Up to No Good

“I solemnly swear I'm up to no good,” Harry whispered with a smirk, actually meaning the words, as the tip of his wand tapped against an apparently empty piece of folded parchment. Soon ink began to erupt from the time-worn, yellow surface and it swirled to uncover the names of its makers, who, all but one, Harry had been holding deep inside his heart from the moment he'd learned the map's history.

An amazing history this map had, most definitely, Harry thought as his fingers traced the intricate patterns of Hogwarts' ancient hallways and secret passages. He found the one he'd been looking for and headed in its direction after checking the Marauders' masterpiece for any other conscious presence besides his own.

The Invisibility Cloak was wrapped around Harry's lean frame as always while he sauntered through the darkness, not daring to use the Lumos charm anymore. He woke up half the school portraits the last time and managed to run into Malfoy while still invisible. As much as it almost got him in trouble, seeing the shameless grimace of fear on Malfoy's colorless face was well worth it, Harry remembered with a grin.

But what made his lips stretch even wider was the pair of pacing footsteps waiting for him on the other side of the passage. Harry's greens twinkled behind his foggy glasses, each step bringing him closer to his destination. His teeth chattered in the sudden cold and he knew he was close... any second now he would see the tiny patch of light that seemed like a beacon to Harry, the final confirmation that he indeed was so deliciously near him yet again.

And there it was. His old gateway to Hogsmeade.

Not a minute later, Harry was outside, with only the soft trace of his footfalls in the pristine snow to prove his presence. The night around him was... well dark and cold obviously. But Harry was warm with expectation. His hands shivered, clutching the cloak tighter around his body, eyes searching in all directions, trying to catch a glimpse of him. His heart was beating its way out of his chest. It seemed to Harry as if its crazy thump-thumping was creating ripples in the air around him with its violent force.

Trying to be as quiet as possible, with his heart climbing to his throat, Harry made his way down to the Shrieking Shack, cheeks flushing from the strain of trying not to slip on the freshly fallen snow. He kept his eyes glued to the battered down edifice in front of him. It had always seemed so much smaller to him when he was looking at it from afar. Never mind that. He was there, Harry could feel him, practically smell him now – he was hiding. Just as Harry let that thought pass through his mind, a shuffling sound came at him from behind the house and he hurried towards it, wand at the ready, just in case.

But only mute darkness met him there.

Much too eager to finally lay eyes on him, Harry threw back his father's old Cloak and stuffed it in the back pocket of his jeans. His lifted his wand and summoned a small ball of light to its tip.

Harry's breath hitched when he finally emerged from behind the dilapidated fence that surrounded what had probably once been the back yard. Harry's eyes widened, pupils instantly dilating when his very own drug of choice stepped into view, instantly setting him off on the sweetest high of his life.

It had been so long since the last time, Harry thought as his feet slowly carried him towards his lover. His best friend. His everything.

His godfather.

Never once had it crossed his mind that this was wrong, what they had. That it was uncommon and socially frowned upon. Harry was aware of it, yes, but moments like this one made sure Harry never experienced anything even resembling a guilty conscience.

The violent surge of emotion that thundered through Harry's chest as Sirius grabbed him by the waist and pressed him close to his chest left Harry breathless. Moments later, Sirius' lips were on top of his own, pressing gently, breathing life back into him. Coming out of his daze, Harry locked his arms behind Sirius' neck and nipped at Sirius' bottom lip softly, ending their first kiss in months.

„Merlin's pants, I barely contained myself from sprinting over here the second I got your owl,“ Harry whispered excitedly, rubbing his nose against his godfather's. Sirius looked at him lovingly, stroking his unruly black hair.

After a long while, Sirius had finally remembered how to smile – all this time he was scared that he'd forgotten all about it. He was scared that his face had turned into stone, much like his heart. Yet the mere sight of Harry softened the hardness buried in his chest and released his face from its grimacing mask. Warmth spread through him like wildfire as he ushered Harry inside. He wanted to find the words to say all this, but nothing would come out. There was just too much of everything boiling inside him right now. He couldn't decide how or where to start. All he knew was the immense sense of relief that washed over him and he gave into it, his smile growing bigger, gray eyes lighting up and arms tightening around Harry's body as he watched him quietly, yet never more willing to speak.

“Say something,” Harry said smilingly, detaching himself from Sirius' tight embrace and starting the fire in the dirty mantelpiece in the centre of the room. Sirius was still observing him mutely while he was half-successfully transfiguring rotten pieces of wood into purple cushions and old newspaper into blankets. Sirius wordlessly flicked his wand and helped his godson, then crossed the room and pulled him into another fervent hug.

“I...,” he started, voice hoarse from not having used it in a while, “Every time I simply wanted to stop running and end it all, I thought of you. Of these meetings of ours,” He'd finally spoken quietly. “I am so sorry you had to wait for so long, Harry, I forget you're so young sometimes, you have your needs.”

