Snake Bite Heart With a Bubble Gum Smile

I continue to stare ahead of me. I can't get the image of that girl out of my head. Her dead body was so breathtaking. There is beauty in death. A kind of morbid beauty that you can't shake from your mind.

"August," I hear my brother's voice whisper.

I look in the direction of his voice. He's standing next to the bench, next to where I sit. I didn't feel his presence. I didn't even notice him.

"Are you okay?" he asks, taking a seat next to me.

I nod.

"Are you sure? You look kind of out of it."

I shrug.

"Well, I came out to find you. I went upstairs and you weren't in your room."

I nod again.

Why did he go looking for me?

"Are you sure you're okay?"

I don't know what part of a nod he doesn't understand. I am fine. As fine as a runaway with the world on her mind can be.

Instead of speaking, I nod. Silence washes over the conversation, completely stamping it out. This silence is suffocating.

"Why did you go in my room?" I ask.

"Jack wouldn't shut up about you. You steer clear of him, okay? That boy is trouble," he sounds like a worried parent.

"He's your best friend," I point out.

He stays quiet for a moment. "I just don't want you to get hurt."

I nod as if I understand.

What is there to get hurt by? Jack is a human being I am attracted to. That doesn't mean I'll act upon my attraction to him.

I'm not attractive enough for him to like me anyway. I don't posses our family good-looks.

"Are you ready to go back in?" he asks.

"Not yet. I'll come back in a bit."

"A bit better not mean three years."

Laughter spills from my lips.

"No, Alex. A bit does not mean three years. I just need some time alone to compose myself."

"Well, I'm going to go home. Don't be too long."

"Okay."

He opens his mouth to say something. Ringing cuts through the air, throwing off his train of thought. He pulls his phone out of his back pocket, looks at the screen and flips it open.

"Yeah?" he asks.

I wonder who he's talking.

"I'm coming. Geez."

Probably his friends.

"No, she's not. She wanted to go out without you, you freakishly odd Lebanese person."

He has a Lebanese friend? Wait, is he talking about me?

"Jack, stop being a girl."

My stomach becomes light at his name. I really wish he didn't make me feel like this. I have enough to deal with without my want for him to be added on to it.

"Bye," my brother closes his phone. He looks at me, "I'll see you at home."

He gives me a quick hug and walks away. I watch after him till he is no longer in sight.

I'm alone again. There is no sound other than the wind and trees rustling.

I used to do this when I first ran away; sit at the bus stop and watch the world. The bus stopped coming to this stop long ago, before my birth I believe. No one took down the sign though. It was forgotten.

Not much ever happened at this stop. A few kids would walk by. Some children would play with toys in their front yards. A cop car passed by once. I guess that was when my family reported me missing. Or maybe it was just a drug-bust of some sort. Either way the car passed right by me.

Like I didn't even exist.