Everybody's Singing Like They're Crazy In Love

When I arrived at Courtney’s house, my stomach flipped inside and I regretted everything bad I’d ever said about her. The ambulance was out the front and she was hooked up to every tube and machine that you could think of. She was literally dying. And I felt like the biggest bitch having told Alex to stay away. But I still didn’t want him to help.
I sat down with Courtney and she told me about her treatment, said that she was use to it now and was slightly hopeful that she’d pull through. I don’t know why I did what I did next, but I told her everything about Alex and myself. What happened after she left, how I was the only thing keeping him alive and that fact that Alex was an absolute mess. I don’t know what made me open up to her, nor do I understand how it would change everything. But it gave her an understanding of my side of the story.
“I really don’t want Alex to help you, I know it makes me sound like the most selfish person around, when I can clearly see that you’re in pain and you just need someone around to talk to. But Alex has changed, his not who he use to be, he honestly hasn’t been to a party in the last 6 months, hasn’t even got drunk and all his focus has been on me, I know that makes me sound like a bitch and that I’m only telling him not to come here because his attention would be shifted, but that’s not true. I don’t want to see him get hurt again, somehow you still have this grasp on him, like no matter what he does, if anything happens with you he’d come to you in a heartbeat and save you”
“He’d do that for you too though, and anyone of his friends, especially people he cares about. He has a good heart Holly, he’s not out to hurt you and I’m not out to hurt you or him either. But I can see where you’re coming from and I completely understand” Courtney said, being understandable was one thing, keeping a promise was another.
“I get that, but I still don’t trust you, put the cancer beside. If you didn’t have it you wouldn’t have come back, you wouldn’t be here. Because you don’t have any other reason for us to accept you or even consider being nice to you again, call me a bitch or whatever you want. I don’t want Alex near you” I replied getting quite clear with my message.
“I’m sorry you feel that way, and yes you’re right, if I didn’t have cancer I wouldn’t have bothered to come back, cause even with cancer, no one is willing to give me a second chance” She replied honestly.
“Why don’t you let me help you?” I offered.
“What?” She asked in disbelief.
“Let me be the person you talk to, I can take you out go shopping with you get you groceries and cook a few meals, set you up for a few weeks and come again in a month” I explained my compromise.
“Holly, seriously I’m not asking for you to become an in house nurse, I can do most stuff myself” She replied.
“Look let me do this and we’ll call it even. No mention from what happened with Alex and no more guilt trips and black mail?” I suggested.
After about another half an hour I managed to get her to agree with me, I think it was going to take longer for me to come to terms with what I just said. I couldn’t believe that I’d offered to help the one person that meant absolutely nothing to me, and never would. I spent some more time with her talking about everything with her. If I was going to look after her, she could know everything. I felt as though the more time I spent with her the more I wish things turned out differently we could’ve been really good friends, and spent sometime together. But I doubt whether that will happen now.
Just wait till Alex finds out, that’s going to be a long and hard talk to explain, just thinking about it made me cringe. I left Courtney’s house once she’s shown me around, telling me what her diet was like and how she received her medication and where everything was placed in case of an emergency.

I decided that I’d go see dad, I needed to tell someone other than mum all the time and dad and I had become really close after the other whole incident and I could still see that he wants to move back to Australia, even I wouldn’t mind moving back for a while, maybe until college started. It was something that I might talk to him about tonight.

I parked my car in the driveway and walked up the driveway, opening the door and letting myself in. I walked into the kitchen/ living area and was greeted by dad and his fiance Julia. I hadn’t really got to talk to Julia before and we’d only briefly been introduced.
“Holly, what a delightful surprise to see you” Dad gushed as he removed his eyes from the television and made his way towards me, bringing me into a tight hug.
“How have you been?” He asked.
“Uhh, that’s a tough question, I’ve been better that’s for sure” I replied taking a seat at the kitchen bench and waving to Julia as she turned her attention back to whatever was on the television.
“What’s happened now, I swear kids these days have a much more interesting teenage life than I ever did.” He said starting to babble on about nothing relevant to the conversation I was about to start with him.
“It’s about Alex” I said.
“What about him, he didn’t make you do anything you”
“No, dad no. Courtney is back in town. And she has cancer” I replied.
“What? For real? Courtney as in ‘I like destroying people’s happiness’ Courtney?” He asked
I nodded my head and continued to feel him in on the event that happened earlier this day. By now Julia was insanely interested in the drama in my life and had switch off the television and placed herself next to me on the stool.
“What do you think Alex should do?” Dad asked.
“Well I went to see Courtney and made a compromise with her, I told her to tell him to stay away from her, in replace have me become her carer, that way Alex knows what’s going on. And nothing is kept from me” I explained.
“And how does Alex feel about this?” Dad asked.
“He doesn’t know,” I replied
“Holly, you can’t just go and make a decision like that and not consider what Alex might be feeling right now. Courtney was a big thing in his life, and if she’s willing to come back. He’s probably willing to forgive and forget and help her” Dad said a little concerned as to what Alex reaction would be like.
“I know, I know, everything has been replaying in my head since I saw her walk through the café doors, I don’t know what else I can do to make anything better, and let me sleep at night, knowing that everything is okay, although everything just got tipped upside down” I replied tears slowly forming in my eyes. I held them in not wanting to break down in front of dad, little own Julia of all people.
“I don’t think you can blame yourself if anything did go wrong though Holly. Alex is a strong man, a lot stronger than what he use to be because of you. I don’t think what ever you’ve said to Courtney is going to go down well with Alex at all” Dad said.
“But if Alex is the type of guy that your dad makes him out to be, maybe he’ll thank you in the long run, for not just chucking in the towel and not creating that option for him to have some idea of what’s going on” Julia added. She made a good point, I was already becoming fond of her.
“Yeah I know, he just won’t like the way I went about it, and he may not want to speak to me. Or he won’t speak very nicely too me if he goes and sees Courtney tomorrow. I just can’t bring myself to tell him, I know its mean and I should be able to, considering it’s my idea. But I don’t want to hurt him anymore than I already have today. I think I might just go to bed and speak to you guys in the morning.” I replied.
“Okay sweetie, just remember that we’re both here for you” Dad said as Julia nodded in agreement.
I kissed them both goodnight and made my way up the staircase and into my room on the right. I couldn’t help but spend hours on end replaying everything that was said and wasn’t said that day. I had a feeling that something else was coming as well, and it would most likely tare my family apart.