You're Just A Diamond In The Rough.

Things started getting heated between me and Joel on the dance floor. One moment he was there, in front of me, grinding against me. Then the next.. He was gone. It took me a moment to focus and realise he’d actually vanished. Then I immediately saw that he hadn’t disappeared at all, but he had been dragged off of me; by none other than Zack himself. Joel was on the floor, Zack above him holding him by the collar of his shirt, screaming something to him that I couldn’t hear over the thud of the music. Brian was pulling the obviously drunk Zack away from the poor boy on the floor as I stood in awe at what had just happened. Brian had a grip on Zacks shoulders, talking to him, trying to calm him down. I saw red; I was fuming. How dare he ruin something after saying he was picking Cindy over me anyway. I stormed over, pushing Brian out the way before coming face to face with Zack. I saw Brian watching over us hesitantly, unsure of what I wanted to do.

“Charlotte-“ Zack started. I cut him off; with the hardest slap I could possibly muster. I heard a ripple of gasps from who ever had crowded around us but I really could care less.

“Don’t you dare speak to me again, Zack.” I spat. His hand was raised up to his cheek where I’d slapped him, his eyes held the most intense pain I’d even seen. So intense I had to walk away. I knew it wasn’t physical pain, I don’t think he even felt the slap, that was sheer emotional pain that made my stomach twist into knots because I knew I’d done that to him. I walked as fast as I could away from him, shaking off anyone that tried to stop me. I could barely even see, tears streaming down my face, I knocked into a few people on my search for a door but was too pre occupied to even apologize.

“Charlotte!” I heard someone shout, not even stopping to see who it was as I’d finally set my sights on the door. I saw that the cars were still there waiting for us so I ran over to the closest one. They can drop me off at the hotel and come back for when the rest leave. I was about to get in but was stopped by someone trying to pull me back. I knew it was him without looking back but I couldn’t face it.

“Zack stop.” I pleaded quietly, my voice cracking from the tears. His grip loosened, letting me leave. I made the mistake of looking back; one last time. He was watching after me, his eyes bloodshot from the alcohol, vulnerability radiating off him. Through the hazy neon lights of the club and dirty orange glow of the street lights..

I could’ve sworn I saw a tear fall from his beautiful eyes.

The car pulled away, I didn’t look back, I couldn’t put myself through seeing that again. It eventually reached the hotel and I ran right up to my room, which I shared with Jimmy and Leana. I closed the door sliding down it into a heap on the floor, finally letting myself breakdown. I don’t know how long I was sat there; it couldn’t have been long until there was a knock on the door. I didn’t move to open it though, instead I stayed sat against it. Hoping if I was quiet enough whoever it was would leave.

“Charlotte, please I know you’re in there, I can hear you sniffing.” There was so much pleading and desperateness in his voice that I had to choke back another sob.

“Leave me alone.” I whispered, knowing he wouldn’t have been able to hear me through the heavy wood door. I heard a sliding noise and shuffling, I rolled my eyes taking that as a sign he’d sat down.

“I’m not going anywhere Charlotte. I’m going to sit here until you let me in. And don’t think I’m bluffing. I waited years to have you back in my life, I’m sure another few hours waiting wont kill me.” He spoke, so quietly I had to press my ear against the door to hear him. I heard sniffling; maybe I’d been right before when I saw a tear.

“Look.. I’m sorry about what happened before, I’ve been drinking a hell of a lot, I didn’t know what I was doing, it just happened..” He started; I heard a sigh before he cleared his throat. “He wasn’t good for you Charlotte.” He stated his voice cracking as he did. I felt the anger return and stood up, swinging the door open. He jumped to his feet in surprise, then fear as he saw the look on my face.

“Not good for me?” I mimicked his last words angrily. “How the hell do you know what is and isn’t good for me?!” I spat at him, his eyes were wide, obviously regretting his previous choice of words. His mouth moved but no words came out, I didn’t give him a chance to speak anyway; I wasn’t finished yet.

“Seriously Zack; First Chris and now Joel! I’m starting to think there’s no one in this world that will be good for me in your eyes.” He ran a hand through his hair, it was then I noticed he had indeed been crying, the tears on his face glistening in the lights from the hallway. I could also smell the alcohol radiating off of him.

“Of course there are people that are good for you Charlotte.” He sighed; I rolled my eyes in disagreement.

“Oh really? Well you certainly don’t seem to think so.” I spat taking a step closer to him. “Tell me Zack, who are these people you would approve of? Are they by any chance invisible?” He laughed, though it held no humour. It was if he was mocking himself, mocking what he was thinking in his mind.

“Charlotte..” He sighed, his eyes pleading for me to calm down but I couldn’t.

“No, go on, just one person Zack. One person and I’ll drop it.” I said, coldly. He stepped closer, scaring me slightly from the pure, stone emotion in his eyes. He stopped, so close I could feel his breath on my lips.

“Me.” He whispered. “I’d be good for you, Charlotte.”

I gasped, running the words through my head over and over to make sure I’d heard him right. My heart was pounding in my chest, his eyes bore into mine waiting for my reaction.

“I- Zack you’re drunk, don’t say things that you don’t mean.” I begged, I didn’t want to believe something that he was only saying because of the alcohol.

“Charlotte I do mean i-“ He started but I cut him off.

“You’re just upset about Cindy Zack you don’t mean what you’re saying. I know you don’t.” I rambled, surely he didn’t; he couldn’t.

He loved her not me.

Before I could say or think anything else, his lips crashed onto mine pushing me through the open door to my suite and kicking it shut behind him. My head was spinning from all the feelings I was going through. The butterflies were going crazy as his lips moved against mine, his tongue begging for entrance; which I allowed without any hesitation. I knew it was wrong, I knew he would regret it when he sobered up but this was everything I’d ever wanted. The kiss intensified and I found him pushing me into my bedroom, briefly breaking the kiss to close and lock the door behind us before lustfully re attaching our lips and pushing me back onto my bed. His hands ran up my sides, pulling my dress up and off as he did, leaving me in only my underwear. And as his lips trailed down my neck, drawing out a moan from my lips as he did, I decided even if this is all alcohol fuelled. Even if it is all a lie; I’d never felt this way before and even if it all changes in the morning. Just for tonight..

Why can’t I pretend?