Under Jersey Skies

Frank stops his minivan at my house, at the end of my driveway, and Gerard and I get out. The porch light is on, and the front door is open, Dad’s standing there, with a frown on his face and his arms folded. Gerard walks me up the driveway, but stops before the porch.

“I’ll call you tomorrow, take it easy Jackie” he says, giving me a hug.
“You too Gerard” I say as we pull away from each other.

Gerard’s face is still stained with the dry tracks of his tears, and he’s still not smiling. I brush my hand over his shoulder and down his arm in an attempt to comfort him, grabbing his hand when I reach it and quickly squeezing it. Then I let go and walk towards the door.

“Get inside, go straight to bed, I’ll talk to you in the morning” Dad says in a disappointed voice.

I walk past him with my head hanging down in shame, and grab the railing of the staircase, slowly climbing the stairs. I reach my room and open the door, taking off my jacket and throwing it to the side, I collapse onto my bed and pull the covers tight around me. I close my eyes, and within minutes I’ve fallen asleep.

***

I wake to the blinding sunlight from my bedroom window, the pink curtains are already drawn, which tells me Dad’s already been in here. I roll over to face my alarm clock, it’s 12:30. Deciding it’s about time I got out of bed, I throw the covers back and sit up. My head’s spinning a little, oh joy, a hangover. I lift myself off my bed and start towards my bedroom door, it’s already open and I climb down the staircase, taking a right through the archway to the kitchen.

Dad’s sitting at the table, face behind the morning paper again, he doesn’t even lower it when I walk in. Instead of having toast like I normally would every morning, I go over to the cupboard and get out the box of Froot Loops and the Milo. I grab a cup from the cupboard under the microwave, and pour milk into it.

“You’re 16, but you still enjoy having your Froot Loops with Milo in the milk don’t you?” Dad says.

I stop suddenly, and a smile forms on my face, at least he’s still talking to me.

“Yeah, why not?” I say.

I put the cup of milk into the microwave and set the timer for two minutes, then go back over to another cupboard and grab a bowl, and pour some Froot Loops into it.

“I didn’t say you couldn’t” Dad laughs.
“It’s nice, better than having boring milk anyway” I say.
“Okay” Dad says, shaking his head with a smile on his face, he goes back to reading the paper.

The timer goes off, and I take the milk out of the microwave, stir some Milo into it, and then pour it into my cereal bowl. I then grab the orange juice out of the fridge, and pour some into a glass, before grabbing both glass and bowl and carrying them over to the kitchen table, and sitting down across from Dad.

“Jackie, what’s happened to you?” Dad says, lowering the paper.
“What do you mean?” I ask, scooping up some Froot Loops in my spoon and eating them.
“You’ve changed” he says.
“What? How have I changed?” I ask.
“First you go from being blonde to having black and pink hair, your clothing style has changed, when you used to wear whatever, you never used to care much about it” Dad explains.
“Ever think maybe I’m growing up?” I say.
“Yeah, I know, you’re 16 now, you’re not a child anymore” Dad says.
“Exactly” I say.
“Then there’s your music” Dad continues.
“What about my music?!” I snap, dropping my spoon into the cereal bowl.
“What happened to your Hilary Duff, Delta Goodrem, Jessica Simpson and Kaci Brown stuff?” Dad asks.
“I’m into different stuff now Dad” I say, picking up my spoon again and continuing to eat.
“I can see that, but the screaming, the sad lyrics, what’s going on Jackie?” Dad argues, with a worried look on his face.
“What’re you talking about? Sad lyrics? Dad, do you even LISTEN to the lyrics?” I snap, dropping my spoon again.
“No-” Dad starts
“Exactly” I cut him off.
“Okay, whatever but can I ask just one thing?” Dad says.
“What?” I reply, annoyed.
“Why did you lie to me about staying at Jess’s house? Why did you go behind my back and go to that party?” Dad starts.
“Because I knew you wouldn’t let me go” I mumble.
“What’s that?” Dad asks.
“I said because I knew you wouldn’t let me go” I say a little louder this time so Dad can actually hear me.
“And why do you think that is?” Dad asks me.
“Because of the drugs and alcohol” I say.
“Exactly Jackie, I was protecting you” Dad says.
“I’m not a kid anymore Dad!” I snap.
“You’re not an adult either!” Dad snaps back.
“I can make my own decisions!” I argue.
“You can’t do it responsibly Jackie!” Dad replies.
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!” I snap.
“You went to that party last night, you got half drunk and started making out with some boy you barely know, Jessica got drunk and nearly jumped off the roof and killed herself!” Dad explains.
“What would you know? You weren’t there!” I argue.
“The cops rang me” Dad says.
“Well whatever, you can’t control me Dad, I make my own decisions, I live my own life!” I snap.
“There’s no getting through to you is there? Alright, you wanna prove to me you’re responsible? Well how about you start learning that actions have consequences, you’re grounded for a week!” Dad says.
“What?!” I complain.
“Go to your room” Dad replies.
“But Dad-” I start.
“Now Jackie” Dad cuts me off.
“Fuck you Dad” I say, getting up from my chair and storming out of the room.
“You wanna make that a month?!” Dad calls after me.

