Could Tell a Love 2

While we were all sitting on the couch, content with watching Pimp My Ride, I felt some tension still in the air between Eric, Jared, Daniel and I, Jared more than anything. He seemed to still be angry at Eric for going after Daniel like that. I grabbed his hand and squeezed it, smiling at him. He smiled back and kissed my forehead.

"Are you okay?" I whispered so only we could hear each other.

He gave me a half smile. "I could be better. I’m still so pissed at Eric for doing that."

"But you heard our talk. His dad sexually abused him when he was a kid, and sometimes he can’t help it. And you heard how heartbroken he sounded when he was talking about it." I held his hand with both hands now, my body turned towards him.

"I know, it’s just..." He sighed. "I don’t know. Lets not talk about it, okay?"

I kissed him softly and smiled. "Okay."

We turned back to the TV and I noticed Daniel looking at us, well, he was. He turned his head as we turned ours. So he was a nosy one. I sighed and rested my head on Jared’s shoulder, cuddling into him, my knees to my chest. I didn’t feel like being around all these people. I needed some alone time with Jared. There seems to not be a lot of that lately. The non-physical alone time, that is.

I elbowed him softly. "Hey, you wanna go home? I don’t feel like being here anymore."

"Sure, lets go." We got off the couch and said bye to everyone and left.

"So why’d you wanna leave?" Jared asked while we walked to the car.

"I could feel something bad brewing between you, Eric, and Daniel, and I didn’t want it to. I just needed to leave. The tension was killing me. Daniel was mad at Eric for lying to him, and you’re mad at Eric for flirting with him, and Eric’s depressed that he can’t control himself..just lots of strong emotions." I explained, opening my door and getting in.

"Not mad, just...disappointed. He knew better, and that’s all there is to it." Jared said simply, getting on his seatbelt and messing with my iPod.

I sighed, putting the car in drive. "I know, and I think some of this behavior is my fault. I was a horrible parent for the first few months." I cringed slightly, trying not to remember my days as an alcoholic. Sometimes I wonder why Eric even stayed with me, seeing as how his dad was just as bad as me.

"I can’t see you as a horrible parent." Jared said, not believing me.

"I am when I would down a case of beer in two hours." I said in a monotonous voice.

Jared looked at me with wide eyes. "But you hardly drink."

"That’s now, before I met you, when Eric was still in high school, it was terrible. I’d spend more money on booze then I could afford to. That’s why Eric had to get a job, so he could help pay bills and for my booze addiction. When I took in Katie, I could barely afford to keep myself fed. All I cared about was if I was gonna get my booze fill for the day. I was literally rotting away. That’s why I couldn’t keep Eric and Katie with me anymore. I needed to get help. They couldn’t live the lifestyle I was living. It wasn’t right." I said, resisting the urge to let the tears fall from my eyes. "I hate that I remember all this. I wish I would’ve been one of those forgetful drunks that didn’t remember shit. I feel so horrible."

"I still think you did the right thing, in the end. You got Eric and Katie to a safe home and they got what they needed, and you got help. And now you’re all better, no longer an alcoholic." He smiled at me. "I’m proud of you."

When I smiled at what he said, the tears leaked out of the corner of my eyes. I wiped them immediately. "I love you so much, Jared."

I pulled into the driveway and put the car in park, turning the key. I looked at him and he was smirking. "I love you more."

I laughed. "I love you more than that."

"Oh yeah? How about we settle this inside?" Jared asked, running his hand through my hair, giving me his seductive face.

I almost melted, but kept my cool. "Alright, lets do it." We both got out of the car and ran into the house, settling ourselves on the couch. Jared continued with our argument.

"So you think you love me more than I love you, huh?" He asked.

"I don’t think I do, I know I do." I assured him.

"Well, I love you more than that." He said, quiet and sexy.

I suddenly kissed him passionately (meaning extreme passion), holding the sides of his face. When we both parted for air, I asked, "You love me more than that?"

My hand was positioned on the back of his neck, our lips half a centimeter apart. Jared smiled. "Beau, you have no clue how much more I love you."

"Then do you wanna give me some ideas so I could figure it out?" I asked in a whispery voice.

He kissed me. "I don’t want to give away all my secrets."

"You don’t have to. I think I’ll be able to figure it out."

Jared fell on top of me and started kissing up and down my neck.

I laughed when he started feeling up my shirt. He looked at me funny. "What? Ticklish spot?"

"Well, yes, but I was just remembering that I didn’t wanna do anything tonight. I just wanted to hang out. I guess that plan went down the tubes, huh?"

"But it’s not all bad, right? We don’t have to go all the way...just some of the way." He smiled, drawing circles on my chest.

I smiled and kissed him. "I guess this is true."

