Between You and I

After a year of touring and having a great time with the guys, well most of them, I finally confronted Craig.
“I heard you were still talking shit about me.” I said as we were standing outside after a show.
Craig lit a cigarette. “What?”
“Don’t bullshit me, Craig, I know you know. Eric told me everything a while ago. Why are you still treating me like shit? It happened back in high school, it’s time to let it go. I know everyone else has.” I waved the smoke away from my face.
“You seem to be the only one that’s disapproving of my actions. I’ve gotten no other complaints.” Craig said nonchalantly, slight cockiness to his tone.
“So that means it’s okay? And maybe they haven’t complained to you, but we complain to each other. We all have problems with you of our own. To sum it up, you’re pretty much just an ignorant jackass who only wants to get drunk and laid every night.” I said in a harsh tone.
Craig took a long drag from his cigarette before throwing it into the street. “Oh yeah, and where’s your proof?”
“Right here.” Jared’s voice scared me. I didn’t know they were standing behind us the whole time. “And Matt basically took the words out of our mouths. None of us could’ve said it any better.”
The cocky smirk was wiped right off his face. “So you’re kicking me out, as we’re on tour?”
“More than one of us is vocally talented. And yes, we’re kicking you out as we’re on tour.” Eric said.
“You guys are a bunch of assholes.” That’s the last thing Craig said before he started walking toward the nearest bus stop. At least we were in Arizona tonight so he didn’t have to cross different states just to get back home.
All four of us sighed.
“I feel a sense of freedom that I didn’t feel before.” Mike said.
“I think we all do.” Eric pointed out.
We finished packing up our equipment and got back on the road. We finished the tour with Eric doing vocals and our friend Aiden filling in for Eric on guitar. The second part of the tour was better than the first by far.
After touring, we were sitting around, bored.
“So, you think we should start looking for a new lead?” I brought up to the guys as I was cruising around myspace.
“It’d probably be a good thing to start doing.” Jared said.
I nodded and started posting bulletins and blogs and anything else I could think of to help inform everyone that we needed a new lead. Within two hours, we got hundreds of replies of people singing on video or audio clips of themselves. None of them really stood out to us as “the one” until about three hours later.
“Beau Bokan ...where have I heard that name?” I wondered out loud to myself while everyone else was looking at other options. “Hey, guys. Beau Bokan, ring a bell for anyone?”
“Dude, he’s the dude from Take the Crown! He’s amazing! They broke up a little while ago.” Mike said.
I took his word for it and played the audio clips, the first one being an actual song, most likely a Take the Crown song, and it literally blew me away. The second was him doing cover vocals for one of Craig’s songs. It was fucking beautiful.
“Guys, I think I found our new vocalist.” I said.
Everyone smiled.
“I think you’re right.” Eric said.
I emailed him and told him to come to Arizona, that he’s unofficially been crowned the new lead singer of Blessthefall. Not only was Beau excited for this, he said that he’d be here tonight.
I’m not gonna lie, Beau is damn good looking. I rarely say that about guys, but with him it’s just like...he’s irresistible, for lack of better terminology.
He looks so much better in person, though. He got to our house around 8, greeted by hugs, handshakes, and high fives. He immediately fit in and felt comfortable with us, which was a good sign.
“So why did Take the Crown split?” Mike asked.
“Everyone was wanting to do their own thing, they didn’t really want to be in a band anymore, so we went our separate ways. I still keep in contact with most of them to see how they’re doing. I was basically the only one that was still into being in a band, so when I saw that you guys were looking, I immediately jumped on the offer.” Beau explained. “And I’m glad I did. I can already tell we’re all gonna get along perfectly.”
“I’m glad you did, too.” Eric said, but it wasn’t his normal voice, more rather his “if you know what I mean/get in my pants” voice.
For some reason, that made me jealous. Insanely jealous. The thought of Eric flirting with another guy pissed me off, even if we weren’t together. He said he’d wait. Maybe I’ve kept him waiting too long and his patience is running out.
