You've Got to Hide Your Love Away

The next morning dawned far too early and bright for the bus loads of hung over rock stars. Billie awoke in a sour mood. After Ava left him standing solo on the dance floor last night he decided to drown his confusion and extreme hormones in more alcohol. However, intoxication had only been a temporary solution to the problem, and this morning it didn't seem worth it. He awoke with all of last nights problems intact and a massive head ache as punishment for downing so much booze.
He stumbled from his bunk, rubbing his head in hopes to cease the constant throbbing. He made it into the makeshift tour bus kitchen and fumbled around clumsily for any caffeinated beverage and some advil; the perfect hangover cure. After a few minutes of frustrated searching, he ended up empty handed.
“Mike!” He shouted towards the back of the bus. A groan escaped his band mates at being woken so harshly. “Mike, where's all your fucking coffee?” If anyone in this band had a stash, it would be Mike. That was just the way things were. When you wanted coffee, you went to Mike. When you wanted marijuana, it was Tre's name you shouted.
“Gone.” Mike murmured before rolling over and trying to sleep.
“What do you mean gone? There's nothing here?” He asked angrily.
“No. All gone. Go ask Dylan or Andy if they have anything on their bus.” He said, silencing any other conversation. Billie considered Mike's suggestion; his head hurt like hell, but did it hurt enough to go face Ava again? He looked to the nearest clock, nearly noon. That was late enough to go knock on their door. He pulled on a crumbled pair of jeans over his boxers along with his chucks and did one look in the mirror before heading over, laughing at himself inwardly for doing so. He took off all the eyeliner that had worn away in the night, but there was not much to be done for his bloodshot eyes and tired skin besides quickly splashing some cold water on his face. When facing himself in the mirror one on one, he asked his reflection why he should care how he looked. The man in the mirror didn't give him an answer he liked.
Shaking the guilt out of his pounding head, he left the bus and walked to the neighboring one. He knocked on the door sharply and waited.
A few seconds later, the bus door was pulled open revealing a t-shirt and boxer clad Ava with a mug of coffee in her hand. She cocked her head at Billie's presence, but smiled warmly none the less. He waited for her to say something, but she only smiled back, not willing to speak the first word.
“Hi,” He started, “I uhm, I was wondering if you had some spare Advil or something. The whole bus is hungover and we don't have anything.” He stood awkwardly as he finished his sentence, thinking that it would have been a better idea to crawl under the covers in his bunk and suffer his punishment than to come here and stand in front of Ava like a stammering idiot while she looked at him with those eyes.
“Yeah, sure, come on in.” She smiled and turned leading him into the bus just as he was about to bolt the other way. “Have a seat,” She gestured to the tiny chair at the table. He sat down, trying to calm his nerves. This is nothing, he told himself, you're just here to get some Advil and leave, you can't stay. “I was just making some bacon and eggs, you hungry?” She asked from the stove.
“Yeah, that would be great, thanks.” He answered before he could politely decline and run back to his bus to take cover as planned. She took a few extra eggs and cracked them into the frying pan before reaching for a coffee mug on the highest cabinet shelf. She was short, about an inch or two shorter than he was so she had to stand on her toes and really reach for the mug. Her cotton boxers rode up with the movement, giving Billie a glimpse of soft skin and the edges of her lacy black underwear. He tried to pull his eyes away; well, tried might be too generous of a word, he wasn't making that much of an effort to control himself.. She finally grabbed the mug and returned her flat feet and poured him a cup of coffee. He almost sighed as she regained her normal height. She walked it over to the table and handed it to him along with the Advil before turning back to her cooking eggs.
“So,” He thought quickly, trying to make conversation to distract himself, “Is the rest of the band here?”
“No, they left about an hour ago. Went off looking for the nearest grocery store so they could stock up on the junk food necessities.” She grinned at him as she pulled out two plates and began to dish the finished eggs onto them along with some bacon. His heart nearly skipped a beat. Ava carried the eggs and over and placed them in front of him.
“Thanks,” He said appreciatively before lifting his fork and devouring the food in front of him. She smirked at that, averting her eyes to her own plate. Billie noticed her smirk and decided to slow down, placing his utensils back onto the table and swallowing the food in his mouth before adding, “This is good.”
Ava's smirk grew before she vanquished it and looked back to him. “Thanks, one of my few domestic talents is breakfast food. But don't fucking tell anyone, it might shatter the image of independent feminist bitch I've worked so hard to maintain.” She rolled her eyes and he laughed at her blunt attitude. “What happened to the rest of your band?” She asked.
“Hung over, worse than I am. They were still unconscious when I left.”
“You guys party hard, huh?”
