Why Should You Care Now?

Sitting in front of her brother’s grave, Jordan’s eyes were red and puffy from all the tears she had shed that afternoon. It had only been one month since she watched as they buried her brother. A month since everything changed in her life, including her. One mistake was about to cost her for years. There was no way she was ready for this. Standing up and looking down at where his body was in a box under the dirt and grass, Jordan couldn’t help but let a few more tears fall down her face. With the back of her hand she wiped them away.

“After mom died, you made me a promise,” her voice was hoarse as she spoke. “You promised that you would always be here for me. You said I was bound to make a huge mistake, but you wouldn’t clean up my mess, you’d talk me through it. Well that time has come and you aren’t here. I need you. All of us do, because I can’t think of what I’m going to do now.”

The more she talked the more tears fell. For the hour that she had been there, she didn’t say a word, she just cried. “Corbin, I need you to tell what to do,” she told him not bothering to wipe the tears away from her face now. “The day after I found out that you died, I did the dumbest thing I could do. I got my ass really wasted and I slept with someone that treats me like I don’t belong to be anywhere near him. And now I am pregnant and he’s the father and I told him this morning after I went into the clinic for the second test. Oh god, Cor, what have I done?”

Feeling her black skirt blow before returning to just above her knees, Jordan hung her head in shame. Her white tee was covered up by her denim jacket. “I don’t know what I am going to do. How am I supposed to figure out what is right and how to do what I have to if you aren’t guiding me anymore?”

More tears fell from her face and she didn’t care. She was scared of what she was going to do. She knew her choice wasn’t only going to affect her life, but the life of those around her. With a deep breath, she walked up to the headstone and placed a single rose on the top before walking away. Taking deep breaths as she walked to where her car was parked, she didn’t know how she was going to get through tonight’s game against the Pittsburgh Penguins. Knowing she had hours to kill before going to the arena, she got into her car and headed home. She knew this was a conversation that she needed to have with Emmy, face to face and not over the phone.

Her eyes looked towards the grave she had just left before starting the car. She let out a long sigh before heading home. Jordan didn’t know what to expect, not in the least, not when it was something this big. The drive did nothing to help settle her nerves, but there was no relief for that. As soon as she pulled her car into the driveway, she half expected to see Sharpie’s car on the street. Thinking Jonathan had told everyone what she had called to tell him. Cutting the ignition she heard her phone go off. Grabbing it out of the passenger’s seat, she looked down at the caller ID. She saw Sharpie’s face on the picture that came up with the name and number. In the short time that she had known Patrick Sharp he had become her best friend. It was odd, but it worked for them. There was nothing but friendship in the regards to them. Rejecting the call, she put the phone in her bag before getting out of her car and walking up to the door.

“Emmy?” Jordan called out. “Are you home?”

All that answered her was silence. Walking towards the couch she saw Emmy’s sleeping form. Walking towards her room, she tossed her bag inside before checking Joey’s room. He was asleep in his bed with his shoes still on his feet. With a smile, Jordan closed his door and walked back to the living area where she heard CT making some noises. Emmy was still asleep, so as she walked over to the basinet, she looked at the baby and smiled at him before picking him up. Looking back to Emmy once more she noticed the bottle in her hand.

“So you just ate, huh?” she asked with a smile. “Well how about you come with me and we’ll find Aunt Jordan a snack. Maybe two.”

She knew CT wouldn’t be talking yet, but his smile reminded her so much of his daddy.”You, my dear nephew are going to be a great cousin, both you and your brother will be.”

“You’re pregnant?”

Spinning around, Jordan’s eyes met Emmy’s shocked ones. Jordan broke their little staring match, as she looked at CT for a second before nodding her head.

“Are you in a relationship that you haven’t told me about?”

“No,” Jordan said, her feet planted. “It was a one night thing. In a moment of weakness. If I had been in my right state of mind it wouldn’t have ever happened. But you know me, I don’t usually do that stuff.”

“Do you know who the father is?” Emmy asked as she walked over to Jordan.

Nodding her head, Jordan let Emmy take her baby boy from his aunt’s arms. “He’s one of the hockey players I massage,” Jordan said. “He’s the one that acts like a jerk whenever I’m around.”

“That’s a winner right there, Jordan,” Emmy said, her tone as sarcastic as could be. “So that’s why you went to talk to your brother?”

“Yeah,” Jordan admitted as she walked over to the fridge and opened it. “I told him.”

“And what did he say?”

“Well he didn’t call me a liar, yet, so maybe he’s changing, but I wouldn’t hold my breath on that one,” Jordan laughed. “But it doesn’t matter what he says or wants. This child is in my body, so doesn’t that make it my decision?”

“Yeah, but he helped put it there,” Emmy told him. “So I’m guessing that this happened after we found out about your brother?”

“It was the lowest point I’ve been at since Matthew died,” Jordan said. “Maybe I’m just cursed in the men department. I mean it’s got to be a sign if the men in my life die in the exact same way, only a few years apart?”

“You aren’t cursed,” Emmy told her. “Things will look up.”

“I hope so,” Jordan said. “Maybe I’ll get lucky and he’ll have kept this to himself and not told anyone yet.”

“What are the chances?”

“Slim.”

“Go take your nap; I’ll wake you in two hours if you aren’t up so you can get to work early.”

“Thanks, Em,” Jordan said. “I don’t know how I would do some things without you.”

