Snake Bite Heart With a Bubble Gum Smile

Eating alone at restaurants makes me feel uncomfortable. Why, I don't know. It just does. Maybe it has to do with not wanting to be alone in general.

I'm even more uncomfortable now, sitting in this little coffee shop, eating my grilled chicken sandwich. I can't help looking over my shoulder and being afraid someone will recognize me.

Then again, how would they? The picture they have is from at least three years ago. It may be even older. All the pictures from the year before I left are in a box under my bed. I doubt they've even stepped foot in my room. Plus, my hair is no longer dyed black. I let it grow back to its light brown hue. It costs too much to keep up with dying hair. I'm also taller and weigh more, considering I eat when I can now. My body has matured from its awkward thirteen year old state to that of a confident sixteen year old.

Alex is in way over his head if he thinks someone will recognize me.

What if he walks by? What if he glances in the window of this shop and his eyes fall on me? Will he recognize me? What if he were to walk in, order his normal hangover coffee and sit at the table next to mine?

Then again, I don't think he ever actually knew what I looked like or even my mannerisms. It's not like he was around to see them, to memorize them.

"Hey, August," David says, sitting across from me.

"When did you get here?"

He tilts his head. "I've been here for at least five minutes. I figured you would eat here, so I decided to meet you."

"Oh."

"No witty remark? What's wrong with you?"

An uncontrollable sigh emits from my mouth from frustration.

"You know that electronic store with the TVs in the window?" I ask.

He nods, taking a bite out of his sandwich.

"Well, I saw my brother and his band with their families. It was some interview; I didn't watch the whole thing. Alex made an announcement about me."

"What about you? Come on, you can't leave me hanging."

"He asked his fans to help them find me."

Silence.

David guffaws, cutting through the silence roughly.

"It gets better. Apparently they've had police looking for me for the past three years. My picture is on their MySpace and on those 'Missing Children' things you see everywhere. Amazing I haven't been found yet, right?"

"Well... kidnappings get a higher priority over runaways with the police. No one looks at the 'Missing Children' posters unless they've dealt with having a missing child. Then you don't want to be found; that makes it worse."

"So are you saying now that his fans know, I'll be found?"

He takes another large bite out of his sandwich, chewing and swallowing.

"Maybe," he states.

"Fuck."

"I know. It'll be okay. Maybe they've changed. I have to go back to work. See you later," he ate the last third of his sandwich in one bite.

He stood, waved and walked out of the coffee shop. I watched him walk half way past the window and stop, eyes widening.

A familiar, tall figure walks past the window of the coffee shop. He stops and looks up at the sign above the door. He shakes his head and walks away, thankfully not glancing through the window.

David looks at me, pointing to the man who just passed and mouthing "Alex."

I nod.

He walks away dazed.

Alex just walked by the coffee shop. My brother walked by. It's not like it's uncommon for him to come here. This is actually his favorite coffee shop, as well as mine. I'm surprised he didn't come in for coffee.

He probably wouldn't even notice I exist, sitting in this corner.

He never did during breakfast, lunch, or dinner. I would sit at the table and eat alone; he would stumble in with a hangover or half drunk, grab food, and leave. No "hi", no grunt of acknowledgment.

Of course he wouldn't notice now.

I can't help wishing he would.