Jared’s phone interrupted our make out session. We looked at each other for a second, laughing, then Jared got up and answered his phone.

"Hello?" He answered. Lots of talking. Jared gasped. "Oh my god, really?" And this wasn’t a good "oh my god really". It sounded like something bad happened.

"How did she know...oh my god. Is she okay?" More talking. "Do you want us to come over there and...alright, we’ll be over there soon." Jared flipped his phone down. "Oh my god." He fell on the couch, his face in his hands. "I told him not to...you told him not to. Why would he have done that?! God damn you, Eric!" Jared punched the arm of the couch.

"Jared, Jared. It’s okay. What happened?" I asked, trying to calm him down.

"Miranda went over to Matt’s house and found...them...together. Like, together-together. Like me and you making out just a few minutes ago together." Jared said, panicking and shaking. Jared fell into my chest and cried. I felt tears on my cheeks as well.

"Why would he promise me that he wouldn’t get back with him and get back with him anyways? On the same day. I don’t know, maybe they’re meant for each other, since they both seem to not know how to do what’s best for the both of them." I said, feeling more anger than sadness. "We have to go. Now."

"Okay." Jared said. I pulled him out the door with me at a run. I sped to Matt’s house and, thank god, everyone was still there. I noticed Miranda’s car parked on the street. I stormed out of the car and into the house.

"Beau, Jared!" Miranda said, already balling. She immediately ran into me, hugging me tightly. She went to Jared next, and I went to find Eric, who I found standing outside. I went out by him.

"Eric. What the fuck do you think you were doing?" I asked, my suppressed anger all coming out now.

He didn’t say anything, just crossed his arms and looked at the ground. I grabbed his shoulder and turned him to face me. I made him look me straight in the eyes. "Eric. Answer my question. What the fuck do you think you were doing?"

"Not giving a fuck. That’s what I was doing. I didn’t care if Miranda saw what I was doing. I didn’t care if it’s ‘wrong’ to like Daniel in the way I do. I accept that yes, I’m a man whore, and no, nothing is going to change that. No matter how many pep talks or motivational speeches you preach to me, I’m not gonna change. I’m sorry I’m not the son you always wanted with the perfect girlfriend and the perfect little family. I’m sorry that I’m crushing your dreams of being a grandfather, and I’m sorry for ruining my life." He said coldly, stalking off, walking to who knows where. I wanted to run after him and sooth him, but my legs didn’t move. Maybe this is the way it’s supposed to happen. Maybe Eric’s meant to never have a steady relationship, and maybe I’m not supposed to do anything about it. I put my fist over my mouth and started crying. I leaned up against the side of the apartment building and balled my eyes out. The sun was setting, and the sky was beautiful. I covered my face with my hands and hid it in between my knees. I was a disgrace. I didn’t deserve to marvel in such a thing of beauty. Compared to that, I was a piece of worthless trash, waiting to be kicked by the next person who walks by. Why did I have to fuck up so bad? I could’ve done so much better...

"Eric, I need twenty bucks." I slurred, almost knocking over the table. I went into a hysterical laughter.

"You don’t need twenty bucks, you want twenty bucks." Eric said monotonously. We went through this routine almost daily.

"Just gimme the twenty." I held out my hand.

He sighed and pulled out his wallet, handing me what I wanted. "You’re not driving like that."

"Thanks for the ride." I said, throwing him the keys, almost losing my balance again.

Eric rolled his eyes and followed me out to the car. He held my arm for support so I wouldn’t fall over. He drove me to the gas station and I stumbled out of the car and went into the store, grabbed a case of beer and paid, letting them keep the change. I walked out and threw it in the backseat. "Drive."

Once we were home, I cracked open that case and downed two cans within ten minutes. Eric was in his room, doing whatever it was he did. I thought about calling Aaron, but then I remembered that he broke up with me two weeks ago. I guess I can’t keep anyone around.

"I’m going out. Be back whenever." Eric said, going out the door with the keys before I could say anything.

I shrugged and turned on the TV. Not long after I passed out on the couch, like usual.

I woke up with a massive hangover. I got up, staggering from the pain. "Eric, where are the aspirin?" I yelled.

When I got no answer I went to his room and opened the door, seeing more than Eric in his bed.

I sighed. "Brought another girl home?"

"Yeah, I did. And they’re in the cupboard above the stove." He said, sounding pissed.

"Alright, thanks." I closed the door and went to take 4 aspirin. I gulped them down with a little bit of the beer from last night and poured myself a bowl of cereal. Within five minutes of me checking on Eric, the girl that was in his bed was leaving. I ignored it and continued eating. Eric sat next to me, also with a bowl of cereal. "You’re not mad at me?"

