You're Just A Diamond In The Rough.

A few hours later and I was finally ice cream free and ready for the night ahead. I heard Matt shout from the other room that the cars were here, so I quickly pulled on my heels, grabbed my bag and left the room. I smiled seeing Matt, Zack, Leana, Brian and Michelle all waiting for me. We all walked down to the lobby where the rest of our group were waiting for us, it was at this point I realised some one was missing.

“Hey Zack.” I whispered, “Where’s Cindy? Everything okay?” I asked, genuinely concerned for him. I hated her but I loved him and I wanted him to be happy, even if that meant not with me. Happy was the opposite of how he looked at the moment. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed.

“I don’t even know. She screamed at me for like an hour, then left. I don’t even know where she went or where she is now.” I gave him a sideways hug as we reached the cars before getting in; he followed and sat in the seat next to me. I didn’t say anything; I didn’t know what to say. As good of a liar as I have got these past few weeks I just cant give the guy I’m in love with advice on getting his girlfriend to forgive him. So I hoped the hug was enough comfort for him.

We reached the club, all clambering out of the cars. Leana ran over to me as fast as she could in stiletto heels. She grabbed my arm dragging me away from Zack who seemed to pre occupied to even notice I’d left as he followed Johnny, Lacey and Mark into the club.

“Charlotte, I have just made it my mission of the night to find you a guy.” She stated. I raised my eyebrows at her, did I want another guy?

“I don’t know Leana..” I replied sceptically. She rolled her eyes over dramatically at me.

“You can’t spend the rest of your life hung up on Zack, it’s not healthy.” And with that she grabbed my hand and we entered the club. No more was said about it, which led me to believe Leana thought she had won. We found the booths where everyone was already seated with 3 trays of shots in front of them and sat down with them.

It didn’t take long for everyone to be borderline drunk. I was only tipsy though, deciding I’d rather stay soberish tonight. I was currently dancing with all of the other girls whilst all the guys sat at the booths drinking. Deciding I wanted another shot, I stumbled over to the table which seated Zacky, Matt and Jimmy. No one noticed I was there, through the darkness and noise they didn’t hear me walk over. I could hear them though.

“I wouldn’t worry about it, Val kicks off at me like that all the time. It’s a girl thing.” I heard Matt say, earning a couple of laughs from the other two.

“But it’s not just that guys, she told me I could never talk to Charlotte again.” Zack replied, my heart was now beating over time in my chest as I continued to listen.

“Oh.. Well it’s up to you at the end of the day.” Jimmy responded, obviously not happy at the situation Cindy had put Zack in. “What do you want to do?”

“Well it’s a pretty easy decision. I’m in love with her guys, I can’t lose her.” Zack spoke, clear as day. His words ripped through me as I stumbled away from the booth and out of earshot; not wanting to hear anymore. He loved her? And he was going to stop our friendship for her?

I’d honestly never felt so hurt in my life.

I walked over to the dance floor forcing the tears that were clouding my vision away, though it seemed an impossible task. I looked around frantically in search of Leana. I spotted her dancing with Val and Kelly and tried to walk as happy as possible over to her. She saw me and ran over to me, saying something about how she’d been looking for me everywhere. Not that I was listening.

“Leana, find me a man.” I stated. She looked at me weirdly, probably contemplating what changed my mind before nodding slowly, a smile spreading onto her face.

“Okay.” She jumped up and down childishly before dragging my numb self behind her, unaware that I was breaking down inside.

After an hour of ‘guy watching’ which was apparently an essential stage of looking for a guy, she had finally spotted someone she thought worthy of me. After telling me to follow her lead she walked over to him ‘accidently’ bumping into him and knocking him over.

“Oh my god!” She said loudly, signalling me to come over behind his back quickly. “I am so sorry! Charlotte help him up, I think I’ve lost my lip stick.” She lied, crouching down looking for her none existent lipstick whilst I helped the poor guy up. He was good looking, that’s for certain; mid length sandy blonde hair and hazel eyes. As much as I tried not to I couldn’t help comparing him to Zack.

And he was nothing compared to Zack.

He stood up straight, his eyes landing on me and he smiled shyly.

“Wow.” He stuttered. “You’re beautiful.” I laughed slightly and couldn’t help the blush that spread across my cheeks. Leana took this as a cue and left, running back to the table that occupied Jimmy, Matt and Zack. She was probably off to tell Jimmy her master plan, which meant Zack, would defiantly hear too. Not that he would care, I’m just a friend to him and he’d rather have Cindy than my friendship anyway.

“I’m Joel. And you?” He asked, sticking out his hand, I shook it, smiling at him.

“I’m Charlotte. Are you British?” I wondered, noting an accent on him. He laughed, noticeably loosening up around me.

“Well I lived there for 20 years. I moved to California 4 years ago.” He answered, that made him 24 then.

“What brings you to Paris then?” I wondered, taking a seat at the bar, he joined me.

“Travelling.” He replied, ordering a drink, offering me one which I politely declined. I wanted to stay sober. “I’ve been travelling for 5 months now, off home in a few weeks though; Paris was one of the last stops.”

After that we spoke for a good hour or so and eventually he worked up the courage to ask me to dance. I must admit, he was taking my mind of what happened with Zack, but I wasn’t sure if he would be able to get me over Zack entirely. Michelle winked over at me as me and Joel was dancing and I giggled. Letting the adrenaline run through me; I wanted to forget everything.

I wanted to forget him.

The harder I tried though, the harder it got. I found myself thinking about everything. Every moment he’s ever spent in my life, right back to when we were kids and he lived on my street. All the times I’d admired him from a far until he asked me on that date that I’d so desperately wanted to go on. Then the years we spent apart where I’d always wondered what had happened to him. To the hate, to the arguments, to the making up and finally knowing the truth.

To falling in love with him.

I’d found him again. The guy I’d always wanted, ever since I was little. I’d found him and I loved him and I couldn’t have him. And it hurt, it killed, it ripped me apart from the inside out but I couldn’t show it, no one could know how I felt.

As much as it killed me.