Could Tell a Love 2

"What did you say?" I asked, in utter shock. I couldn’t even begin to comprehend the words that came out of his mouth. "A what?"

"A baby. I’ve been thinking about it—" Jared said, holding my hand.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait. Hold on. What are you talking about, Jared? We can’t adopt a kid! We’re in a full time band. We don’t have time to take care of a kid and do everything for the band." I said. I examined his face, and he looked disappointed. I immediately starting backing myself up. "It’s not like I don’t want a kid, I think it would be awesome, but we just can’t do it now." I said quieter, giving him puppy eyes.

He smiled a little bit and leaned up against me. "Yeah, I guess." He sighed. "I guess I just let that thought get the best of me and took my mind out of reality."

"Kids do that sometimes." I said simply.

"You would know." He said mockingly.

I pushed him with my shoulder and smiled. "Yeah, I would know. Speaking of, where is Eric? And everyone else? Weren’t they supposed to come over today?"

"Yeah, they were supposed to, but I rearranged the plans.." Jared said mischievously, tracing circles on my knee.

I couldn’t help but smile and kiss him. "I hate it when you do that. I do have other friends, you know."

"Yeah, so do I, but right now I just want it to be us. You and me. We haven’t had enough of that lately, and I miss it." He kissed me again.

We parted and I smiled again, looking down at the couch. "I’m kinda missin’ it, too."

I felt his finger lift my chin up, making me stare into his amazing eyes. "Will you think about it?"

"Think about what? The baby thing?" I asked.

He nodded.

I sighed. "I’ve already thought about it, Jared. We can’t afford to have a baby right now. We wouldn’t be able to take care of it."

"There’s always Miranda.." Jared said quietly.

"I’m not dumping a kid on her. I already did that to Casey with Eric and Katie, and I beat myself up over it. I’m not doing it again. And besides, it tore me apart emotionally because I missed them so much. I wouldn’t be able to get a baby and then leave it for three months at a time and not be able to watch it grow. Those are the most precious years of it’s life, and I wanna be there for them. I don’t wanna do the same thing my dad did to me and abandon my kid." I said, getting slightly sour at the last part, not wanting to talk about my dad, or the lack of one.

Jared sighed and got off the couch, going into the kitchen. I heard the fridge open and beer bottles jingling. He came back and sat on the floor, handing me a beer as well as cracking open one of his own.

"Oh, I don’t want one." I said, getting up to put it away.

"You don’t have to get up, I’ll do it." Jared said, taking the beer from my hand.

"O..kay..thanks." I said, feeling tension between us. He just needed to understand that we can’t have a kid running around and be in the band. I sat down on the couch slowly and grabbed the remote. Jared came back and took his seat on the floor again, not even looking at me. I didn’t say anything, but I wanted to yell at him for being selfish and inconsiderate of everyone else. The energy and words were there in my head and my lungs and on my tongue, but I couldn’t bring myself to say anything. I didn’t know if I was afraid of losing him again or if it was something else.

"You wanna call the guys and see if they wanna hang out?" Jared asked in a monotonous voice, running his finger around the edge of his beer bottle.

I sighed and slid onto the floor next to him, leaning against him. "Please don’t be like this, Jared."

"I don’t mean to, but, it’s just..." He looked at the floor. I didn’t let him finish. I pulled him into a hug where he cried into my shoulder.

"I know, I know, Jared." I said, rubbing his back. He’s always loved kids and always talked about having his own kids some day. Ever since his little brother died in a car accident, along with his mom, when he was three, he’s always wanted a kid of his own to take care of since he didn’t have a little brother to care for. "I feel horrible for saying no, but.."

"I know, we can’t afford to have one and we wouldn’t have the time. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t in this band." He said quietly into my shoulder.

"What are you talking about? If you weren’t in the band, there would be no us, and not to mention Blessthefall wouldn’t be as bitchin’." I said.

I felt him laugh a little into my chest. "There are other bass players in this world."

"But there’s only one Jared Warth." I said, giving him a crooked smile and making him look at me. "And if you were never in the band, you wouldn’t be in my arms right now, and I don’t know where else you would be, or should be, except right here, with me." I caressed his cheek lightly with my finger. He smiled and rested his head on my shoulder, arms still around my waist. "I don’t know where else I should be, either." He leaned up to kiss my jaw line. "I love you, Beau."