Harry's eyes widened and he leaned his forehead against his godfather's, his whole body quaking with silent laughter. “Sirius, you fool, do you really think I'd ever do that to you?”

“No,” Sirius interrupted, “But...”

“Nothing but, Sirius, I don't need anyone else. No matter how rarely I get to see you... One moment of this,” Harry's fingers clutched at the slightly taller man's dirty robes, “Is worth more than a hundred of faceless hook ups back there in Hogwarts. I live for this.”

Sirius sighed in sweet defeat.

“Literally, fantasizing of you and of your fingers and lips and gasps and…” Harry smiled at Sirius’ speeding pulse, “ Is pretty much the only thing keeping me from hexing Snape into the next millennia,” Harry finished with a snort. “He's been such an annoying pain in my arse with his snide remarks lately, I've no idea what's gotten into him, he's worse than usual, I'm telling you. It’s been detention after detention with him ever since I last saw you.”

Sirius' chest rumbled with laughter and his dark hair swirled around his head as he fell upon one of the transfigured cushions. His smile however, had quickly changed into a pained grimace as he pulled out a rather big and purple, velvety splinter from his palm.

“You should pay more attention in McGonagall’s class, Harry,” Sirius commented, the corners of his mouth twitching.

“You could always tutor me,” Harry retorted, arching an eyebrow and biting his lip.

He plopped down next to him and tangled his fingers in Sirius' hair, tracing the single streak of gleaming silver that snaked through his godfather's black mane. Harry liked playing with it even though it had been a constant reminder of Sirius’ time spent in Azkaban prison. He didn’t like imagining what it was like for his godfather to be locked up in there, drowning in his own despair and all the while knowing he was innocent of the horrid crime he was accused of.

Harry gave an involuntary shudder and Sirius pulled him closer instinctively, burying his face in Harry’s messy hair. He trailed his lips down Harry’s cheek, to his jaw and proceeded to his neck, shifting so he could prop himself over the younger man. Sirius’ eyes were ardent with emotion, every muscle in his body screaming as he tried to restrain the violent fervor so he wouldn’t hurt the quivering mess of lithe limbs below him. He stopped his kisses every now and then so his grays could focus on Harry’s face, their hollowness slowly filling up with gentle affection.

“I want to make you better Sirius, I want to fix you,” Harry whispered, his breath grazing Sirius’ ear. He didn’t care how perfectly pathetic it sounded, he just wanted it, wanted to erase the haunted look from his lover’s eyes. Harry wanted that shadow that always lurked behind his godfather’s loving gaze to disappear and he wanted to be the one to banish it.

“You are making me better Harry,” Sirius breathed, “You and you alone,” he added, removing Harry’s shirt with shaky hands and pressing his lips against every inch of exposed skin. Harry gave a whimper in reply and pulled Sirius’ head to him, assaulting him lovingly, not knowing where to begin, how to demand the thing he wanted most right now.

Become one. Become one with Sirius. Now. Need. Must. Want. Lust. Crave. Touch. Become one. Become one with Sirius. “Please.”

Harry looked up at the older man pleadingly, small front teeth biting into a rosy lip, eyes glazed and swimming with desperate want. He was begging release, not just physical, Harry needed to feel again, that feeling when his chest seemed to implode with flames that would never ever die. It had been so so so excruciatingly long ago that he had felt like that – the first time he felt Sirius’ calloused fingers upon his skin. And back then, just like now, it felt as if he would die if Sirius ever stopped.

Harry was seventeen at the time and Sirius refused to let things escalate between them. Even though Harry was of age, he was just so afraid of breaking his frail body.
Today, Harry decided, he would leave him no choice. He was ready, he wanted it just as much as he knew Sirius needed it – to heal, to allow himself to feel once again.

There was no hopeless and freezing despair stealing into his soul now, there was no screams echoing inside his head, there was only Harry, his one shot at happiness and Harry begged him to seize it.

Fear engulfed the older man as pieces of clothing flew around them, landing helter-skelter over the dusty rotten floor.

It was his godson below him. Merlin’s hat, what was he doing?

“Sirius… come on, please, just…,” Harry struggled to speak evenly, “I feel like I’m going to die if I don’t have this tonight… I want to belong to you; I want to feel like I belong to you and only you.” His clammy hands drew patterns over Sirius’ inked chest, hips suddenly bucking and brushing up against Sirius’. “You have no idea what it’s like,” he continued, heavy breaths like thunder in the elder’s ears. “To be stuck in that castle, to lay awake at night with this all consuming fire burning in the pit of my stomach, in my chest, in my head…”

He took Sirius’ hand and led it further and further down until a long sigh came out of his throat and the fire inside his godfather exploded at the sound. His mind went berserk at the sight of Harry’s pink lips forming that small ‘o’ of pleasure upon the slightest touch of his rough hand.