The rest of the night I was filled with paranoia and jealousy, but I hid myself well. No one questioned my mood.
My same mood persisted through the next couple days, and it started getting worse as time went on, because Eric would continue to flirt with Beau, even though I’m pretty sure he was straight.
I don’t even understand why I’m getting so protective over Eric, since we’re not even together or anything. Maybe it’s time that I “come around”, as Eric said and just accept the fact that I want to be with him. Ever since I transferred schools, I never had any sort of relationship with anyone, no matter how many times I was asked by girls. I always turned them down. I didn’t know why then, but maybe it’s because my hearts’ always belonged to Eric, just as Eric’s always belonged to me.
I still didn’t want to say anything, at least not in front of everybody, and since Eric was always hanging around Beau, we never got any alone time.
We finally got to be alone a few weeks later, while we were on the road. I thought I was going to explode from all my pent up emotions. All my jealousy, paranoia, love, and even denial was eating me alive.
Eric and I were sitting in the back of the van while everyone else was getting food in the gas station.
“So how have you liked touring so far?” Eric asked.
“It’s a lot better without Craig, I’ll tell you that much.” I said. I was trying to find the perfect moment, but none were coming up, and doing anything without any sort of outside motives would just be awkward.
“I know, I really like Beau, I think we’ve connected a lot.” Eric said.
“Mmm.” I said, not thrilled at all with that statement.
“You don’t seem very excited about that. Do you not like Beau or something?” He asked, turning to face me.
Without any control of my conscious mind, I leaned and kissed him, grabbing his face gently. I pulled away, slightly red.
Eric was shocked. “Where did that come from?”
“I’ve been jealous of how close you and Beau were getting, and I started worrying that what you said about me coming before anyone else wasn’t going to be true. I know I’m a dumbass for waiting so long, causing you all that pain and misery...” I rambled, finally letting all of my emotions free.
Eric hugged me, nuzzling his face between my shoulder and neck. “Matt, I’m sorry. Beau isn’t anything like you. We’re just friends, there could be nothing else between us. I would never go back on my word. Whether it took you this long or longer, I would’ve waited for you.” He said.
I leaned away and kissed him again. “After I left our school, I never had another girlfriend, because I was always thinking about you and what would’ve happened if I told you the truth back in junior year.”
“I think we would’ve been a lot happier, at least I would’ve been. I was heartbroken after you left, even though I was still mad at you for blaming everything on me.” Eric said.
I cuddled into his side as he put his arm around me. “I’m sorry. I was only thinking of myself. I didn’t think of anyone else and how they’d feel about me leaving. I’m such an ass...” I said, feeling guilty for everything.
Eric kissed the top of my head and caressed it with his free hand. “It’s okay, it’s over now. We’re together now, and that’s all that matters.” He said softly.
“Are we gonna tell the rest of the band?” I asked as I saw Mike come out of the gas station with Beau, finally. My heart almost stopped when I remembered that Jared didn’t go in with them because he was sleeping. Hopefully he didn’t hear any of this.
“Not yet, lets wait.” He said.
I sat up a little so they wouldn’t question us. I just felt like being close to Eric, since I haven’t allowed myself to do so ever since junior year. I was happy for the fact that it was dark out and that we had the whole backseat to ourselves.
“You took long enough, holy crap.” I said as the two of them opened their doors.
“Hey, there were a lot of decisions that had to be made.” Beau said, throwing Eric and I our Cokes that we asked for.
“Thanks.” We said.
The guys got into the van and we were on our way.
I scooted down into my cuddling position again, Eric holding my hand as his chest calmly rose and fell with the tempo of his breathing. It was so relaxing.
I closed my eyes, not wanting to totally fall asleep, but sleep seemed to be taking me under. I opened my eyes halfway and strained my neck to kiss Eric’s jaw line and whisper, “I love you.”
He kissed the top of my head and rested his on mine. “I love you, too.”
With those words, I feel asleep on Eric’s chest, still holding his hand, feeling the happiest I’ve ever felt in a while.