So This Is Love

“Why on earth would you just storm off like that? Are you possessed?”

That was the first thing I heard when I stepped through the door as I returned home after talking with Gerard for hours more. My mother was yelling at me, already getting on my nerves. I swear I should just run away and live in Guatemala.

“Sorry,” I muttered without emotion.

“Sorry? All you have to say is sorry? You stood up Rachel when you ran off! The two of you were to have lunch today, but of course you had to ruin it, just like you do with a lot of things,” she said.

“Alright, I'm getting sick of your rudeness,” I told her. I was tired of her always talking down on me. “I don’t care what you want anymore Mom. I don’t have to get married y’know! I could easily separate myself form this family and live a happy and normal life. I'm an adult now, and I do not have to take orders from the two of you,” I said, pointing at them.

“Frank, don’t you dare go to your room. I know that you don’t think you're getting off that easily. You're going to –“

I didn’t even listen to her finish talking, but stormed off to my room. I was sick of my mother at the moment. I don’t see why she can't understand. My cell phone rang, and it was the one person that I didn’t want to speak to at the moment.

“Hello?” I asked.

“Frank? Are you okay?” Rachel asked, sounding distressed.

“Perfectly fine,” I lied.

“Why’d you run out on me? We were supposed to have lunch,” she complained.

“I'm sorry Rachel, but I don’t really want to talk to anyone right now, especially you or my parents. Right now, I want to be alone and crawl into a dark hole and live out my wildest fantasies from when I was a kid. I want to go back to those days,” I said, closing my phone and turning it off.

I stared at the ceiling for literally hours. I didn’t want to move, think, or sleep, anything, really. I wanted to escape this life I'm beginning to call hell. What was I thinking? I don’t want to be married to a total stranger. I thought that you were at least supposed to know if your future spouse was compatible with you before you marry them. It should be a completely mutual commitment, not something that mommy and daddy want you to do. Shit. I was so screwed.

I turned my phone back on and called Zachary. I noticed that there were eight missed calls – all from Rachel.

“Hello Frankie,” Zachary said as he answered the phone.

“Hey Zach, um, do you think that we could maybe flee to Guatemala?” I asked him.

“Frank, why do you want to run away? The girl can't be that bad, can she?” he asked.

“It’s not so much her as it is our relationship. I don’t want to marry a stranger, Zach. She could turn out to have a weird, disturbing fetish or hates men and tries to kill me or just wants the money that I’ll inherit when my parents die. Now seriously, pack your bags, we’re going to Guatemala,” I said. The sad thing was, was that I was actually being pretty serious. I had enough money in my bank to set us both (Zach and I) somewhere in a foreign country, and my parents wouldn’t know shit.

“Frankie, calm down,” he said, taking note in how serious I actually was. “I think that we need to talk in person for a while and discuss things.”

“I wanna know what it’s like to be with a guy,” I randomly blurted out. Crap; I had word vomit. This only happened when I was really freaked out.

“Whoa, you want to have a gay experience?” he asked, sounding interested.

“No,” I lied.

“Um, Frank, I’d advise you to see a therapist or a counselor of some sort. Clearly there's something wrong with you if you're just admitting this kind of stuff to me. I want you to get a good nights’ sleep tonight and then tomorrow we can meet up somewhere and talk, all right?” he asked.

“That’s fine,” I said quietly.

“All right… ‘night Frank.”

“’Night,” I said as we both hung up the phone.

I just knew that I wasn’t going to get much sleep tonight. I didn’t even bother with getting into bed by knowing that fact. Instead, I got online. I went to Google.

How to get out of an arranged marriage.

I hit ‘enter’ and thousands of results came up. I looked at page after page, and nothing really helped, seeing as a lot of them were from a girls’ point of view. I guess I could just run away and live somewhere else, maybe even bring a friend to keep me company.

The doorbell in my room sounded, signaling that I had to come downstairs. Yeah, it’s a doorbell. It sucks because it’s so loud and annoying. They put it in my room so they wouldn’t have to shout for me to come downstairs for whatever reason.

I sighed and closed my laptop, going downstairs. I saw my Mom and Dad sitting in one of the living rooms.

“Yes?” I asked, not wanting to talk to either of them.

“You seem upset about the marriage,” my Mom began.

Yeah, no shit Mom.

“Why did you change your mind?” my Dad asked.

“Because… I don’t even know Rachel,” I said. “She's a total stranger to me and while she could be my soul mate or whatever, I’d prefer to get to know her before I jump off and marry her, and the fact that the two of you are forcing me to marry her just makes things worse.”

My parents looked at each other for a few minutes. They were so weird.

“Frank, regardless of what you just said, you're still getting married to her. She's a lovely girl and I'm sure that once the two of you have settled down and gotten to know each other, that you'll become the perfect couple,” my Mom said.

“But that’s not what I want,” I whined. “I don’t want to get to know her after we’re married. What if we hate each other and then get a divorce, huh? What’re ya gonna do then?”

“Frank, I don’t want to hear your opinion on this. You're getting married to Rachel Sinclair and that’s final. Go to your room if you want act like a rebel,” my Mom said.

“Well you know what Mom? Maybe I will act like a rebel. Maybe I’ll cut my hair, dye it black, and get some piercings and tattoos. Then we’ll see if Rachel still wants to marry me,” I said before stomping back up to my room.

I was so sick of these people.

I threw myself on my bed and screamed into my pillow. I felt like destroying the whole fucking house.

There was a knock on my door.

“Go away,” I said loudly into the pillow.

“Frank,” I heard my Dad say as he opened the door.

I sat up and looked at him. Thank god my Mom wasn’t with him.

“What?” I asked.

“Frank… I know that this is unfair, and honestly, if I could have it another way, I would. I wouldn’t make you get married. Your Mom’s kind of being a bitch about the whole thing because she thinks that this is what’s best for you,” he said. I looked at him completely shocked; this was the first time that he's ever really expressed his feelings to me, especially about my Mom. “I personally don’t want you to get married to someone that you don’t want to, but your Mom runs our lives son. Just stay strong and get a divorce if you really don’t like Rachel,” he said, patting my shoulder before leaving my room.

I was dumbfounded. Had he really just said that? I've never really talked with my Dad, but shit, he's pretty cool. Maybe I’ll take his advice.