I'll Tear Down the Stars for You

“Mom? We made you breakfast,” I rubbed at my eyes and slowly sat up in my bed, the smell of eggs and fried bread wafting to my nose making my stomach rumble. “Hannah helped us make it though,” that’s right. We had ended up staying with Hannah Georg for a little while. It was either that or stay with Freddy and Bill, and that would just be a bit... awkward.

“Thank you,” I whispered, waiting for my voice to wake up with the rest of my restless body.

“It’s okay. Georg went to go get our stuff so Hailey and I decided to make you breakfast. Robbie and Megan still need waking up for school though,” oh crap I forgot about that. Their first day back at school is today.

“You go get dressed then. I’ll wake them up in a bit,” and let them fight over the bathroom. As per usual. Hailey and Emily skipped out of my bedroom as I stabbed at the fried egg. I wasn’t really feeling too hungry, but my twin angels made the food for me, and no matter how good it smelt, I just didn’t want to eat it. I was going to have to force it down my throat.

I pushed the plate off of my lap and slowly stood up from my bed, stretching and walking out to the bedroom that the kids shared together. Georg may have a big house, but it’s not that big.

“Robbie. Get up and go to the bathroom. Be quick though,” I gently shook his shoulder and watched as he stirred in his bed, getting wrapped up in the blankets and eventually falling onto the floor with a loud thud. A thud loud enough to wake Megan up with a groan and a quiet, “shut up Robbie,”

“Megan. Get up, and this morning, Robbie is in the bathroom first,” I walked out of the bedroom and left Megan to wake up in her own time. I turned the light on in my bedroom and closed the bedroom door, walking over to my open suitcase to look for my uniform. My stomach rumbled again as I put on my underwear, black trousers and white button up shirt, turning on the curlers for curling my hair.

***

I walked down the stairs, my hair in curls and flat shoes slipped on, dropping my handbag on the sofa and checked myself in the mirror, applying a little lip gloss to my lips. I’m just going to go on as if nothing happened between Tom and I. As If I had never met him. We never dated, got married and had 4 kids together. I will pretend I don’t know who the hell he is.

Pshh. Yeah right.

“Mom! Mom! You have a letter! It was sent to Tom’s house, and so he must’ve given it to Georg to give to you,” Tom. They had all stopped calling Tom their dad more or less over night, and that killed me. But I’m not supposed to care. I’m moving on. Well, attempting to, and so far, it’s not going too well.

“Put it with my handbag. I’ll read at work because right now, I have to take you, Emily and Robbie to school and drop Megan off at the bus stop,” I don’t favour my children. Megan is just at high school which is the opposite direction to the Primary School, plus she said she’d prefer to get the bus with her boyfriend Ben.

“But Megan is still in the bathroom doing her makeup,” Hailey moaned, falling back onto the sofa.

“Megan! Robbie! Emily! Come down here! Time to go to school!” I shouted, walking over to my handbag and placing the letter inside of it. It sounded like a herd of elephants coming down the stairs, but really, it was only Robbie Megan and Emily racing each other down the stairs.

“Ow! Robbie! You pulled my hair!” Megan screeched as she stood in the living room doorway, awaiting for the “alright lets go” from me.

“Alright let’s go!” picking up my car keys, I followed the kids out of the living room and to the front door.

***

“That’s €20 then, please,” I smiled at my hairdresser. I was short on staff today which only means it was a hectic day. I was having to race around, making sure all the customers are happy with what their hairdresser was doing to their hair, as well as working with my own clients. I truly hated days like this.

“Thank you! I’ll be sure to come here again,” my client smiled, leaving me a tip. Heh. That doesn’t tend to happen on a busy day like this. I pocketed the money and just as I was about to walk away to sweep up some hair off the floor, my client stopped in her tracks and turned on her heel to face me again, “Oh and another thing. You are a very, very, lucky lady,” I gulped. She was talking about Tom.

Lucky my arse.

“Uhh. Thank you. I think,” I sighed and watched as she shut the door behind her, only then turning to face Sofie, one of the few hairdressers I had in today.

“I’m going for my lunch break. I’ll see you in an hour,” I walked over to my main work area and got my handbag out of my cupboard, the letter still in it and unopened. I was going to open and read it in a local café just around the corner from the salon.

My phone buzzed in my trouser pocket indicating I had a text message. I took my phone out of my pocket and flipped it open to see I had received a text message from Tom.

Wait what?

I was so confused. Why had he text me? What did he want? I thought he wanted nothing to do with me now? Eugh. I just don’t get him sometimes. And with that thought, my thumb hovered over the ‘cancel’ button and pressed down on it, a big “Deleted” message coming up on the screen.

I sat down in the café beside the window and got out my cheese sandwich, along with the letter I had received from Tom. It had been on my mind all day, taking most of my attention and thoughts. I’m surprised I hadn’t cut someone’s hair completely wrong because I just couldn’t focus on anything but the letter.

“Can I get you anything, mam?” I looked up at the waitress and smiled.

“Just a coffee is fine, thank you,” the waitress nodded and walked away, leaving me to stare at the white envelope.

With shaky fingers, I picked it up and began to open the thin paper, taking a bite out of my cheese sandwich at the same time. I pulled out a folded piece of paper out of the envelope. A folded piece of paper which was in actual fact a form.

The divorce papers.

The date at the top of the 1st page read 21st August. Tom had filed for this divorce over 2 weeks ago without even telling me. Wh. H. Bu. Why? The more of the form I read, the more my hands began to shake. I hadn’t even noticed the coffee being placed beside me as I stared at one thing Tom had written in his scruffy hand writing;

Reason: A new woman in my life.

A new woman in my life. A new woman in my life? A new. Woman. In my life.

The words slowly sunk into my head as I read it over and over. Tom had a new woman. God knows how long he’s had her. She’s probably who he’s been going to see in the evening. Stupid husband stealing bitch.

I scanned the form again to see if he had mentioned how he felt no love in the relationship anymore, but he hadn’t done. Strange.

But then it hit me. “I feel no love in the relationship anymore” is a cover up. He didn’t want to tell me the real reason why he wanted a divorce. Tears stung my eyes and I couldn’t help but let them fall.

He had lied to me.