I smiled and cuddled closer to him (if that was even possible). "I love you, too, Jared." After a few moments of a happy silence, I asked, "Now are you gonna drop the baby thing? At least for now?"

He nodded. "I’ll let it go until a better time."

"Thank you." I whispered in his ear, nibbling at it a little bit, making him laugh. He wriggled out of my arms and straddled me, kissing me passionately, grabbing my cheeks. I kept him as close as possible. That was one of the only "arguments" we’re had ever since we’ve gotten back together. I didn’t like arguing with Jared, we both always took things so seriously and emotionally. They were never big arguments, but they were arguments nonetheless. The brighter part of the arguments, though, was when we made up.

Jared moved down to my neck and my hands started exploring his sexy body.

Jared suddenly stopped and laughed. "God dammit."

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and flipped it open. "Hello?...yeah, we were. Shut up, Eric! What do you need?...Sure, come on over. We can find shit to do." Jared said before laughing. "Yeah, funny. We’ll see you in a few minutes, then." He hung up and kissed me again before he got up, helping me up.

"Whole afternoon to ourselves, huh?" I asked, smirking.

"Shhh." Jared said, smiling.

"So what kinda shit we gonna do? Crazy shit? Who’s all coming?"

"Only Eric’s coming. Everyone else is recovering from hangovers. He’s probably gonna bring his PS3."

"Nice. So I can finally whoop his ass at Mario Kart." I said, sitting on the couch.

"Only if he beats me first." Jared said, going into the kitchen and dumping the rest of his beer. He only drank when he was upset or depressed. I thought it was a waste to dump half a bottle of beer, but whatever floats his boat, I guess.

I heard a knock at the door. I got off the couch and answered it. Eric ran into me with a hug.

"Hey man..." I said, kind of freaked out. "Good to see you, too, since, you know, we haven’t seen each other for hours.." I patted him on the back, almost losing my balance.

He just laughed. "I know. Such a long time. Hey! I brought the PS3 and a shit load of junk food."

"Nice!" I hear Jared say from the kitchen. "I bought a bunch of soda last night, too."

"Excellent. I’ll hook this up, and you can take these–" Eric handed me two bags full of chips and such. "—and help Jared with getting everything in bowls."

"Alright, that works." I said, carrying the bags to Jared, who already had three bowls out and three liters of a variety of soda with plastic cups. "Wow, you’re really on top of things." I set the bags down on the counter and starting opening them into the bowls.

He started laughing. "That’s what she said."

"Pfff! Jared! NOT what I meant." I said, pushing him over, almost making him spill soda all over the place.

He laughed some more, sneaking a kiss. "I know, but the opportunity was there."

"I know, I should’ve rephrased." I scooped some Cheetos into a bowl, eating a few here and there.

"Are you guys almost ready yet?" Eric yelled from in the living room.

"Yeah, what kinda soda you want?" Jared called out.

"Mountain Dew for the win."

"That’s two. I’ll be in there." I said, taking two bowls of chips and setting them down on the floor, sitting next to Eric, who was getting the game set up.

"Mario Kart?" He asked.

"Hellz yeah! I’m gonna beat you so bad." I said, grabbing the controller he didn’t already have.

He laughed confidently. "We’ll just see about that."

"Hey, hey. I said I was playing first, Beau. Move your ass." Jared said, handing each of us our sodas.

I shook my ass. "I’m moving my ass."

He rolled his eyes and sat on me, spilling a little bit of my soda.

"Hey now! Don’t get anything on the system. This is my baby." Eric said, petting his PS3.

Jared looked at me and we both rolled our eyes. Jared took the controller and pressed start. "Let’s do this thing."

My lap was numb by the time they were done battling it out, and Eric came out on top (insert laughing here) and now it was my turn.

"Ready to go down, Lambert?" I asked, letting my competitive spirit get the best of me.

"Bring it on, Bokan." He said, giving me a playful death stare. Eric pressed the start button and we selected our characters. I was always Mario, Eric Luigi. I was always the bottom screen. The race started and I figured out it was one of my favorite courses. It was easy to navigate and I got a good head start until Eric threw a bomb at me and spun me out.

"You little fucker!" I said, speeding up quickly after I recovered. I picked up a banana peel and made him run into a tree.