“I feel the same way, Jord.”

After only getting half the sleep she was in her room for, Jordan fished her phone out of her bag once she gave up on the rest of her nap. For once her sleeplessness wasn’t caused by Joey screaming or CT’s crying, no this time it was about the fact that she was pregnant. She told the father of the baby, which was a struggle to do since it was so hard to be civilized when it seemed every other thing he said to her was an insult. But that didn’t matter anymore; she had to figure out if she would continue living in her brother’s house that he paid for with the inheritance that their mother gave all to him because she didn’t listen to her when she said to leave Matthew. No matter what, Jordan knew Matthew loved and she loved him. But now was not the time to be thinking of that. Looking at her phone she saw that Sharpie had left her a voice mail from the call she ignored when she came home from talking to her brother.

Lying back on her bed, she listened to the voice mail. It started out angry, but it softened up by the end. Patrick knew, which also meant the whole team probably knew. Jonathan Toews needed to learn to keep his big mouth shut. Why the hell was he telling everyone already? That was one thing she would never understand, men. Instead of calling him back, she sent him a quick text message telling him that she would talk with him at the arena before they got dressed. Not long after she sent it, she got a reply from him. He wanted her to park in the players’ parking lot. She sent nothing back. Jordan would never park there; she was fine parking in the structure with the other employees.

Sliding out of her bed she walked towards the door and headed to the kitchen. Emmy was surprised to see her awake. It looked like she wanted to ask something, but she didn’t. Walking towards the counter, she grabbed a cup out of the cupboard before taking the white grape juice out of the fridge. “I thought you’d be asleep still.”

“I tried to fall back asleep,” Jordan said as she sat at the table. “Too much on my mind.”

“Like what?”

“Where I’m gonna live, will I get fired?”

“Do you see yourself with him down the line before or even after the baby is born?” Emmy asked.

“Not at this point I don’t.”

“Then you and your baby are welcome to live here,” Emmy smiled. “What we have is really good and I don’t think I could ever find someone that can handle Joey’s temper tantrums as well as you do.”

“That’s because I had the same one when I was a kid,” Jordan laughed. “Corbin was the one that kept me in line when I was a kid. What he used to say was I wasn’t a kid, I was born a monster that came along to test his limits.”

“Yeah, that sounds like Corbin, alright.” Emmy said with a small smile on her face.

“I guess I need to get ready for tonight.”

“Don’t fret about anything, your brother used to say things always have a way of working out in the end.”

Noticing Joey wasn’t around; she gave her sister-in-law a confused look. “Where is Joey?”

“He’s having a slumber party with one of his friends,” Emmy smiled. “So it’s just me and CT tonight until you come home. We know you aren’t going to be a party animal and go drinking because you now have the bun in your oven.”

“Those saying suck,” Jordan told her. “I mean, what are they trying to tell you? How fat you’re gonna get in a few short months?”

Emmy laughed as she watched Jordan make her way to her room before stopping and high tailing it to the bathroom and slamming it behind her. That was one thing she never had both the times she was pregnant. But it looked like Jordan was going to be in for a long pregnancy, but at least she knew she had her family by her side.

After leaving for work, Jordan turned around and went back home when she realized she forgot her pass and her cell phone on the kitchen table. Shutting off the engine, she rushed inside and grabbed her stuff. Emmy waved at her again for the second time as she left. Knowing she was running behind, didn’t make Jordan go any faster, instead she took the back roads since she knew there would be a ton of traffic and she didn’t have the time to sit in traffic. Some people went to work to get away from their problems, but not her. Jordan had to find somewhere to hide if she wanted to avoid problems. One problem mainly and his name was Jonathan Fucking Toews.

Parking and locking it up, Jordan flashed her badge to the security guards that didn’t even look since they knew who she was. With a sigh of relief at the time, five minutes ahead of what she had thought. As quickly as she could she made her way through the visiting side where the Pittsburgh Penguins seemed to be milling around doing their pregame stuff.

“Are you supposed to be in this area?” a voice asked.

Turning on her heel, Jordan looked at the person who was talking to her. Mario Lemieux was standing in front of her. He wasn’t glaring at her, but merely curious why someone in Blackhawks gear was on this side of the locker room. “I’m Jordan Taylor,” she said sticking her hand out to shake his, which he accepted. “I’m the massage therapist for the Blackhawks. I was running behind today so I used the visitors’ entrance so I wouldn’t take so long to get to my office. I’m sorry if I’m throwing you off of your pregame stuff that was never my intention.”

“I was just making sure you knew where you were,” he smiled. “It’s nice to meet you Jordan. Is that a tattoo?”

Looking down at her wrist, Jordan smiled. “In memory of my brother. He died, so I am going to keep him alive as long as I can.”

“I’m sorry for your loss.”

“Thanks,” Jordan said. “I really should get going. “It was really nice to meet you. But I need to check into work and actually do what needs to get done.”

“Have a good evening.”

“You, too.”

With a smile on her face, she couldn’t help but look back and grin. She couldn’t believe she had just met Mario Lemieux and she didn’t say anything stupid. At least she didn’t think she did. Making her way as fast as she could she passed by the locker room that contained the Blackhawks. Well most of them, a few were always lingering about. As she reached her office she heard something that shocked the hell out of her.

“JT! Is Tazer really the baby’s daddy?” Adam Burish yelled.

Jordan’s face fell.

He had told everyone.