said and he flipped me off.

“See M, your brother loves you so much, he was willing to exercise for you.” Jimmy said putting his arm around me. I burst out laughing, and I hadn’t laughed let alone smiled for a few days now. A spoonful of Jimmy usually did the trick.

We stepped onto the bus, and there was still no sign of Brian. We all got comfortable on the couch watching TV, when nearly a half hour later, Brian comes stumbling onto the bus, with a cheap blonde attached to him. They we giggling drunkenly and touching on each other as they furiously made out. At the rate Brian was going, he was going to undress her and fuck her right there.

“Hey Gates! Where’ve you been?” Matt asked crossing his arms and raising his eyebrows in amusement.

“Oh dude, I went to the bar…and I picked up Candy. So if you guys don’t mind…” He said with a dopey grin.

“Syn…man I don’t think that’s a good idea…I mean we meant to tell you about M when you got back.” His face looked a bit more serious for a second.

“Look…I don’t fucking care about M right now.” He said getting pretty pissed. Everyone was in shock. His bitch just giggled.

“Ooh Syn…” She said running her finger along his jaw line and he ran his hands up her thighs. She flashed her eyes towards the bunks and I rolled my eyes.

“I don’t fucking care about you either you asshole. For all you know, that’s why I broke-" I paused realizing what I was about to say out of cold blood. He looked really pissed and I had to think of something.

“Broke all of your guitar strings.” I finished and his eyes burned in anger.

I huffed and Zacky nodded in disdain as he turned the volume of the TV. It seemed to drown out the noise for everyone else except me. I heard it all, that chicks squeaky moans, and Brian’s grunting, and the sound of the bunk mattress squeaking like mad.

All of those sounds just echoed in my head and haunted me. I know he was doing it on purpose, but I just wanted to know what was going on in his head right now! Why he all of a sudden hated me with this new burning passion…enough to actually call me Michelle!

I would talk to him sometime tomorrow though. After that bitch leaves, after his hangover passes, and maybe when my tears are finished air drying on my face.