Status: Complete :)
Goodbye
And Through My Tears I Sang Along
But I remember those simple things
I remember till I cry
But the one thing I wish I’d forget
The memory I wanna forget
Is goodbye
The next day, Nick left LA to go visit some family back in Dallas. Or so he’d told me.
“And I was like ‘Uhm, no sorry, I’ve already got a date.’” Nick laughed into the phone.
“Yep, you do.” I smiled, and pulled my Calc homework closer to me on the bed, scanning over that night’s homework. Three short, quick beeps went off, and I pulled the phone from my ear, looking at the caller ID.
“Mommmm!” I called, pulling the phone to my neck so I wasn’t screaming into it. “Dad’s calling on the other line! I’m on the phone with Nick! Can you call him from your cell?”
“Sure hun! Tell Nick I said hi!”
“Will do!” I pulled the phone back up to my ear. “Mom says hi.” He laughed. “So what are you up to?”
“Oh, nothing. Just…” He paused. “Just walking around the hotel. You know. The usual.”
“Mmm-hmmm…” I answered a problem on the sheet in front of me and adjusted the phone on my shoulder. “Who ya with? Joe? Tell him I said hi.”
“No,” he said shortly. “Joe’s not here.” And that’s when I heard it.
“Nickyyyyy!” a girls voice in the background called in a southern drawl. “Who’s asking for Joe? Oh, is that sweet girl Camilla?” There were sounds of the phone being taken and the voice got closer. I tried to place it. “Hi Camillla!” she said. And the voice clicked.
“Miley?” I asked. What. The. Fuck.
“Hey doll! I’ve been trying to squeeze your number out of Joe, but he won’t…”
I heard Nick whisper something to her and then there was a soft call of “Shit!” before the phone was passed again.
“Lucy? You there?” I set my pencil down on the bed and stood up, starting to pace.
“I’m here, Nick.” He didn’t say anything for a while, so I talked for him. “What’s Miley doing in Texas? Wasn’t she supposed to be filming some movie in Tennessee this month?”
“Yeah…” He trailed off. I took a deep breath.
“Nick, where are you? And be honest.”
“I’m in Dallas, like I told you!” I fought the urge to roll my eyes.
“Yeah right, Nick. If you’re in Dallas, then I’m a fucking princess.” I gripped the side of my armoire for support.
“Lucy, you have to believe me. I swear, I’m in Dallas, just let me-
“This is Bull, Nick, and you know it.” I stopped and took a deep breath. “You know what? I’m done dealing with this shit. You and Miley have a happy little Disney humpfest. I’m through. Goodbye.”
Before he could protest, I pulled the phone away from my ear and pressed the little red button. It was done. Nick and I were through.
I cried through the night and didn’t sleep a wink.
I woke up this morning and played our song
And through my tears, I sang along
I picked up the phone and then put it down
Cause I know I’m waisting my time
And I don’t mind
“You are my sunshine,
My only sunshine
You make me happ-”
I ripped the phone of my bedside table and unlocked it, effectively cutting off Nick’s angelic voice blasting through my speakers. Damn alarms. Damn voice memos. Damn ringtones.
“Lucy, you up?” Mom called. I fought the sobs resting at the back of my throat and answered.
“Yeah, Mom! Just got up!”
“You better hurry!” she yelled back. “Holly and Taylor will be here in half an hour. You have your High on Life meeting this morning!”
“I know!” I stood, automatically going towards my bathroom after turning on my Chi on my vanity. As soon as I was done washing my face, I grabbed my phone again and went to my iPod, putting my favorite get-ready playlist on shuffle. The same playlist I’d gotten ready to every morning since the beginning of the year. But I hadn’t listened to it since last Wednesday. The day Nick and I broke up. I fought another sob as I started pinning my hair up to the beat of “Who’s Got Your Money Now.” I guess I wasn’t in the mood to listen to music.
I hadn’t gone to school the day after. Mom’d found me Thursday morning still bawling in bed. Nick’s usual alarm had woken me up, and I’d started crying again. And after a few failed attempts at standing up, she’d deemed me to sleep deprived to even get out of bed.
