No Place in My Heart for a Criminal Like You

I’m not quite sure how long I was staring up at the ceiling for, doing absolutely nothing. Thinking of absolutely nothing. Feeling absolutely nothing. Having nothing to do except absolutely nothing.

It was then that I realised that I no longer had a care in the world. I was completely at ease. I was free, yet still so imprisoned. But was I happy? I am not quite sure. Emotions don’t mean a lot to me at the moment. Now, I tend to let things slide and watch things happen, rather than do the things. I’d rather not be a part of anything anymore because that way I wouldn’t have to worry about anything.

I have only The Joker to thank for my current state. How I miss him already. All I have to remember him by are the scars and wounds on my body. I hope that they remain there forever, so I wouldn’t forget about him. But that contradicts the reason and my purpose for being here I suppose. The purpose being to forget all about The Joker. No, this task was not given to me. I decided that this would be my main objective, no matter how much I never wanted to forget about him and no matter how hard it would be to do so. It wasn’t healthy for me to be that obsessed and in love with him, so it’s only best that I do try and erase him permanently from my mind. I still wonder whether or not I’ll ever see him again. There’s always the possibility and the hope that he will return for me. But as for now, I’ll wait for him and that last kiss I’ll cherish until we meet again.

So, that’s my main reason for being here. I think it’s necessary to stop talking about him now because I’m not helping matters by going on about him constantly. The second reason is that I have no other place to stay. The third reason is that I’m classed as criminally insane and I have to be treated and “fixed” if I ever want to leave this place. The building was already so familiar to me as I had been here before. But I suppose it’s kind of degrading to think that I was now here for different reasons. I had once been so sophisticated, strong and intelligent and now I had fallen to this mess and disaster of a human. I wonder if my parents even knew about me and my condition. If they did they’d probably want to disown me even more than they already have, if that’s even possible. Oh well, no worries. They shouldn’t be a bother to me as they haven’t been a bother to me for the last few years now.

It really wasn’t as a bad in here as people made it out to be. Here you could be care-free where people practically look after you for nothing. Stay surrounded by the white walls and you’ll be safe forever. It was best to be alone, because when you’re alone no-one can hurt you. I’d been hurt so many time in so many ways. But I wasn’t going to let that happen here. Not in my new humble abode. Arkham Asylum.