A Price For My Soul
014.
“Alex, seriously. What the fuck happened last night?” I asked for the millionth time since waking up. “Gabe looks like he got the shit beat out of him, and from what I can tell, you’re the one responsible.”
This was confusing as hell for a few reasons:
1) My hangover didn’t allow for clear thinking.
2) Gabe and Alex are both really laid back, so I have no idea why they’d get into an argument, nonetheless, a fistfight.
3) Alex always talks. But for some reason, he was refusing to answer my question.
“Come on. Sam’s the one that’s mute,” I pushed. “You don’t have an excuse.”
“Jack, just leave it,” he replied, obviously frustrated. “You have your own shit to worry about. Have you even talked to Gemini?”
“Not since this morning…”
He rolled his eyes and shook his head.
“See? You should be thinking about that instead of asking me a question I’m not going to answer,” he replied.
With that, he got up and walked off the bus.
As I sat there, alone with my thoughts, I realized that Alex was right. Whatever went down with Gabe must’ve been really bad, but I had more important things to think about. I’d literally and figuratively fucked things up with Gemini, and there wasn’t anything I could do to fix it.
Under regular circumstances, drunken one-night stands didn’t phase me. Groupies are like kleenex. Use once and throw away. But this wasn’t a regular circumstance.
Gemini wasn’t a groupie, and I sure as hell didn’t want to throw her away.
But how was I supposed to make things up to her?
Apologizing sounded like a good idea, but what was I supposed to say?
“Sorry that I got totally shitfaced last night and treated you like a cheap whore”?
“FUCK,” I loudly groaned, putting my face in my hands.
“You okay?” Rian asked, walking into the main area of the bus.
“Not even close…” I replied, still looking down.
“I’m guessing this has to do with Gem,” he said, taking a seat next to me.
I didn’t have to say anything. My loud sigh spoke volumes.
“Well if I were you, I’d talk to her as soon as possible,” he said. “I mean, did you guys at least use protection?”
My eyes went wide. That question hadn’t even crossed my mind.
“I have no idea,” I said, panicking. “I think we did. I hope to GOD we did…”
At this point, my brain was swimming in questions.
What if we didn’t use protection? What it Gem gets pregnant? Would she gets an abortion? Would I be okay with that? Am I ready to be a dad? Even if she doesn’t get pregnant, will she ever forvige me? Why the fuck did I drink so much?
“Calm down,” Rian said, putting his hand on my shoulder. “Whatever happened, I’m sure you guys will be able to work it out.”
“We haven’t even known each other for 2 days and she already has the right to hate my guts. How the hell am I supposed to fix this?” I asked.
“I don’t know…” he quietly replied.
“Sorry to interrupt, but Matt just texted me and said to get our asses to soundcheck,” Zack said, walking in from the bunk area.
Sighing, I stood up and followed him and Rian off the bus and toward whatever stage we were playing. When we caught up with Alex, I noticed that his black eye didn’t look nearly as bad as it did in the morning.
“Can you still tell that I got the beat up?” he asked, noticing that I was looking at his face.
“Not really,” I said.
“Thank God for Vicky-T and her make up skills,” he replied, slipping his guitar over his head. “Listen, about earlier… I’m sorry for being such a prick―”
“It’s fine. You were right.”
“So are you gonna talk to her later?”
“Yeah. I just hope she listens.”
He offered me a cautious smile, and I tried my best to return the gesture. Then before I knew it, it was time to hit the stage.
Despite everything that was going on, I was somehow able to make it through the songs. That was one of the things I loved about music. Even if shit hit the fan, and everything was going to hell, music would still make sense to me.
About halfway through the set, Alex switched to his acoustic and started playing “Remembering Sunday.” This gave Rian, Zack, and I a little break from performing, giving us a chance to really take in the crowd. Looking out at the hundreds of people, I quickly noticed 2 familiar faces.
Gemini and Sammy were standing toward the front, singing along. They both looked ecstatic as they watched Alex, but when Gem’s eyes met mine, her smile faded. Not quite into a frown, but you could tell that she’d lost a lot of enthusiam. Feeling guilty, I turned my attention back toward Alex. As he neared the third verse, he stood up from his wooden stool and got closer to the mic.