“Mike and Tre, yeah. Me, I've tried to steer clear of the heavy stuff.”
“Really?” She smirked a little and tilted her head as if to exaggerate her incredulity. Was she flirting with him?
“You sound surprised. You know, not all rock stars are alcoholic partiers.”
She smirked. “I'm aware. I just thought that you would be, you know, Mister Front Man of the world's most popular band. You're not out there trying to score any of the fan girls giving themselves hernias while just trying to touch you?” She leaned towards him, raising her eyebrows and biting down on a crisp piece of bacon.
He rolled his eyes, still debating whether she was flirting with him or if that was just the way she talked. “Yeah, cause I totally love the prospect of jail-bait girls with bad make-up and worse hair throwing themselves at me.”
She grinned back. “Point taken. So, why aren't you taken by someone else who's not so psycho?” She was definitely flirting with him. Now he just had to figure out if she was seriously interested in him or fucking with him for her own personal entertainment, maybe a bet she had going on in her head. Maybe she was trying to see how long he could resist her.
“Relationships are hard in general, they're nearly impossible as a touring musician.” He didn't know why he lied to her, why he didn't mention his wife, he just opened a whole new door that could easily have been closed with just a slight mention of Adie.
Ava nodded in response to his statement. “I know what you mean.” Something in her eyes told him that there was a specific story behind her understanding. Right when he was about to press her for more information, a loud distorted melody burst the silence of the bus. It made Billie jump; Ava stood quickly and rushed to the counter, “One second, sorry.” She apologized as she grabbed the phone and answered.
“Hello?” She answered, walking towards the back of the bus.
Billie knew he shouldn't listen, but his morals often escaped him around Ava.
“Dave? What the hell do you want?” Her voice was quiet and lacked the cocky attitude he had grown to expect from her. Upfront she sounded agitated, but he could detect a hint of defeat in her voice as well.
“No, I don't think so.” She sighed.
“You know what? Fuck you. Don't fucking call me anymore. If you do, I'll fucking castrate you asshole, understand?” Her venom had returned.
She re-emerged from the back as Billie quickly picked up his coffee pretending to drink it carelessly, watching her worriedly. She put her phone back on the counter much more force than necessary. Her hand went to her hair, pushing it out of her face and tugging at the roots a bit in the process. She sat without acknowledging Billie again, lifting her fork and stabbing at the food on the plate.
He raised his eyebrows cautiously. “Are you okay?” He wondered if he should have asked. He didn't want the anger from her previous conversation to get carried into his.
“Sure. Fine, just fine.” Ava's words dripped with sarcasm.
“Sorry, I shouldn't have asked.” He apologized, retracting his words and giving voice to the silent regret in his head.
“No, I'm sorry.” Ava said, dropping her fork and cradled her head in her hands. “I shouldn't have snapped. It's not your fault. I'm just kind of in a mess right now.” She sighed.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No, I'm fine. It's just my asshole of an ex-boyfriend calling to fuck with my head.” When she didn't elaborate he prompted a further answer with his eyes. She sighed before finally looking him in the eye and telling the truth. “We'd been dating for like five years, and I thought that made it a pretty serious relationship. Like, you know, the kind where you start to think about spending the rest of your life with someone.” She trailed off, curling her fingers around her coffee mug, biting her bottom lip.
“And then...?” He asked, curiosity eliminating any patience. He realized he shouldn't sound so interested, why the fuck should he care who Ava dated? But he did, and the suspense was killing him.
“And then I came home one night and found him fucking my best friend.”
“I'm sorry,” Billie offered, secretly knowing that she probably didn't want his sympathy.
She shrugged, “It's not a big deal.”
“Ava, I'm-” She cut him off as reached his hand to hers, pulling away sharply.
“It's nothing. It's over. Don't be sorry, that's just the way it ended. It could have been worse, if I hadn't found him, I'd still be in that mess, all naïve and shit.” She looked both hurt and nostalgic in the same moment, and tried to shrug it off as she stood up but her eyes didn't fool him.
Billie sensed that Ava had told him more than she had planned on. “Hey, thanks for the breakfast. I feel loads better, hangover cured.” He stood up, pushing in his chair.
She grinned, back to her old self. All boasting confidence and no vulnerability. “Yeah, I know, I'm good. Just don't send your bus load of buddies over here, that was the last of the eggs.”
Ha laughed as he turned around to face her one again, “See ya, Ava.”
“Later, Billie.” Her eyes shown playfully.
Walking down the stairs and closing the bus door behind him, he stopped to lean against the hard metal exterior. What had he gotten himself into now?

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I watch your heart when we're together
Boys like you love me forever.
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