I'm Never Letting Go

I woke up slowly to feel the comforting squeeze of an arm around me and the soft plush of warm blankets covering me. It wasn’t long before I realized that I wasn’t at home and it wasn’t even long after that, that I realized that the arm around me wasn’t even around my body but lying on top of the blanket that was covering me.

The fact that I wasn’t at home was enough to scare me; and these sheets felt way too soft to be on the bed of any of my friends, or one of Jake’s for that matter. It took a second for everything to click in and last night flashback through my mind. Meeting Alex Gaskarth, seeing Jake with that sixteen year old slut… Alex! That must be it. After the show he said I could hang out with him as long as I wanted to if I didn’t feel like leaving yet.

I guess I ended up spending the entire night with Alex, in a completely platonic kind of way. Once we had gotten back to the hotel; The Glamour Kills Tour was actually spending a few days in Columbus, so they had booked a few rooms at the Hyatt – I spilled my entire guts to him, telling him all about Jake and me and how that’s always how Jake had been. I even told him that I was two months along.

He just stared at me like he couldn’t believe it or something. He had actually said that Jake didn’t deserve to have a child with me.

I laughed at him when he said this and told him he didn’t even know me.

Which was true. Alex didn’t know me, but as I felt the weight next to me shift and I could hear him mumble, ’oh shit’ under his breath. I had to try my hardest not to laugh. I wanted him to know me. There is always that possibility; isn’t there? I mean, he is taking an interest in me.

When I knew Alex was off of the bed and probably in the bathroom, I yawned and stretched only to hit something with my foot, “What the heck?”

“Oh hey, sorry – I thought you would sleep to noon or something,” Alex smiled at me. I rubbed my eyes to get a better look at him, his shirt was wrinkled and his hair was a mess and I could see him a lot better than I did last night, even though last night he probably was decent looking. But still, right now he probably never looked better.

“I have class at noon – so that’s usually impossible,” I laughed and threw the blankets off of me; they were starting to get way too hot.

“Oh right, photography student,” He laughed along too as he grabbed a pile of clothes out of a suitcase and headed off to the bathroom. I remembered that I had changed into a pair of Alex’s boxers and a tour t-shirt.

I looked around and just to make sure that Alex didn’t walk in on me, I put a chair under the door handle on the bathroom. It was one of those old fancy ones with the curved handle and it slipped easily under the frame of the chair.

I took off the boxers and slipped my jeans back on; leaving the tour t-shirt on and just as I was going to remove the chair – I heard Alex start to wiggle the handle.

“Hey! Let me out of here, you’re probably stealing my underwear aren’t you?” His voice was laced with alarm and humor at the same time – It was hard not to laugh, he was obviously joking.

“God, Alex, can’t a girl change?” I asked as I removed the door and he flew out of the door and landed on top of me. It was like BLAM or something,

“No,” He breathed heavily as he studied my lips. I went to say something as he moved in closer, for the kill I supposed, but there was no need – There was a knock at the door.

I could simply hear the frustration in Alex’s sigh as he got up off of me and answered the door.

“Hello-?” The greeting was not even out of his mouth before I sat up on my butt just to watch Alex fall back onto his butt. Looking up to see who was at the door, I saw exactly who I didn’t want to see – Jake.

I got up to see if Alex was alright but he had already popped back up and popped Jake in the face. I could see that this was going to end bloody if I didn’t say something soon.

“Stop it, both of you!” I made sure I said it loud enough that Jake’s hangover would be effected. They both dropped their fists to look at me.

“Jake, I don’t want to talk to you, I don’t want to see you; Hell you could walk out of me and this baby’s life at this every moment and I wouldn’t give a fuck. Now leave,” I didn’t stay in the room to watch him walk away. I went to the bathroom to hug my needs and cry the rest of my useless tears.