My Passions's Dead...

"You miscarried....I'm sorry, Ms. Barone and Mr. Radke."

Ronnie screamed and grabbed at his hair, pulling tightly. "The one thing I wanted.....the one thing that could have motivated to get me clean and to help me stay clean......and it's gone. God just fucking rips it away from me, just like that!" He punched the wall and the nurses in the room jumped a bit.

"Ronnie, calm down...." I whispered.

"CALM DOWN?! OUR UNBORN CHILD JUST DIED, HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO CALM DOWN?!?" He screamed in my face.

"I DON'T KNOW, BUT YELLING AND PUNCHING THINGS ISN'T GONNA MAKE IT ANY BETTER!" I screamed back, my voice cracking. He stormed out of the room and the nurses looked at me sympathetically.

"Think of it this way, hun; at least he actually cared and wanted your baby. Sometimes when girls your age come in here with their boyfriends and they find out they've miscarried, the guy always looks so relieved." I nodded my head and looked down at my stomach.

"Can I leave now...?" They allowed me to leave, but not after telling me what I was going to be experiencing for the next week or two of the miscarry. Afterwords I walked out of the hospital to see Ronnie smoking a cigarette, his eyes red from crying.

"So what'd they say?" He mumbled as he took another drag from his cigarette.

"Just that I'm gonna be bleeding a lot for the next week or two.....that's the fetus coming out......" Ronnie closed his eyes and I saw tears streaming down his cheeks. I stood there and waited for him to finish his cigarette before he stood up and lead me over to his dad's car.

"I'm so sorry, Annabelle....." Mr. Radke said. I smiled sadly and quietly thanked him as I climbed into the backseat, Ronnie following me. I sat all the way on the other side, trying to be as far away from Ronnie as possible.

The car ride home was quiet and awkward, as I had assumed it would be. But once Ronnie and I got in the house and up to his room, it was anything but quiet.

"Why were you trying to like, be as far away from me in the car as you possibly could?" Ronnie asked, annoyed.

"I don't like sitting very close to cheaters, that's why." I mumbled.

"Goddammit, I said I was so-"

"And I said sorry doesn't fucking cut it!" He narrowed his eyes at me. "Seriously Ronnie, how many times have you cheated on me?"

"Like, 2 times, I swear to god! I don't know where the hell you got that I had a new whore sucking my face off every night!" I rolled my eyes.

"Well when you have Bryan telling you everything that goes on when you're out partying...you kind of get the idea." Ronnie's eyes widened.

"AND YOU BELIEVE EVERYTHING HE SAYS?!" He laughed, almost sarcastically. "Just because Bryan says something doesn't mean it's fucking true! Fuck, just because ANYONE says ANYTHING doesn't mean it's true!"

I sighed angrily and sat down on the bed.

"Look, I'm sorry. I really am. You know I love you, Anna, you know that." He pronounced the last 3 words carefully as he sat down next to me. "You're my world, my everything. You changed me."

"Obviously not, since you're still partying and getting high and fucking sluts behind my back!" I yelled, standing up.

"For the love of god, Annabelle, I'm a FUCKING DRUG ADDICT! I CAN'T JUST QUIT LIKE THAT!" He snapped his fingers in front of my face standing up. I slapped his hand away and pushed him hard,

"WHAT DOES DRUGS HAVE TO DO WITH YOU CHEATING ON ME, HUH?! EXPLAIN THAT ONE!!!" I screamed.

"WHEN YOU'RE ON DRUGS, AND UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF DRUGS AND ALCOHOL, 99 PERCENT OF THE TIME, YOU'RE NOT REALLY GONNA MAKE THE BEST FUCKING DECISIONS!" He screamed right in my face.

"THEN FUCKING GET HELP, RONALD!!!" I screamed as loud as I could. The next thing I felt was a SMACK to my face and a hard shove into the wall.

"When I want help, I'll get it!" I rolled my eyes at him.

"What happens when you overdose? Huh? It'll be too fucking late then!!"

"YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU NEED TO JUST FUCKING SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND STAY OUT OF MY GODDAMN BUSINESS!"

"DON'T FUCKING TALK TO ME LIKE I'M YOUR SLAVE OR SOME SHIT, I'M SAYING THIS STUFF BECAUSE I CARE ABOUT YOU!! I'M ONLY YELLING AT YOU ABOUT GETTING HELP BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, BUT YOU SEE TOO FUCKING BLIND TO EVEN NOTICE THAT!!"

Ronnie reached in his hoodie pocket and pulled out a gun. I froze right in my spot when he pointed it at me.

"I don't want help. Why?" He slowly pointed the gun to his head. "Because it's too fucking late. Annabelle." I opened my mouth, but nothing would come out. I felt like I was being choked.

"I'm sorry, Anna. I love you."

He put his index finger on the trigger and pulled it, quickly and painlessly.

"RONNIE, NO!!!"