"You’re a hormonal guy, it’s what you do." I said, opening the newspaper...

I beat my head on my knees, asking myself why. Why did I let it go? Why did I not notice any kind of pattern? Why wasn’t I a better father.

I cried harder, and the wind started to get cold against the side of my face, the tears making it colder. I tucked my knees tighter to my chest and closed my eyes, tears flowing out like water in a faucet. I heard the door open next to me, but didn’t look to see who it was. I didn’t want to know. I heard them sit down next to me. Why would they sit down by me, the most horrible person I know. I didn’t deserve anyone’s company right now. I felt their arms wrap around me, and I didn’t flinch or shoo them away. I leaned into them, eyes still closed. I was shivering, I realized, but only because he was really warm.

"It wasn’t your fault, Beau." I heard Daniel’s voice softly in my ear.

Hearing his voice brought back the anger I was feeling earlier. I leaned away from him, opening my eyes, and glared at him. "You promised."

He said nothing, sighing, getting up and going back into the house. Soon after someone else came out and immediately hugged me. They were also crying. "Oh, Beau." I heard Miranda say.

"Miranda." I whispered. "I’m so sorry he did this to you."

"Me too." She said weakly.

"He was gonna propose to you tomorrow, you know." I said, not sure if she wanted to hear that or not.

That seemed to make her cry harder, which made me cry harder. "Why would he ruin that?"

"I don’t know, Miranda." I sniffed. "But I feel like this is all my fault. All of it. The way he treated you, me, Daniel, all those other people...I let him get away with that kinda shit when he was younger. I didn’t give a fuck, I was a drunk. I had no future ahead of me."

Miranda said nothing.

"Do you wanna go inside?" I asked, composing myself a little better than I was before.

Miranda sniffled and nodded. We both got up and went back inside. As soon as Jared saw my face he immediately hugged me. "Are you okay?"

I shook my head. "Not this time."

He hugged me tighter. "We have to talk this out. Everyone. Where did Eric go?"

"Stormed off somewhere. I didn’t bother to follow him. He couldn’t have gotten far, though. He went on foot."

"I’m going to look for him." Miranda said, car keys in hand. "We need to talk. Alone."

"Alright, but call us when you find him, so we know he’s alright." Jared said, still hugging me. I wasn’t about to let go of him, that’s for sure.

"Okay, will do." She walked out the door and Jared and I walked into the living room where everyone else was sitting, silent. Daniel was staring at the ground and everyone looked to be shunning him. They all looked up at me and they rushed to me and Jared.

"Dude, are you okay?" Matt asked.

"What the hell happened out there?" Mike asked.

I didn’t answer anyone. I just glared at Daniel. I let go of Jared and sat on the couch next to him.

"You could’ve stopped that from happening, you know."

When he didn’t say anything, I continued. "It’s not like he controlled the whole situation. You could’ve had control, too."

"I know, Beau. I know I could’ve. But I didn’t. So stop talking in the past and focus on the present." Daniel said quietly, still not looking at anyone.

I sighed and we all sat in silence until Eric and Miranda came into the house. Miranda turned the corner with Eric, and they were both drenched. I guess it was raining outside.

"Obviously you did want me that bad, ‘cause you were gonna propose to me tomorrow. Propose marriage tomorrow. A bond of love and trust. I don’t see either in you right now." She said, throwing her purse on the floor, taking off her soaking wet sweatshirt.

Eric sighed and walked closer to her, stroking her cheek with his thumb, looking at her with considerate eyes. "I’m sorry. I really do love you, with everything I have."

Miranda crossed her arms. "You’re sure as hell ain’t showing it."

"I know I haven’t been, and I wanna change that. Start over."

"And how many times have you pulled that shit on me and broken it?"

"Too many times." Eric said, kissing her, tears falling down his face. Miranda grabbed his face.

They parted slowly. "And I’m willing to stop for you. You just need to help me through it. I can’t do it by myself." He wrapped his arms around her and planted his face in her shoulder.

"Don’t worry, Eric, I’ll help you. We’ll get through this." Miranda said, stroking his hair.

"Miranda?" Eric asked, lifting his head off her shoulder, leaving a wet spot where his hair was. He pulled something black and box like out of his pocket and got down on one knee.

Miranda gasped and almost fell over. Eric opened up the ring box and showed her the ring. It was absolutely gorgeous.

"Will you marry me?" Eric asked.

"Holy Jehovah Witnesses Batman , yes!" She said, jumping up and down, Eric slipping on the ring.

I heard Jared sniffle next to me while everyone, including myself and Jared, erupted into laughter. I looked at him and hugged him around his shoulders, smiling. He smiled at me. Obviously those tears were of joy.