Goodbye

I can honestly say you’ve been on my mind
Since I woke up today, up today
I look at your photograph all the time
These memories come back to life
And I don’t mind

Of course. I had to dream about him. Those flashbacks I’ve been having for the last, what, week now? They all came together and created one massive dream that, go figure, I had to have the night before winter formal.

I look up to our picture over the mantel in my room, where we looked so happy together. What was that, two years ago? Right when we first started dating. He’d been on break from tour, and had taken a plane on his day off to come back up to LA to visit me.

“Nick, you’re crazy,” I bleated between giggles, doubling over. We stood in my backyard, under the shade of the large oak tree in the far corner.

“Not crazy,” he corrected, wrapping his arms round my waist, standing me up straight. “Just creative.”

“But a trap door?” I leaned my head back onto his shoulder, looking up at him. “Aren’t your parents worried about Joe? I mean, he could get hurt.”

“Luce, he could hurt himself worse walking down the street.” I rolled my eyes.

“True, true.” I smiled. “Like Ohio. When he tripped over the line in the sidewalk?” He laughed and buried his head in the crook of my neck. Inhaling deeply, I closed my eyes. This was the way it should be. Even then, I could tell that this was a good relationship in the making.

“And besides,” he started, his voice muffled. “I designed the whole thing. It’s gonna work perfectly. I wouldn’t kill my brother. Intentionally.” He muttered the last part, and I laughed harder.

“Nick!” I fake gasped. “You bad boy. Maybe I shouldn’t have agreed to be your girlfriend. You’re too bad of an influence.” I hid a smirk and tried to step away, but his arms tightened around me.

“Oh no you don’t!” I grabbed at his hands and tried to get out, giggling, and finally got away, running around the tree. He laughed and started running after me, catching up as I ran to the other side of the tree, my back against the bumpy bark. My chest rose quickly with each breath, and I full on grinned as he stood in front of me, his hands bracing the tree on either side of my head. “You shouldn’t have done that,” he said, smiling.

“Oh yeah?” I cocked an eyebrow and put one of my feet against the tree, balancing on the other one. “What’re you gonna do about it? Write a song?” I laughed at my own joke, shortly, before looking up. There was something in his eyes. A sort of smoldering, passionate burning in the back of them that I hadn’t seen before.

“No,” he whispered, one hand coming down, off of the tree to cup my cheek, his thumb stroking it gently. “But I might do this.” Before I could open my mouth, he dipped down and brushed his lips against mine. I could smell his after-shave, and taste the remnants of cinnamon on his mouth from the Coffee Cake Mom’d made us for a snack. He bent back, looking at me. I was sure I looked like a crazy person, my eyes wide, one hand touching my lips, which felt tingly and warm. The look in his eyes was somewhat triumphant at fist, but seeing my face, a sort of guilty look washed over him.

“I-I…” he stuttered, stepping back. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.” I snapped out of my momentary shock, and my eyes widened further.

“No,” I said, finding my balance on two feet and stepping towards him. “Nick, it’s ok.” I turned back to look at me, surprised. “It’s fine.” My hand drifted up towards his cheek, and I stepped even closer. “It’s…great.” And with that, I stood on my tiptoes to match his height, and pressed my lips against his, my hand sliding into his curls.

Our first kiss.

I remember when we kissed
I still feel it on my lips
The time that you danced with me
When no music played

“You know, Winter Formal’s coming up,” I said, brushing my bangs out of my face to look him in the eye. We were laying down on my bed, flipping through channels and stuffing popcorn into each other’s mouths. “Holly and Taylor already have dates.” I smiled widely as he held a piece of popcorn out in front of me and leaned forward, using my teeth to grab it out of his fingers and chewing it slowly. “You should have seen Holly when Nathan asked her. It was too cute.” He nodded and looked back at the TV, holding the remote up and changing the channel. He finally decided on Syfy, which was playing Dr. Who, one of our favorite shows. “He had a pizza guy deliver to her homeroom. He wrote ‘Will you go to formal with me?’ on it in M&M’s.” I grinned and he just nodded again.

“That’s cool,” he said. He wasn’t really paying attention to me.

“Carlos asked Taylor. She said yes.”

“Awesome.” I almost choked on the popcorn he’d handed me. The Carlos thing had been a joke. Yes, he’d asked her. But had she said yes to that perverted, drooling dog? Not a chance in hell. Nick knew the ongoing battle between Taylor and Carlos. He was really out of it. Wasn’t paying the slightest attention to me. What the heck?