I’d slept through all of Thursday and most of Thursday night. I woke up around ten to find seventeen missed called, eleven from Nick, four from Holly and three from Taylor. I hadn’t called Nick back, and as for the girls, neither of them had been told what had happened.
Or so I’d thought.
But Friday morning when I showed up for school, looking (according to Taylor) disheveled and messy, in other words, unlike my usual self, they’d immediately ushered me to the girls bathroom, explaining that my mother had told them what she knew (a phone call from Nick had made her aware of our break up). For the twenty minutes before class, with the aid of Holly’s mini Chi she stashed in her gym locker and Taylor’s always stocked make up bag, they’d made me somewhat presentable and through all my sobs and hick-ups I’d managed to tell them everything that’d happened.
And I’d made it through the week. Barely.
But when I finished my hair and was trying to find a suitable shirt twenty five minutes later, the song that came on made tears brim on the edges of my eyes and I had to sit down on the edge of my bed so that I wouldn’t stumble and hurt myself.
“What did I do to your heart?
What did I do to your heart?
Did I break it apart?
Did I break it? Your heart.”
This was one of our songs.
One of the few on the albums that were about me. Nick barely put any of our private ones on any album. He knew that most of them would be too obvious and I’d have screaming fan girls chasing me down Rodeo Drive if they heard the lyrics. But when it came to this one…it’d been a mistake. At the time they were finishing the final cuts for songs, Nick’d recorded What Did I Do for me and only me, as a way of showing me how crazy I’d been acting. We’d gotten into a big fight over Miley (go figure) and all the time they’d been spending together. Nick tried to explain that it was because they were doing the duet on the album, but we were so pissed at each other by the time they had to decide which songs went onto the album that he had Joe record this one with him and it ended up on it.
I laughed about it in the end. It was a damn catchy song and it was fun to dance to.
But this was the first time I’d heard it since…you know.
I sat on the bed until the song ended. I prayed and prayed that another one of their songs didn’t come on, but what I got was worse.
When the first few chords rung out, my tears finally spilled over. And the sobs started. They wracked my body, leaving me gasping for breath as the chorus played. I tried to sing along as I laid back down on my bed, snuggling with a pillow that still smelled like him.
“I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven.”
Taylor and Holly walked in during the bridge.
“Lucy? Lucy your mom let us in! You re-”
I heard the door creak open, and someone gasped.
“Oh, honey!” Taylor drawled, her Georgian accent clear as day. The both came to the other side of the bed where I was facing and knelt down, getting to eye level.
“He really fucked you up, didn’t he?” Holly asked, tucking a piece of tear-soaked hair behind my ear. I smiled. Holly-ever appropriate. I nodded slowly and sat up, trying to wipe my tears away as the song faded out.
And then the next song started. I felt a pang in my chest as “Party in the USA” by Miss Teen Whore USA herself came on. But the pang felt good. It felt better than sad. Better then depressed. The only two emotions I’d felt for the past week.
It was a spark of motivation. Motivation to get ready for school, walking down that hallway looking kick ass. Reminding everyone that yeah, I was Nick Jonas’ ex. One of the few and the proud (Well, proud in my case. Selena-Not so much). But I was damned if I was gonna let him ruin my Winter Formal. And I think that’s what Holly and Taylor were thinking about too.
“Als, you gotta stop letting him get to you.” Taylor reached across to my bedside table and turned off my iPod, ending the surge of motivation and good feeling. I crashed back down on the pillow, my face smushed.
“I know,” I heard my own muffled voice say.
“Have you returned any of his calls?” I sat up at Holly’s blunt words.
“No…why would I?” She and Taylor exchanged a worried glance, and I was confused, but brushed it off.
“Come on,” Holly said. “We’ll help you get ready. We have to be in the Caf in…” She looked at her phone. “Twenty minutes. We can fix you up by then.”
They did. And yesterday, I made it to school fine. I even laughed at lunch for the first time in a while. But when today rolled around…that’s a different story.