“Usually I’d have Juliet sing this next part with me, but since Automatic Loveletter is playing a set right now, I’m gonna need some help from one of you,” he he said, smiling. “Let’s see… Who get’s to be the lucky girl…”
After provoking excited screams from various members of the crowd, he looked around, then waved over a security guard next to the barricade. Alex whispered something into his hear, then the guy went back to the barricade and pointed at Sammy. She looked confused at first, but after getting a confirmation nod from Alex, she understood. The guard carefully pulled her, as well as Gemini, out of the crowd. While Gem was allowed to stand in front of the barricade, the bulky man helped Sam get onto the stage.
“Okay, you know the words right?” Alex playfully asked as Sam stood next to him, fully aware that she loved Juliet Simms.
Sam nervously nodded.
“Alright,” he grinned before starting the song once again.
“The neighbors said she moved away
Funny how it rained all day
Didn’t think much of it then, but it’s starting to all make sense
Oh I can see now
That all of these clouds are
Following me in my desperate endeavor
To find my whoever, wherever she may be…”
“I’m not coming back
I’ve done something so terrible
I’m terrified to speak, but you’d expect that from me
I’m mixed up, I’ll be blunt
Now the rain is just washing you out of my hair
And out of my mind
Keeping an eye on the world
With so many thousands of feet on the ground
I’m over you now
I’m at home in the clouds, towering over your head…”
“I guess I’ll go home now
I guess I’ll go home now
I guess I’ll go home now
I guess I’ll go home…”
When the song ended, the crowd broke into applause, but Alex and Sam were too caught up in the moment to notice. As the last notes hung in the air, he set his guitar down and wrapped the petite blonde in a hug. Then pulling away, he whispered something into her ear. I don’t know what it was, but whatever he said provoked a huge smile on her face.
It was nice to see them both so happy, but at the same time, I couldn’t help but be a little jealous. They’d only known each other for a day and everything was going great with them. Gem and I, on the other hand, were already a complete disaster.
This was confusing as hell for a few reasons:
1) My hangover didn’t allow for clear thinking.
2) Gabe and Alex are both really laid back, so I have no idea why they’d get into an argument, nonetheless, a fistfight.
3) Alex always talks. But for some reason, he was refusing to answer my question.
“Come on. Sam’s the one that’s mute,” I pushed. “You don’t have an excuse.”
“Jack, just leave it,” he replied, obviously frustrated. “You have your own shit to worry about. Have you even talked to Gemini?”
“Not since this morning…”
He rolled his eyes and shook his head.
“See? You should be thinking about that instead of asking me a question I’m not going to answer,” he replied.
With that, he got up and walked off the bus.
As I sat there, alone with my thoughts, I realized that Alex was right. Whatever went down with Gabe must’ve been really bad, but I had more important things to think about. I’d literally and figuratively fucked things up with Gemini, and there wasn’t anything I could do to fix it.
Under regular circumstances, drunken one-night stands didn’t phase me. Groupies are like kleenex. Use once and throw away. But this wasn’t a regular circumstance.
Gemini wasn’t a groupie, and I sure as hell didn’t want to throw her away.
But how was I supposed to make things up to her?
Apologizing sounded like a good idea, but what was I supposed to say?
“Sorry that I got totally shitfaced last night and treated you like a cheap whore”?
“FUCK,” I loudly groaned, putting my face in my hands.
“You okay?” Rian asked, walking into the main area of the bus.
“Not even close…” I replied, still looking down.
“I’m guessing this has to do with Gem,” he said, taking a seat next to me.
I didn’t have to say anything. My loud sigh spoke volumes.
“Well if I were you, I’d talk to her as soon as possible,” he said. “I mean, did you guys at least use protection?”
My eyes went wide. That question hadn’t even crossed my mind.
“I have no idea,” I said, panicking. “I think we did. I hope to GOD we did…”
At this point, my brain was swimming in questions.