“Nick, I think I’m pregnant.” He nodded again, and put a piece of popcorn in his mouth, chewing. And then, after a second, he seemed to realize what I’d said. And inhaled his popcorn.

“Wh-what??” he said between gasps of breath. “You’re p-pregnant?!” I hid a giggle as I patted him on the back, trying to prevent choking.

“I was kidding. You weren’t paying attention to what I was saying.”

“Yes I was!” he said, settling himself back on the bed. I rolled my eyes.

“You said it was awesome that Taylor had said yes to Carlos when he’d asked her to the winter formal.” He looked back at me, stunned. I laughed and pat him on the head. “It’s ok. She didn’t really. She’s going with Evan.” He let out a sigh of relief. I smiled, giving him a quick peck on the cheek. “What’s going on with you?” I asked, laying back on his chest. “You seem really out of it.” He let out a deep breath, closing his eyes.

“I don’t know. I think maybe it’s just tour prep getting to me,” he said. I glanced up at him and then back to the TV. “We’ve been planning this world tour for almost a month now, and we’re no-where near being done. And with Kenny gone, it’s a lot harder doing things on our own.” Kenny Ortega, who’d been helping plan the guys’ tours since the Best Of Both Worlds way back when (not that I’d seen any of those shows…Miley and I didn’t exactly get along), was off in England helping Michael Jackson brainstorm his newest world tour. It was cool, yeah. What wasn’t was leaving the guys high and dry. I, personally, had proposed that Mr. High School Musical get is ass on the next plane back ASAP to help do the finishing touches of Nick and his brother’s tour. Nick, on the other hand, had said that using Big Rob as a threat, as I’d proposed to get him on said plane, was both mean and cruel. Yeah, I was a bit biased. So sue me.

“You’re just tired,” I said, snuggling closer to him. “You need a break. Have some fun.”

“This is fun.” He gestured to the TV. I let out a snort.

“Oh yeah. Loads.” He smiled, kissing the top of my head.

“Well…” he started, “I was thinking about asking you to that Winter Formal, but…” I sat up, shocked, and looked at him.

“But what?”

“I can’t dance,” he admitted. I laughed. Hard.

“Of course you can! I’ve seen you dance on stage! And in all the videos!”

“Not slow dancing…” he said quietly. I smiled.

“Get up.”

“What?”

“Get up!” I grabbed his hand and tried pulling him up off the bed with me. Didn’t work so well. “Nick, come on!”

“What’re you doing, Lucy?”

“I’m gonna teach you how to dance!” I exclaimed, pulling again. “Come on! I used to ballroom dance professionally, remember? Who better to learn it from!” Eight years of experience comes in handy every once in a while.

“Are you nuts?” He sat back on the bed.

“Yes. Now get up!” I finally got him up on his feet, and pulled him over to the clearing in my room. I pushed my beanie bag chairs out of the way with my feet and pulled him towards me. “Here we go.” I smiled and grabbed his hand, my other arm steadying him and resting on his shoulder.

“You are crazy.” He laughed and stood there, holding one hand.

“Yep, now…” I moved my hand from his shoulder and took his other one, placing it on my waist, and then moving mine back to his shoulder. “There we go. Now, look at our feet.” He looked down, and I started to move mine in a simple two step. “Do what I’m doing.” He watched for a second, and then tried. “Almost. Try smaller steps.” He did, and did it almost perfectly. “There you go!”

“I’m dancing!” he called, his hand squeezing my waist tighter. “I’m really dancing.” He watched his feet still, so I moved my hand under his chin and lifted it up, to where he was looking me in my eyes. “You’re a great teacher.” I blushed and looked down, still moving my feet. He laughed and squeezed my hand. “You are!”

“Well, you’re a great student.” We both smiled. And then he tried to dip me. And actually did it. “Whoa.” I stared at him. “That was, like…perfect!” He laughed.

“I’m a quick learner.” I looked at him, and then gasped.

“Hey! You can dance!” He smiled. “You lied to me!”

“Ok, ok!” he said, pulling me closer. “Maybe I fibbed a bit. But I just wanted an excuse to dance with you.” He grinned, that irresistible Jonas grin, and leaned his forehead against mine. I rolled my eyes.

“You would do that.” He laughed, pecking my lips. “You’re forgiven,” I said. “This time.”

“So…” He twirled me, and laughing, I came back to him, my arms falling against his chest, and then wrapping around his neck. He wrapped his around my waist. “Wanna go to formal with me?” he asked. I looked up at him, eyes wide.

“Of course!” He smiled, kissing the top of my head. I leaned me head against his.

Everything was perfect. Absolutely perfect.

That was three weeks ago.