Blooming

When my parents finally got home, they found me crying my eyes out on the couch, the movie Riley and I had been watching still playing in the background.
“Sweetie, what’s wrong?” my mom asked. She’d finally started to accept my pregnancy and had fallen in love with the fact that I was dating Riley.
With that thought, I fell apart even more.
I told her everything, about Darren’s proposal, how I told him I didn’t know what to say, and Riley running out. She didn’t say much, just held me and let me cry while Dad brought me some hot chocolate but pretty much stayed out of the way.
“Do you think he hates me?” I whined to my mother, referring to Riley.
“Sweetie, I don’t think that boy could hate you if he tried,” she said.
But I wasn’t so sure.
When Darren proposed, the first thought to enter my mind was the baby. What choice would be best for the baby? Would it be better if Darren and I stayed together and raised it as a couple? Or would we see other people but still make time in our teenage little lives to take care of it? Would Riley still want to be with me after the baby came? Would he still want to be with me at all?
After I’d stopped crying, I told my parents I was going to get ready for bed. But what I really wanted to do was talk to Riley.
Once I’d reached my room, I immediately got my cell phone and dialed Riley’s number. I called once, twice, three times, but he still wouldn’t answer. I’d already texted him a thousand times before my parents came home which left me at a loss. I sighed, teary eyed, and simply laid on my bed, defeated. Had I made the right choice in making Darren wait for my decision? Should I say yes for our baby? Would I be happy with Darren?
Just then, a thought popped into my mind. I remembered junior high when Riley and I were best friends. Whenever he got upset, he’d get on his computer and write. He had tons of poems on every subject from love to friendship, from faith to happiness. Surely he’d be on tonight, and maybe I could instant message him.
I raced over to the computer and logged online. The list of people I had read that nobody was on, but I had the feeling Riley truely was, but he made his status invisible. He had to be there, writing away his troubles. I was sure of it.
I clicked on his name and began typing with shaky fingers.
xxsavannahfarexx: do u hate me? I typed.
Patiently, I waited for ten minutes with no response.
xxsavannahfarexx: i kno ur there.
I had the feeling that maybe I was wrong. Maybe he didn’t write anymore....
<<rileywriter>>: no he wrote.
My heart beat a mile a minute.
xxsavannahfarexx: no what?
<<rileywriter>>: i dont hate u.
Thank God, I thought.
xxsavannahfarexx: im sorry. was all I could say.
It took him a moment before he responded.
<<rileywriter>>: its ur life and ur decision. i dont want to get in the way. do what u think is rite for the baby. he wrote.
I sighed and wiped away a tear. I didn’t know what was right for my baby, to have her dad around or would Riley be a better dad in a situation like this?
xxsavannahfarexx: idk whats rite.
<<rileywriter>>: follow ur heart.
Follow your heart. The problem was, I didn’t know what it wanted.
xxsavannahfarexx: did u mean it? I had to ask.
<<rileywriter>>: mean what?
xxsavannahfarexx: when u said u loved me....
I was fearful of what his answer would be.
<<rileywriter>>: yes.
xxsavannahfarexx: even tho im sixteen, pregnant, and some other guy proposed to me?
Maybe that was taking it a little too far but I didn’t care. I was enthused he still felt the same way.
<<rileywriter>>: even tho ur sixteen, pregnant, and cant make up ur mind.
xxsavannahfarexx: so what now?
I stared blankly and waited.
<<rileywriter>>: u tell me.
I didn’t know what to say.
<<rileywriter>>: follow ur heart and i will be here if u need me.
And with that, I was left staring at the computer screen, never feeling more alone.