I'll Tear Down the Stars for You

The sun beamed down onto the windshield as I squinted to see where I was driving. It was only a short drive, but I didn’t feel like walking today.

I felt like there was something that I had to do. After my talk with Tom two days ago, I’ve been thinking about everything that’s happened. And that was when I realised that the only way for me to move on is for me to accept the change and ignore the feelings that I have. They are what is holding me back and I need to get over myself because I know that they aren’t real; I’m just telling myself something false.

I turned the engine of my car off as I parked outside of Mark’s workplace; a recording studio. He works on the mixing tables for bands. He has a new client... well band, and he won’t tell me who it is. Although I do recognise this building. But why?

I opened the front door, stepping in and walking straight up the stairs until I found the mixing room where Mark was sat next to a small man. I knocked on the door and watched as the small man waved his hand at me, signalling for me to enter, which I did. And as soon as the door swung open, I regretted it.

There, dotted around the room were familiar people. Or to be precise, Gustav, Georg and Tom, the small man being David Jost. In the sound room was Bill singing lyrics to a new song for the next album.

“Ebony?” I felt eyes on me as I walked over to Mark and stood before him, only to be ignored by him. Like he has been doing the past two days, which is why I’m here right now.

“Carry on singing Bill. We need this song finished today,” a few buttons were pressed and Bill’s singing was heard once again.

“Mark?” I questioned. He turned his back to me and began to discuss work matters with David. “Mark,”

“I’m sure it can wait Ebony,” I placed my hands on my hips and leaned on my right leg.

“No it can’t wait,” he turned to face me, anger in his eyes.

“What’s so important that you had to come and interrupt my work?” I felt eyes burning into the back of my head, but I ignored it as I breathed in deeply.

“Mark,” he raised his eyebrows up at me as he waited for my response. “I. I will marry you,” a huge smile spread across Mark’s face and the burning in the back of my head instantly disappeared.

“That’s great news Ebs,” he stood up and scooped me up in his arms causing me to giggle as he spun me around. “We’ll start organising it straight away,” he placed my feet back on the ground and I turned to face the boys who were grinning from ear to ear. Apart from Tom.

“Congratulations Ebony!” Georg cheered, walking over and pulling me into a tight embrace. “You’ve moved on. I didn’t think you would,” he whispered in my ear before he stepped away from me, allowing Gustav to pull me into a hug and like Mark, spin me around. I looked over at Tom and smiled at him, but I got nothing in return other than a shake of the head.

I jumped when the door slammed shut as I stared at the seat that Tom was once sat in.

“Ebony?” I turned around to face Bill who was looking at me with a stern look. “Congratulations and everything, but why?” huh?

“Why what?” I asked him.

“Why did you do that in front of Tom? You know that he still likes you, and yet you go and say Yes to another man in front of him? I know he’s hurt you and everything, but there’s no need to do it back to him. Yes, he has to learn, but making him learn this way is a bit cruel towards him, don’t you think?” no, not really.

“Bill. Thanks for telling me all this and stuff, but I don’t see why Tom should be fussed by this. I mean, he move on from me which is why he divorced me, and now I’ve moved on from him. I can’t win can I?” I shook my head and looked away from Bill. “I don’t get what his problem is,”

“He only divorced you because Olivia more or less forced him to! Ebony. Tom still loves you. With all his heart. That’s his problem. Can’t you see that?!” by this point, he was screaming at me.

“Ebony obviously doesn’t love Tom if she’s marrying me though,” so wrong Mark. So, so wrong.

“Just go talk to him, Ebony,” why? This wouldn’t have been happening if he hadn’t divorced me for that girl. Okay, so she forced him into it, but if he loved me then he would’ve done anything to stay with me. But whatever, this is his fault and I refuse to take any of the blame.

“Ebony,” Bill looked at me with a stern look in his eyes. I rolled my eyes at him and walked out of the mixing room and out of the studio to find Tom leaning against the wall with a cigarette in his hand.

“Tom?” I whispered, but got no answer. “Tom,” I stood in front of him, but gained no eye contact from him.

“Leave me alone Ebony,” Tom whispered, a tear rolling down his cheek.

“No. Why did you storm out like that?” I asked him, taking the cigarette out of his hand and having a drag from it before handing it back to him.

“Why? The girl that I still love just said Yes to a guys proposal in front of me. It fucking hurts,” he choked on his fresh tears that he was trying to stop from falling.

“Tom. You cheated on me, got back with me, and then told me you want a divorce. You’ve torn my heart out, stomped on it, stabbed it, spat on it and then threw it under a lawn-mower. How hurt do you think I am? Do you not think that I have the right to move on from you after all you did to me?” A tear rolled down my cheek as I stared at him, waiting for an answer.

“I don’t even understand how we got to this point,” he whispered, shaking his head at me.

“Olivia forced you to divorce me. Bill told me after you had stormed out of the room. I didn’t know that was the reason. If I knew, everything would be different right now,” I whispered, wiping a tear from his eyes.

“Then go back and tell Mark you want to cancel the wedding,” he pleaded.

“I can’t do that,” I shook my head. I could. I’m just too afraid of what Mark would do to me if I told him I don’t want to marry him anymore. He’s a scary man, and I don’t want to be on his bad side.

“So this is it?” he asked me.

“I’m afraid so,” I looked away from him as fresh tears rolled down me cheeks.

“In that case,” I lifted my head to look Tom in the eyes as he wiped away the tears. “I don’t think I can bare seeing you prepare for a wedding with another man when I’m here still loving you like crazy. It kills me to know that you don’t love me like you used to. I’m sorry Ebony. Maybe it will be best if we depart,” and with that, he turned on his heel and walked away from the studio.

TOM’S POV

As I walked away from the girl that I love, I couldn’t help but let the tears fall freely down my face. I couldn’t care if anyone saw me. They can go to fucking hell right now. I couldn’t care. I don’t give a fuck. Whatever. I now have to go on knowing that I’m the biggest fuck up ever.

Before I had gotten too far away from Ebony, I turned to face Ebony again to give her a small smile, which she kindly returned. “I love you” I mouthed to her. Forever.

As I began walking again, my heart began pounding in my chest as 6 timid words reached my ears;

“My love for you never ended,”