Leaning his forehead against Harry’s shoulder he pulled the teen’s thighs apart and nestled between them, marveling at the softness of his skin. Propping himself up again, Sirius gazed down at the shivering figure beneath him, ready to be claimed with its green eyes glassy and wet lips parted, letting out small, short gasps of air, trembling with tension.

Harry’s hands grabbed onto Sirius’ shoulders, knuckles pale from the force he was using. Sirius planted a small kiss atop his nose and then attacked his lips with a slower, more passionate one, never closing his eyes.

“Just relax, trust me,” he whispered, ready to slip inside, lower back exploding with tension and careful restraint. Harry just nodded, small beads of sweat already rolling down his temples.

Sirius took a deep breath and lowered his face to Harry’s, their noses touching as he began to enter.

Suddenly the boy tensed.

“Stop!” Harry gasped, but didn’t let go of Sirius’ shoulders, keeping him as close as he was moments before. Sirius looked at him, questions swarming in his mind as Harry spoke:

“Will you still be here in the morning?” Harry asked quietly, legs tensing on either side of Sirius’ hips.

Sirius smiled and nodded, “Couldn’t leave even if I tried,” he answered, bringing a hand up to stroke his godson’s flushed cheek.

Harry’s legs locked around his waist slowly, entire body quaking then freezing as Sirius entered him gently. Harry’s arms wound around Sirius’ back, pulling him closer and closer still, more than eager to accept all the pain it was bringing as Sirius pulled back and slid in yet again, this time with more force, making Harry’s back arch beneath him, lips set into that perfect rosy ‘o’ again, eyes sliding shut.

“Open them,” the elder ordered softly, placing his elbows on either side of Harry’s chest so he could hold his face in his hands, mouths pressed together as their movement became faster, Harry’s hips met Sirius’ more urgently, skin pressing against skin, droplets of sweat mixing in and releasing the musky odor of pleasure into the surrounding air.

A scream tore itself from Harry’s already raw throat when that searing ball of pleasure inside him exploded, setting off fireworks in every inch of his body, eyes glued to the face of his lover rocking above him, relishing his reflection in his wild orbs as he picked up their pace, tearing another scream from Harry and another and yet another. With the strength he didn’t even know he had, Harry pushed his lover backwards, holding onto him tightly, and found himself on top suddenly. He pushed at Sirius’ tattooed chest, rising and descending in a fast, fervent rhythm, eyes darkening as he lowered to press their bodies closer together, noses touching yet again. Harry ran his nails along Sirius’ hands and shoulders, moving faster and faster still, intent on making the writhing body beneath him cry out in that final burst of ecstasy he himself felt coming on.

And sure enough, Sirius let out a series of loud cries that echoed in Harry’s ears making him prop himself up again and letting Sirius slip even deeper inside as the hotness suddenly spilled inside of him, making him erupt with unspeakable things. His need, his want, his pain, even his hate, his pleasure, his lust, his love, all reflected in Sirius’ eyes, came tearing out of him in waves upon waves of blinding hotness that kept making him shake and shiver until he finally collapsed on top of his godfather, unable to speak.

Sirius’ hands pulled him on top of his moist chest where they kept smoothing back wet strands of hair from his godson’s eyes, their hearts both beating in mad unison.

Harry’s head snapped up and he turned, placing his chin upon Sirius’ taut stomach and Sirius felt his breath knocked out of him when he was hit with the full force of the glimmering green in Harry’s eyes.

“I’m not leaving again,” he answered the silent question stirring behind all the emotion.

Still Harry didn’t look away, though his eyes were now positively radiating such happiness that Sirius tried not to blink as if afraid it would suddenly disappear and he would wake up into another lonesome morning.

Harry burst into laughter suddenly.

“What?” Sirius asked, amused.

“I was just thinking of something – “

“You’re able to think after this?” Sirius cut in and chuckled.

“Only about certain things,” Harry chortled, “I was thinking that this place could make a nice home, a few good transfiguration charms, some basic wards and voila!” He finished with twinkling eyes.

Sirius laughed hoarsely and stroked his hair. “I hoping you’ll leave the transfiguration charms to me.”

Harry sat up quickly and straddled Sirius’ waist. “You mean, you’d actually do it?”

Sirius laid his hands on either of Harry’s thighs and nodded, pulling himself up to kiss him. Harry broke the kiss quickly however and blushed madly.

“What?” Sirius inquired with a soft smile.

“I’ve just realized that I am very much naked at the moment,” Harry replied shyly and moved in attempt to dismount Sirius’ waist. Sirius’ hands caught and stopped him from proceeding and his eyes started gliding over Harry’s body slowly, soon followed by his fingers while a shameless smirk tugged at the corners of his mouth. Harry’s skin broke out in goose-bumps as a small moan escaped his lips.

“You beautiful, innocent creature,” Sirius whispered lovingly.

He would have felt bad for tainting him hadn’t he been so desperately, blindly and selfishly in love with him.