Nineteen

The place was packed like it always was on a Saturday night. The band that was playing was good but they weren't Pencey. It almost felt like I was back at The Reverb in New York, the synchronization under flashing lights was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, besides Frank, and tonight it was a replay of that trip. I thought The Bovine would never be as energetic as The Reverb but I guess I was proved wrong. Mikey dragged me through the crowd towards the bar. My palms began to sweat a little out of nerves. I scanned the girls faces around the bar but none seemed the type Mikey would choose for me.

"There he is." Mikey said.

"He?" I squeaked. Out of the shadows he stepped and my breath caught in my throat. He was so beautiful. Screw the synchronization of people and lights, he seemed to glow like an angel. I could only stand and stare with my mouth open. I wasn't the only one who dressed up this evening. Eyeliner rimmed his beautiful eyes and his clothes were tight and neat. My eyes scanned lower as I took in his beauty, his jeans were so tight that I wondered if he was even wearing underwear.

"Oh for God sakes Gerard, he's not a piece of candy, quit drooling." Mikey rolled his eyes. I shut my mouth and swallowed nervously. "Go!" Mikey gave me a light push towards him. I stumbled forward until we were standing in front of each other. I still missed his spiky hair but the mini side bands looked so adorable!

"H- hi Frank." I stammered. He looked at the ground and smiled to himself.

"Hey Gerard."

"Listen, I'm so sorry for what happened last time and at the store... I wasn't thinking and-" he held his hand up.

"Your brother told me what happened but as for the store you're forgiven, all is fine." he smiled sweetly. I gaped at him, I bet I looked like a fish.

"What? How?"

"We both passed out and he just moved you himself, it wasn't your fault." he shrugged his small shoulders. He reminded me of a kid.

"But the store, I don't know why I said those things. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean any of them."

"Neither did I... except for the last one." he averted his eyes away from mine again. "I am gay." he whispered so I could hardly hear him. The music had stopped and the next band was setting up. "Listen, follow me where its quieter." he smiled. His smile was contagious, I smiled back. I followed him past people and towards a closed door. He opened it and I instantly recognized it as the extra lounge. It was for the bands but they preferred to be in the mirrored room when I first met Pencey Prep backstage. I looked around and heard the lock click. I turned around to see Frank had indeed locked the door. My heart fluttered nervously. This could go in a few different directions...

"So you're gay..." I trailed off.

"Yeah, what about you?" he sat down on one of the couches.

"Me?" I squeaked. Fuck, I don't know. "I don't know..." I replied honestly. I sat down across from him on another couch. He nodded with understanding.

"What do you feel?" he asked.

"About what?" I felt stupid. He giggled.

"What do find is sexier, guys or girls?" I thought about it for a moment. I really liked Frank, hell I didn't travel to NY for anything else. I never looked at girls in the same way.

"I guess guys..." I mumbled. Frank nodded again. My eyes focused on his. They were so beautiful.

"Would you like to try something?" he asked. I snapped out of my daze.

"Umm okay...?" he stood up and walked over to me. He sat beside and and we just sat for a moment. He brought his hand up and cupped my cheek gently. I sat motionless afraid to move.

"Relax." he smiled and leaned closer. He brought his face closer and closer until his lips met mine. I didn't breathe, I couldn't. Butterflies were taking off inside my heart and flew into my stomach. Soon enough my eyes slipped shut and I kissed back. It was short and sweet. He slowly pulled away and I opened my eyes. He smiled at me. "What did you feel?" he asked.

"Amazing." I breathed. He grinned back and we shared another small kiss.