What if we didn’t use protection? What it Gem gets pregnant? Would she gets an abortion? Would I be okay with that? Am I ready to be a dad? Even if she doesn’t get pregnant, will she ever forvige me? Why the fuck did I drink so much?
“Calm down,” Rian said, putting his hand on my shoulder. “Whatever happened, I’m sure you guys will be able to work it out.”
“We haven’t even known each other for 2 days and she already has the right to hate my guts. How the hell am I supposed to fix this?” I asked.
“I don’t know…” he quietly replied.
“Sorry to interrupt, but Matt just texted me and said to get our asses to soundcheck,” Zack said, walking in from the bunk area.
Sighing, I stood up and followed him and Rian off the bus and toward whatever stage we were playing. When we caught up with Alex, I noticed that his black eye didn’t look nearly as bad as it did in the morning.
“Can you still tell that I got the beat up?” he asked, noticing that I was looking at his face.
“Not really,” I said.
“Thank God for Vicky-T and her make up skills,” he replied, slipping his guitar over his head. “Listen, about earlier… I’m sorry for being such a prick―”
“It’s fine. You were right.”
“So are you gonna talk to her later?”
“Yeah. I just hope she listens.”
He offered me a cautious smile, and I tried my best to return the gesture. Then before I knew it, it was time to hit the stage.
Despite everything that was going on, I was somehow able to make it through the songs. That was one of the things I loved about music. Even if shit hit the fan, and everything was going to hell, music would still make sense to me.
About halfway through the set, Alex switched to his acoustic and started playing “Remembering Sunday.” This gave Rian, Zack, and I a little break from performing, giving us a chance to really take in the crowd. Looking out at the hundreds of people, I quickly noticed 2 familiar faces.
Gemini and Sammy were standing toward the front, singing along. They both looked ecstatic as they watched Alex, but when Gem’s eyes met mine, her smile faded. Not quite into a frown, but you could tell that she’d lost a lot of enthusiam. Feeling guilty, I turned my attention back toward Alex. As he neared the third verse, he stood up from his wooden stool and got closer to the mic.
“Usually I’d have Juliet sing this next part with me, but since Automatic Loveletter is playing a set right now, I’m gonna need some help from one of you,” he he said, smiling. “Let’s see… Who get’s to be the lucky girl…”
After provoking excited screams from various members of the crowd, he looked around, then waved over a security guard next to the barricade. Alex whispered something into his hear, then the guy went back to the barricade and pointed at Sammy. She looked confused at first, but after getting a confirmation nod from Alex, she understood. The guard carefully pulled her, as well as Gemini, out of the crowd. While Gem was allowed to stand in front of the barricade, the bulky man helped Sam get onto the stage.
“Okay, you know the words right?” Alex playfully asked as Sam stood next to him, fully aware that she loved Juliet Simms.
Sam nervously nodded.
“Alright,” he grinned before starting the song once again.
“The neighbors said she moved away
Funny how it rained all day
Didn’t think much of it then, but it’s starting to all make sense
Oh I can see now
That all of these clouds are
Following me in my desperate endeavor
To find my whoever, wherever she may be…”
“I’m not coming back
I’ve done something so terrible
I’m terrified to speak, but you’d expect that from me
I’m mixed up, I’ll be blunt
Now the rain is just washing you out of my hair
And out of my mind
Keeping an eye on the world
With so many thousands of feet on the ground
I’m over you now
I’m at home in the clouds, towering over your head…”
“I guess I’ll go home now
I guess I’ll go home now
I guess I’ll go home now
I guess I’ll go home…”
When the song ended, the crowd broke into applause, but Alex and Sam were too caught up in the moment to notice. As the last notes hung in the air, he set his guitar down and wrapped the petite blonde in a hug. Then pulling away, he whispered something into her ear. I don’t know what it was, but whatever he said provoked a huge smile on her face.
It was nice to see them both so happy, but at the same time, I couldn’t help but be a little jealous. They’d only known each other for a day and everything was going great with them. Gem and I, on the other hand, were already a complete disaster.
♠ ♠ ♠
:S Uh-oh. Another amzing chapter from Grace!