Conventional
Eight
My cell phone has sat on my bed, completely silent for the past two hours since school got out. I don’t even blame Alex for not calling. After all, I just completely ruined everything.
Jack thinks I’m just some stalker who claims to be in love with Alex. Honestly, that’s okay with me. Jack seems to be nice enough… I don’t think he’ll tell anyone but Alex. But that’s not the problem. He may have ripped out that one page in my notebook, but I’m almost positive that there are other pages that say the same thing. I was careless, I know, but I couldn’t help myself. Whenever I get bored in class I just draw all over my notes. It’s only a matter of time before Matt and Oliver find Alex’s name scribbled at the top of a page. Then, I’m screwed. Tomorrow at school, everyone will more than likely know that I’m gay and I have a crush on Alex Gaskarth – the most popular boy in the 12th grade.
“Zack?”
I look up from my phone. James is standing in my doorway. “What’s up?” I ask.
“Um… dinner’s ready… Are you alright?”
“Yeah…fine.”
“Did that asshole do something to you?”
“He’s not an asshole, James-”
“He did, didn’t he?”
I shake my head. “No. I’m just waiting for him to call. I did something – it’s my fault.”
“What’d you do?”
“I think I ruined everything.” I can feel the tears stinging my eyes, but I refuse to cry. Not in front of James. He’ll just make fun of me. “Tomorrow the whole school will know I’m gay and I’ll just be tormented even more.”
“Wait, even more? People are bothering you at school? About what?”
“Matt Flyzik keeps taking my English work and he’s the reason I got the black eye… I told Mom I walked into the door,” I mumble. “He’s a dick.”
“Flyzik? Are you kidding me? That kid’s a fucking joke-”
“He’s in Alex’s group of friends.”
“Well, his brother was in my grade, and he was not popular at all. Do you want me to take care of him?”
“No! No, please don’t give anyone another reason to hate me.”
James opens his mouth to say something more, but he’s interrupted. My cell phone buzzes loudly on my bed, indicating Alex’s call. James glares at the phone and abruptly leaves the room.
“Hi,” I answer in a soft voice.
“Zack… I-”
“Alex, I’m so sorry – I shouldn’t have done that, I should have been more careful-”
“Hey, hey stop. Don’t worry about it. It’s okay now; Jack’s got your back.”
“No,” I persist, “No, you don’t understand. I wrote your name in my notebook more than once, I know I did. If Matt goes through it, he’s going to see it and then tomorrow…” I trail off. I don’t want to say exactly what will happen to me out loud.
Alex remains quiet for a few seconds, and I can hear his heavy breathing. “Alright… Well… we’ll deal with that when it happens.”
“You mean I’ll deal with it. It won’t affect you.”
He sighs into the phone. “Yeah, you’re right. Hey, do you think you can come over right now? I need to see you.”
“You want me to go to your house?”
“Yeah…Can you?”
“I… I can get James to drive me.”
“Okay.”
“But what if someone sees-”
“Don’t worry about that right now. Nothing matters but you.”
*
Jack thinks I’m just some stalker who claims to be in love with Alex. Honestly, that’s okay with me. Jack seems to be nice enough… I don’t think he’ll tell anyone but Alex. But that’s not the problem. He may have ripped out that one page in my notebook, but I’m almost positive that there are other pages that say the same thing. I was careless, I know, but I couldn’t help myself. Whenever I get bored in class I just draw all over my notes. It’s only a matter of time before Matt and Oliver find Alex’s name scribbled at the top of a page. Then, I’m screwed. Tomorrow at school, everyone will more than likely know that I’m gay and I have a crush on Alex Gaskarth – the most popular boy in the 12th grade.
“Zack?”
I look up from my phone. James is standing in my doorway. “What’s up?” I ask.
“Um… dinner’s ready… Are you alright?”
“Yeah…fine.”
“Did that asshole do something to you?”
“He’s not an asshole, James-”
“He did, didn’t he?”
I shake my head. “No. I’m just waiting for him to call. I did something – it’s my fault.”
“What’d you do?”
“I think I ruined everything.” I can feel the tears stinging my eyes, but I refuse to cry. Not in front of James. He’ll just make fun of me. “Tomorrow the whole school will know I’m gay and I’ll just be tormented even more.”
“Wait, even more? People are bothering you at school? About what?”
“Matt Flyzik keeps taking my English work and he’s the reason I got the black eye… I told Mom I walked into the door,” I mumble. “He’s a dick.”
“Flyzik? Are you kidding me? That kid’s a fucking joke-”
“He’s in Alex’s group of friends.”
“Well, his brother was in my grade, and he was not popular at all. Do you want me to take care of him?”
“No! No, please don’t give anyone another reason to hate me.”
James opens his mouth to say something more, but he’s interrupted. My cell phone buzzes loudly on my bed, indicating Alex’s call. James glares at the phone and abruptly leaves the room.
“Hi,” I answer in a soft voice.
“Zack… I-”
“Alex, I’m so sorry – I shouldn’t have done that, I should have been more careful-”
“Hey, hey stop. Don’t worry about it. It’s okay now; Jack’s got your back.”
“No,” I persist, “No, you don’t understand. I wrote your name in my notebook more than once, I know I did. If Matt goes through it, he’s going to see it and then tomorrow…” I trail off. I don’t want to say exactly what will happen to me out loud.
Alex remains quiet for a few seconds, and I can hear his heavy breathing. “Alright… Well… we’ll deal with that when it happens.”
“You mean I’ll deal with it. It won’t affect you.”
He sighs into the phone. “Yeah, you’re right. Hey, do you think you can come over right now? I need to see you.”
“You want me to go to your house?”
“Yeah…Can you?”
“I… I can get James to drive me.”
“Okay.”
“But what if someone sees-”
“Don’t worry about that right now. Nothing matters but you.”
*
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This chapter sucksss, but the next one has hot boysex... promise ;)(: Please comment <33