I'll Tear Down the Stars for You

“Megan! Come on it’s time to go!” I tapped my foot as I stood at the front door, my hand on the door handle as I waited for Megan to come downstairs so I could take her for her singing lesson. She was in a band which was called Candlelight and she was the lead singer, and the perfectionist she is, she wanted to have singing lessons to make her voice perfect. But I assure you, Candlelight will be top of the charts in a few years time.

“I’m ready,” I smiled at Megan and opened the front door, turning to look at Robbie, Hayley and Emily who sat watching TV in the living room with Georg and Hannah. “Be good for Georg and Hannah while I’m gone,”

“We will. It’s Hannah and Georg you should be worried about,” Robbie grinned at me. My eyes averted to Hannah as she spoke;

“Don’t worry Ebony. They’ll be on drugs by the time you get back,” I sent her my “you best not do” look, which others would call a glare.

“Bye guys,” as I turned to close the front door, I heard Emily ask Hannah, “What is drugs?” I chuckled to myself and shut the door. I’ll leave Hannah to sort that one out on her own.

***

“Oh yeah mom. I forgot to tell you something that’s like, proper good news,” I looked over at Megan who was looking right back at me, a smile spread across her face and beaming bright.

“What is it, sweetie?”

“Don’t call me that mom. I’m 17 remember?. And, Candlelight have a gig this Saturday night! Our first gig! Oh my God I’m so happy, mom! Will you come watch us?” I smiled right back at Megan.

That was just how Tokio Hotel started.

“Go for it. Of course I’ll watch you. Hey, you never know who’s going to be watching!” the smile on Megan’s face faded and she turned to look out of the passenger window.

“This is how Tokio Hotel started, isn’t it?” I stayed silent, keeping my eyes on the road.

“What makes you say that?” Megan turned to face me again.

“It’s written all over your face. You can’t stop thinking about anything that has to do with Tom. You link everything to Tom and Tokio Hotel. Everyone knows that you still love him,” I stepped on the brakes when we reached some traffic lights which had just turned red. I looked straight at Megan, a stern look on my face.

“I don’t not love Tom. I am over him. Completely.” Not.

“You lie,” Megan hissed. I turned away from her glaring eyes and sped off as the traffic lights turned green. The car filled with silence and I just thought about what Megan had said.

I am over him. I am over him. I am over him.

I think?

***

“I’ll come collect you in 45 minutes then?” I cut off the engine and looked over at Megan.

“Yeah. See in you 45 minutes,” Megan opened the car door and got out, shutting it closed and waving to me. I sat and watched as she walked to the doors just to make sure got in okay. She may be seventeen, but I’m still that protective mother. She stopped at the door and didn’t move to open the door. She’s not having second thoughts is she?

No. She’s not having second thoughts on having second thoughts. She had just seen someone she didn’t want to see right now.

Tom.

I sat in the car and watched as Tom looked at Megan. He looked behind him at the doors that he had just come from as if he was waiting for someone. He was.

Out walked a lady who instantly intertwined her fingers with Tom’s. The husband stealing bitch.

I got out of my car as soon as I saw Tom’s new lady glare at Megan. I wasn’t having any of that.

“Oh hello Tom. Fancy bumping into you here,” I stared straight into his eyes.

“I came with. Uhh. Olivia to drop her daughter off for her singing lesson,” Olivia. Olivia. Olivia. I repeated her name in my head until it was like poison.

“Megan why haven’t you gone inside for your singing lesson? You’re going to be late,” I asked, standing beside Megan and glaring daggers at the women before me. I knew exactly what Megan was going to say back.

“I would if that bastard got out of my way,” normally, I would’ve told Megan off for swearing, but she’s right. Tom is a bastard.

“My baby is not a bastard. You’re just jealous because he found someone better than your mom,” I growled at the women. How dare she! “I knew he’d come back to me after that one night. Sixteen. Years. Ago.” That motherfucking bitch. He kept her number all these years?

“Tom?” I choked on my own words. “Is she who I think she is?” he didn’t say anything. He just nodded his head and looked at the ground. My heart shattered to pieces. Again.

“That one night was the best night of my life. Not only did I get to fuck Tom, but I got to break you two up,”

“Shut up,”

“He moaned my name. Shows how much he cared about you,”

“I said. Shut. Up,”

“He had a boner in the club. I had turned him on,”

“You took advantage of him, you bitch,” I hissed.

“He wanted it. He obviously wanted me more than you if he kept my number for 16 years,” I couldn’t take it anymore. She had hit my last nerve.

“You’re a whore. You slept with a guy who had a girlfriend. And for your information, he came back to me. I didn’t go for him. You know,” I laughed, “he never spoke once about you. He deleted all the text messages you sent him without reading them. Yeah, I know about them. You only seem to get the satisfaction when you’ve made people break up. What? Are you a jealous, insecure, spoilt brat? You’re what? 32? 33? Just grow up, yeah? You’re not a bitchy little teenage girl anymore. You’re supposed to be a mature adult. So as soon as you’ve grown up, just get out of my sight,” I pushed past Olivia and Tom, my arm firmly around Megan’s arm as I lead her to the door, but someone pulled me back and with a full swing, they slapped me around the face.

“Olivia, calm down,”

“Don’t tell me to calm down, Tom. You can’t tell me what to do!” yep. A spoilt brat.

“I can’t believe you! I can’t fucking bel-“

“Don’t swear at me you little kid. What are you? 12?”

“I’m 17 actually and I can do what the heck I like to a women like you. I can’t believe you just slapped my mom! She did nothing to you. All the blame is put on you. You’re the one who has the nerve to break a family up. A family that loved each other. How the hell can you be okay with knowing that you’ve messed lives up? My mom is messed up without Tom but you don’t give a fuck, do you? Yeah. I just swore at you! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! God, you make me so mad! I don’t know what the hell Tom see’s in you, but I see nothing but a blonde bimbo whore who steals an innocent women’s husband. How can you live like that? You’re a little piece of shit and I have the right minds to clean you up and throw you away. Fucks sake, I wish you would have just left us alone. We were happy until you came along! God. You’re just a fucking lowlife aren’t you?” I could tell Megan wanted to say more, it was written all over her face. She gets that from me.

“Megan calm down, okay?” I looked over at Tom, surprised that he had finally spoken.

“No! Why should I calm down? Who for? You? Fuck that. I’m not doing as you say! You know what? You make mom cry herself to sleep at night because you’ve hurt her so much. In fact, you’ve hurt us all and most of us hate you. How does it feel to know that your children hate you, Tom? Yeah that’s right. Tom. I can’t even call you my own dad anymore, that’s how much you’ve hurt us. In my eyes Tom, you’re not a true father, so just leave us all alone,” I saw Tom’s eyes water at Megan’s words. But you know what? He deserves it.

“Megan. I-“

“Tom. I said leave us alone, so fuck off with your blonde bimbo,” Megan turned on her heel and walked towards the door, swinging it open and making sure to slam it shut. I could tell that today’s lesson wasn’t going to go very well.

“Ebony-”

“Don’t,” I put my hands up in Tom’s face and walked away to my car. I sat in the driver’s seat, the key in the ignition but I hadn’t turned it to turn the engine on. I just sat and stared at Tom as he stared back at me.

I could still feel that connection between us.