"Haha, revenge is a bitch." I said, speeding off to cross the finish line. "Yeah baby! First place!" I did a little victory dance.

"Yeah, yeah, you won me, this time." Eric said mischievously, taking a huge gulp of his soda. "Oh, that wasn’t a good idea. I gotta piss." He got off the floor and almost ran to the bathroom.

"So you got some awesome skillz." Jared said, moving to where Eric was sitting.

"Told you." I said, putting my empty cup inside his empty cup. He gave me an offended look. I just smiled. "I love you." I kissed him on the cheek and got up, running into Eric.

I backed away and he had a look of confusion on his face. I looked in his hands and he was holding some papers. Jared was on his feet now as well.

Eric looked from me to Jared. "What the hell are these?" He thrusted the papers at us.

"Adoption papers?" I asked, completely confused. "Why do you have these, Jared?"

He looked at the floor. "I got them just in case you said yes, but since you didn’t, they’re useless." He ripped them up, letting the pieces flutter to the floor.

"Adoption papers? Jared, what were you thinking! You can’t get a kid!" Eric said, sounding almost identical to myself this morning. "What about the band? You just gonna drop us off a cliff ‘cause you want a fucking kid? And Beau!" He said, yelling now. "Where were you when he did this? Did you have anything to do with it?"

"No, he had nothing to do with it. I did it all on my own. And since when were you so against kids? Where the hell did you get the idea that I’d completely forget about you guys for a kid?!" Jared said, getting progressively louder.

"Since you didn’t tell any of us. And the fact that a kid consumes most if not all your time, time that you need to be a part of this band." Eric turned away, absolutely fuming. I wanted to tell both of them to shut up, but, again, the words were caught in my throat. I was way too nice at the worst of times.

"I was going to tell you guys after I cleared it with Beau, and since it’s not happening, like I said, I was just going to forget about it. So stop getting on my ass about it."

"I wasn’t getting on your ass." Eric said defensively, then said under his breath. "That’s Beau’s job."

Now I was pissed. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"You know exactly what it means." He said quietly, coldly.

"What, just because you’ve been with Miranda for a while you’re totally against-"

"I can’t take this anymore." Jared said, storming out of the house, cutting me off mid-sentence, tears falling down his face.

"Great. Fucking great. Why’d you have to do that? You know how much he wants a kid!"

"I know, Beau, but he needs to get over it, honestly." Eric said.

"How can you get over something like that?! How would you react if Katie was killed tomorrow? And your mom along with her? I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t just ‘get over it.’"

Eric said nothing and looked at the floor.

"Get out of my house." I said, grabbing my keys.

"Why?" He asked cockily.

"It’s my house, that’s fucking why. And I’m going to find Jared." I shooed him out of the house, closing the door behind us.

"Hey! My PS3's in there!" He said.

"I’ll bring it to you tomorrow or whenever I get around to it. Bye Eric." I said monotonously, going to my car. Thankfully he decided not to take it.

I went at 5 miles an hour down the streets, looking for him. He got pretty far in the short amount of time between his departure and mine. I pulled over onto the side of the road because my vision was getting clouded by tears. I got out and looked for him on foot.

I finally found him a half hour later sitting on a bench outside the local gas station.

"Oh my god, Jared." I said, more to myself, and ran over to the bench, automatically sitting and hugging him. He was still crying, and so was I.

"Don’t do that again, Jared, please." I said into his shoulder.

"I couldn’t take it anymore. I was about to knock him out." He leaned away from me and wiped his cheeks. "I’m seriously thinking about leaving the band."

My jaw dropped. "What? But, Jared.. Why?"

"It’s just getting ridiculous. Eric always harping on me, the stress, everything. I’ve had enough."

"Jared, please don’t do this. We need you. Everyone counts on you. We can’t just replace you like that. I can’t even think about replacing you."

He didn’t say anything. He didn’t even make eye contact with me. He just kept staring at the damp ground.

"Everyone is tempted to quit a band because of stress and other members, but they have to be strong and make it through. If they make it through the toughest parts, then the rest should be a breeze. You just have to tough it out." I said, joining him in staring at the ground. I really didn’t want him to leave.

"I’ve tried, Beau. I’ve been toughing it out for a while, and it just isn’t working for me."

"Jared, you can’t do this to the band. To us." I said, getting the urge to start sobbing again.