I remember till I cry
But the one thing I wish I’d forget
The memory I wanna forget
Is goodbye
The next day, Nick left LA to go visit some family back in Dallas. Or so he’d told me.
“And I was like ‘Uhm, no sorry, I’ve already got a date.’” Nick laughed into the phone.
“Yep, you do.” I smiled, and pulled my Calc homework closer to me on the bed, scanning over that night’s homework. Three short, quick beeps went off, and I pulled the phone from my ear, looking at the caller ID.
“Mommmm!” I called, pulling the phone to my neck so I wasn’t screaming into it. “Dad’s calling on the other line! I’m on the phone with Nick! Can you call him from your cell?”
“Sure hun! Tell Nick I said hi!”
“Will do!” I pulled the phone back up to my ear. “Mom says hi.” He laughed. “So what are you up to?”
“Oh, nothing. Just…” He paused. “Just walking around the hotel. You know. The usual.”
“Mmm-hmmm…” I answered a problem on the sheet in front of me and adjusted the phone on my shoulder. “Who ya with? Joe? Tell him I said hi.”
“No,” he said shortly. “Joe’s not here.” And that’s when I heard it.
“Nickyyyyy!” a girls voice in the background called in a southern drawl. “Who’s asking for Joe? Oh, is that sweet girl Camilla?” There were sounds of the phone being taken and the voice got closer. I tried to place it. “Hi Camillla!” she said. And the voice clicked.
“Miley?” I asked. What. The. Fuck.
“Hey doll! I’ve been trying to squeeze your number out of Joe, but he won’t…”
I heard Nick whisper something to her and then there was a soft call of “Shit!” before the phone was passed again.
“Lucy? You there?” I set my pencil down on the bed and stood up, starting to pace.
“I’m here, Nick.” He didn’t say anything for a while, so I talked for him. “What’s Miley doing in Texas? Wasn’t she supposed to be filming some movie in Tennessee this month?”
“Yeah…” He trailed off. I took a deep breath.
“Nick, where are you? And be honest.”
“I’m in Dallas, like I told you!” I fought the urge to roll my eyes.
“Yeah right, Nick. If you’re in Dallas, then I’m a fucking princess.” I gripped the side of my armoire for support.
“Lucy, you have to believe me. I swear, I’m in Dallas, just let me-
“This is Bull, Nick, and you know it.” I stopped and took a deep breath. “You know what? I’m done dealing with this shit. You and Miley have a happy little Disney humpfest. I’m through. Goodbye.”
Before he could protest, I pulled the phone away from my ear and pressed the little red button. It was done. Nick and I were through.
I cried through the night and didn’t sleep a wink.
I woke up this morning and played our song
And through my tears, I sang along
I picked up the phone and then put it down
Cause I know I’m waisting my time
And I don’t mind
“You are my sunshine,
My only sunshine
You make me happ-”
I ripped the phone of my bedside table and unlocked it, effectively cutting off Nick’s angelic voice blasting through my speakers. Damn alarms. Damn voice memos. Damn ringtones.
“Lucy, you up?” Mom called. I fought the sobs resting at the back of my throat and answered.
“Yeah, Mom! Just got up!”
“You better hurry!” she yelled back. “Holly and Taylor will be here in half an hour. You have your High on Life meeting this morning!”
“I know!” I stood, automatically going towards my bathroom after turning on my Chi on my vanity. As soon as I was done washing my face, I grabbed my phone again and went to my iPod, putting my favorite get-ready playlist on shuffle. The same playlist I’d gotten ready to every morning since the beginning of the year. But I hadn’t listened to it since last Wednesday. The day Nick and I broke up. I fought another sob as I started pinning my hair up to the beat of “Who’s Got Your Money Now.” I guess I wasn’t in the mood to listen to music.
I hadn’t gone to school the day after. Mom’d found me Thursday morning still bawling in bed. Nick’s usual alarm had woken me up, and I’d started crying again. And after a few failed attempts at standing up, she’d deemed me to sleep deprived to even get out of bed.