I climb the stairs until I reach my room, and slam the door behind me.

***

Later that night, the phone rings, but I can’t answer it, I’m not allowed out of my room unless it’s to use the bathroom or eat.

“Hello?” I hear Dad answer from out in the hallway.
“I’m sorry Gerard, but Jackie’s grounded, so she can’t talk” Dad says into the phone.
“Alright, bye Gerard” Dad replies after a moments pause, and hangs up the phone.

I roll over on my bed, to see that my Blindside shirt is still hanging on a handle on my wardrobe door. I think of Jessica, and suddenly begin to worry about her, a lot.

“I sure hope she’s okay” I whisper to myself.

I close my eyes and the events of the night before replay in my head like a movie.

“I HATE YOU!” shrieks Jessica, throwing her bottle at me.

Jessica gets up and lunges at me, kicking me, punching me, scratching me, pulling my hair.

“YOU. FILTHY. DIRTY. BOYFRIEND STEALING SLUT! I TRUSTED YOU! YOU CAN FORGET ABOUT OUR FRIENDSHIP JACKIE JAMES!” Jessica screams.

Gerard is sitting in the gutter on the side of the road, crying. I sit down beside him, and take his hand. He throws his arms around me and cries, wailing like a helpless child. Ray and Mikey help me pull Gerard to his feet. Frank gets into his minivan and starts the engine. I help Ray and Mikey help a distraught Gerard into the van, and Bob gets in after us, sliding the door shut. Frank puts his foot down on the gas, and we slowly drive away.

My eyes snap open as the sound of “When I’m With You” by Simple Plan fills my ears, and roll over to answer my phone before Dad remembers that I still have that to talk to people on.

“Hello?” I answer.
“Hey Jackie, it’s me” says Gerard.
“Oh, hey” I reply.
“Heard you got grounded” Gerard says.
“Yeah, for a week” I say.
“That sucks” Gerard replies.
“Totally” I say.
“Hey, you wanna meet up at the park tomorrow?” Gerard asks me.
“I wish I could, but remember, I’m grounded Gerard” I reply.
“You could sneak out” Gerard suggests.
“Yeah, look where that’s gotten me so far” I say.
“Hmm, you’re right, I guess I’ll just have to wait until Monday to see you then” says Gerard.
“Yeah” I reply.
“Ok, well, Mikey and I were about to go out for some Starbucks, so I gotta go” Gerard explains.
“Okay, bye Gerard, say hi to Mikey for me, and take care of yourself” I say.
“Yeah I will, you too Jackie, goodbye” says Gerard, and hangs up.

I put my mobile back down on my side table, and look at my digital alarm clock: 10:30.

I may as well go to bed.

I roll over, and slowly but surely fall asleep once more...