Living on Perfectly Remembered Memories

"Oh and Franchesa, there's food in the fridge if Mr. Sanders and I aren't back on time."

"Okay mom! We get the point! Just go!" I grumbled, pushing her out the door.

"Oh and Franchesa, please watch over Matt! Especially Matt!" mom shouted over her shoulder to Fran who was standing in front of the door.

I led her to the car, opening and closing it for her so she could leave with dad. They waved bye to me before driving off. I watched them turn the corner and I sighed.

My mom asked my best friend to watch over my sister and me. I'm old enough to stay home for hours at a time or even a whole day. I can baby sit Amy; I've done it tons of times. She even lets me to go to parties whenever I want to! Why is my babysitter my best friend who's only two weeks older than me? It's a cruel world.

I walked up to my room finding Kenny playing on my Playstation and Franchesa brushing Amy's hair while sitting on my bed. I was so ready to lay down on it. I claim the desk and chair then.

I turned the lamp on and took out the paper I've been drawing on for weeks. I'm almost done with it. I just needed to color the right spots.

"Amy, you have such beautiful blond hair unlike someone I know," Fran yawned.

"Thank you!" Amy nearly screamed.

I shut my eyes, gritting my teeth together. "Do you want me to go blond?" I muttered.

"You would too. You've worn make-up before and you polish your nails black," Fran laughed.

I looked at my nails. Most of the black chipped away. "Shut up!" I seethed.

I heard her soft footsteps coming near me. "What are you doing?" she questioned. I took a long sigh as she ran her fingers through my short hair.

"Tattoo design," I managed to say.

Her movements stopped for a second before she continued her pattern. "You have another three years Matty."

"It doesn't hurt to be prepared."

She stayed quiet. I stopped drawing and leaned my head back against her hand. The feeling of her gentle fingers combing against my scalp felt so good. I might have moaned slightly a few times.

All too soon, Kenny called her name, asking her for help on the game. Her touch immediately disbanded from my head, leaving me breathless. I wish she could do that for hours.

The parents came home a few hours after their departure. Dad generously decided to take our little protégés out for ice cream. Mom hung around the backyard, tending to her garden. That left Franchesa and I alone in my room. Maybe I could get her to play with my hair again.

In one quick motion, I turned my lamp off and put my drawing into a secured folder. I stretched in my chair, almost toppling over from leaning too far back.

Fran coughed. I looked at her upside down. "Matty, can I talk to you outside?"

I nodded and followed her outside to my front porch. I'm confused, what does she want to talk about that we can't talk about inside?

We both took a seat next to each other on lawn chairs already laid out. "What do you want to talk about?" I asked.

I watched her intently, waiting for her to look back at me. She did with a pained expression.

"Why do you have a bruise on your neck?" she whispered, two tears falling down her face.

Fuck, how did she see that? Oh my god, she saw it when she was playing with my hair. Of course! The light was shining on my neck and it gave her perfect access to see the fading black and blue. Play it cool, Matt, play it cool.

"I don't."

"Really?" She touched my neck and rubbed it extra hard. I pushed her hand away. "You're a bad liar. You can't lie to me. I'm your best friend, idiot."

I sighed, still holding the spot she rubbed. "I got into a fight."

"Why?"

"It was with Oceanview's football team."

"Why?"

When was she going to say something else besides "why"? "Cause they were cocky and started shit."

"And that makes you get into a fight with them? Look at your neck. You could've been in the hospital!"

That was the point she stood up, her fists shaking, and her tears flowed down her face. I got up from my chair, staring down at her. She glared at me, anger in her eyes. I placed my hands on her shoulders. "But I'm not and that's the important thing."

She slapped my hands away. That actually hurt. "Be serious Matt."

"I am," I replied calmly.

"Sure. I'm going home." She stepped away from me, heading for the steps.

"No don't!" I cried and grabbed her forearm. She let me pull her towards my chest and wrap my arms around her body. She didn't hug me back but she was shaking slightly.

I gulped at the next thing I was going to tell her. I couldn't tell her this. It'd break our trust and she'd be so angry with me. I have to do it though; I might as well.

"This isn't the first fight I've been in. I've fought for years, ever since elementary," I whispered into her hair.

My chest muffled her voice since she hid her face in it. "Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"Cause you'd worry."

"No I-"

I chuckled. "You're a bad liar too. 'I'm your best friend, idiot.' I don't think you realize how bad I am," I said in all honesty.

She removed her face from my body and looked into my eyes. Her gray-green eyes; they're so beautiful. They were almost as beautiful as her. She blinked once, two more tears falling from her sad eyes. "I guess I don't," she said, frowning.

"Please don't be mad. I get into fights because people mess with me," I begged.

"Yeah, yeah. They push your buttons too far. I'm not mad, by the way, just disappointed you let them get to you like that."

I felt her mood lighten considerably. That was always a good sign.

"I know. I'm not proud of it. I never wanted you to know…" I trailed off. I found interest in a bird across the street. I couldn't see her face right now. I know she'd give me that look. She was going to look at me like my mom would look at me when I did something wrong.

"Matty?" she whispered.

I sighed. The seriousness of this conversation was over. Thank god. I don't like things to be overly serious with Fran. I don't know why, I just don't.

"Yeah?" I decided to look at her again. Her eyes were red from crying but the shaking was gone.

Her eyebrows scrunched together. "You…would never get angry at me that you'd hit me, would you?"

My eyes almost popped out of their sockets. "Of course not!" I roared. "I could never hurt you. NEVER."

I mentally slapped myself for screaming. That would only scare her. I need to think before I say something! But to my surprise, she was smiling. It was a real smile, not a forced one.

She sighed, hugging herself to my body. "I love you."

"I-...me too." Oh my god, I almost said the L word. No, no, no. I can't say it. I can't say it to her, never.