I’d slept through all of Thursday and most of Thursday night. I woke up around ten to find seventeen missed called, eleven from Nick, four from Holly and three from Taylor. I hadn’t called Nick back, and as for the girls, neither of them had been told what had happened.
Or so I’d thought.
But Friday morning when I showed up for school, looking (according to Taylor) disheveled and messy, in other words, unlike my usual self, they’d immediately ushered me to the girls bathroom, explaining that my mother had told them what she knew (a phone call from Nick had made her aware of our break up). For the twenty minutes before class, with the aid of Holly’s mini Chi she stashed in her gym locker and Taylor’s always stocked make up bag, they’d made me somewhat presentable and through all my sobs and hick-ups I’d managed to tell them everything that’d happened.
And I’d made it through the week. Barely.
But when I finished my hair and was trying to find a suitable shirt twenty five minutes later, the song that came on made tears brim on the edges of my eyes and I had to sit down on the edge of my bed so that I wouldn’t stumble and hurt myself.
“What did I do to your heart?
What did I do to your heart?
Did I break it apart?
Did I break it? Your heart.”
This was one of our songs.
One of the few on the albums that were about me. Nick barely put any of our private ones on any album. He knew that most of them would be too obvious and I’d have screaming fan girls chasing me down Rodeo Drive if they heard the lyrics. But when it came to this one…it’d been a mistake. At the time they were finishing the final cuts for songs, Nick’d recorded What Did I Do for me and only me, as a way of showing me how crazy I’d been acting. We’d gotten into a big fight over Miley (go figure) and all the time they’d been spending together. Nick tried to explain that it was because they were doing the duet on the album, but we were so pissed at each other by the time they had to decide which songs went onto the album that he had Joe record this one with him and it ended up on it.
I laughed about it in the end. It was a damn catchy song and it was fun to dance to.
But this was the first time I’d heard it since…you know.
I sat on the bed until the song ended. I prayed and prayed that another one of their songs didn’t come on, but what I got was worse.
When the first few chords rung out, my tears finally spilled over. And the sobs started. They wracked my body, leaving me gasping for breath as the chorus played. I tried to sing along as I laid back down on my bed, snuggling with a pillow that still smelled like him.
“I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven.”
Taylor and Holly walked in during the bridge.
“Lucy? Lucy your mom let us in! You re-”
I heard the door creak open, and someone gasped.
“Oh, honey!” Taylor drawled, her Georgian accent clear as day. The both came to the other side of the bed where I was facing and knelt down, getting to eye level.
“He really fucked you up, didn’t he?” Holly asked, tucking a piece of tear-soaked hair behind my ear. I smiled. Holly-ever appropriate. I nodded slowly and sat up, trying to wipe my tears away as the song faded out.
And then the next song started. I felt a pang in my chest as “Party in the USA” by Miss Teen Whore USA herself came on. But the pang felt good. It felt better than sad. Better then depressed. The only two emotions I’d felt for the past week.
It was a spark of motivation. Motivation to get ready for school, walking down that hallway looking kick ass. Reminding everyone that yeah, I was Nick Jonas’ ex. One of the few and the proud (Well, proud in my case. Selena-Not so much). But I was damned if I was gonna let him ruin my Winter Formal. And I think that’s what Holly and Taylor were thinking about too.
“Als, you gotta stop letting him get to you.” Taylor reached across to my bedside table and turned off my iPod, ending the surge of motivation and good feeling. I crashed back down on the pillow, my face smushed.
“I know,” I heard my own muffled voice say.
“Have you returned any of his calls?” I sat up at Holly’s blunt words.
“No…why would I?” She and Taylor exchanged a worried glance, and I was confused, but brushed it off.
“Come on,” Holly said. “We’ll help you get ready. We have to be in the Caf in…” She looked at her phone. “Twenty minutes. We can fix you up by then.”
They did. And yesterday, I made it to school fine. I even laughed at lunch for the first time in a while. But when today rolled around…that’s a different story.
♠ ♠ ♠
So, this is part two out of three.The shortest, by far, but the most important.
Whatdya think?
Part 3 will be up soon :)
<333