Going Alone

The car ride was silent, oddly enough. I thought it would be different, I don’t know, maybe loud since there’s a newborn baby in my backseat? Alex opted to sit in the back, staring at Marshall the whole way, ignoring my small talk and random comments. I don’t think he ignored them on purpose, I think he was just caught up with Marshall. How delicate, how fragile he is. I quietly pulled into my parking spot for my apartment complex and turned the car off. Leaning into the headrest, I sighed and closed my eyes. This was going to be the first time Marshall was going to be home. I hoped he likes it. What am I saying? He’s a baby, he could care less.

“What are you doing?” Alex asked, pulling back on my seat.

“Oh, just thinking what we’re having for dinner.” I lied smoothly, getting out and taking the car seat out of it’s holder.

“How about we order in?”

“How about I don’t have any money for that?”

“I can pay.” Alex said, closing the door for me.

“No, it’s fine. I can just cook something up.”

Alex rushed ahead of me and got the door leading into my apartment complex, “I want to.”

I stopped and pursed my lips at him, contemplating, “Fine. Just get whatever.”

He nodded triumphant manner and walked behind me, getting the doors whenever needed. By the time we got to my door, I heaved the door open and rushed to set Marshall down. Alex gave me a quizzical look, but I just waved him off.

“How about you carry about 30 pounds on one arm for like 3 minutes!”

“Um, yeah, I’ll go order the food. Do you want Chinese?”

“Sure.” I nodded and got Marshall carefully out of his car seat and placed it by the door, “Welcome home!”

------------------------------

“This is really good, thank you.” I smiled at Alex and ate some more fried rice.

“You’re welcome.” He smiled back and looked at Marshall.

Currently, he was swaddled and laying between us. He was in a state of half-consciousness, and I wasn’t complaining. The longer he goes without fussing is the happier I will be. It’s not like I hate him already or something, it’s just that I want to prolong my personal time, I guess is what you would call it.

“He looks like you.” I said quietly, looking down at Marshall.

“No, I think he looks like you.”

“No, you just wait and see. He’s totally looks like you.”

“He has you nose.”

“So? I have my Dad’s nose but I look more like my Mom.”

He was quiet for a minute, then smiled and shrugged, “I guess that couldn’t hurt.”

In turn, I smiled at his pride and beamed myself. Suddenly, Marshall flinched and started crying. We looked at each other, scared senseless. I slowly put my box of take out of the table in front of us and picked him up. His cry was, to say the least, deafening. It was like a needy cry. It made my stomach churn and pang. I quickly took his blanket off and checked his diaper. Dry.

“His diaper’s dry!” I panicked, looking to Alex quickly.

“Maybe he’s hungry!” Alex wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

My face dropped and I glared at him. Flipping him off, I walked into Marshalls room and closed the door as quickly and quietly as I could. Sitting down into the nursing chair, I sighed and pulled down my shirt.

-------------------------------

“Are you done?” Alex knocked on the door quietly.

“Yes.” I said, quickly pulling my shirt and bra up.

He jumped into the room and looked at me expectantly, “What, no peep show?”

“Get out you perv!” I heaved myself up, taking great care to not drop Marshall, “For that comment, you can burp him.”

“I don’t know how!” He whined, stomping his foot.

“Just sit down and pat on his back gently.” I said, gently placing Marshall in his arms.

I left the room, to resume getting my eat on, and flopped back into the couch. I let out a content sigh, and dug back into the fried rice. Not a moment sooner I heard Marshall spit up and Alex shriek.