The Band

Elo’s POV

“How could you forget meeeeeeeee??” Jess wailed, beating her probably-thousand-dollar handbag against the back of the shithole’s front door.
“Jess we’re sorry,” I mumbled, glancing sideways at Cass, whose job it was to pick up Jess.
“Yes, Jessus,” Caitlin sighed, “I do believe this is partially my fault. I rue the day I introduced Cassie to Vodka Cruisers… but it was weird for me to see her sober when the rest of us were all shitfaced… the very concept chilled me to the bone.”
Jess stared at me incredulously. “Caitlin, you’re an IDIOT!”
“Exactly!” Cassie joined in. “I can’t in anyway be held accountable for this. It was peer pressure!”
“Shut the fuck up, Cassie. You could’ve refused the drinks.” Jess glared at her, something none of us were accustomed to. “In fact, any given one of you could’ve stopped Cassie, but none of you did.”
We all fell quiet. It finally sunk in that we might’ve actually hurt Jess’s feelings…
“We’re sorry, Jess,” Bill mumbled.
“Yeah, sorry.” Bianca muttered, rubbing her forehead, eyes downcast.
“Look, you guys, it would’ve been fine if you had just rung and told me you weren’t gonna be able to pick me up. I’m more than capable of catching a cab. I don’t think you guys realised how stupid I felt, standing there for half an hour – freezing cold – waiting for my closest friends who were never going to come!”
“Jess…” Cassie whimpered.
“No. I don’t care. You guys really fucked things up this time. I have a taxi waiting for me outside, and I’m going to my hotel. Goodbye.”
“Aw, but Jess!” I cried. “We love you!”
“I forgive you! …dammit!”
“JESS!” We chorused, and drew her into a massive group-glomp.
“You better have some room in this goddamm shithole of yours for me to sleep in…” Jess mumbled into Sam’s shoulder.
Cassie sniggered. “Don’t worry. You can have Caitlin’s couch. She can have the floor!”
“Why thank you, Cassie dear. I can tell just how much you love me…” Caitlin grumbled.
“Yup!”
“So… what are you gonna do about your taxi, Jess?”
“Umm… I don’t know… I don’t feel like going back down there… should I just make them wait and hope they’ll go away?”
“Nah,” Bianca interjected, “I have an idea.”
We watched in bewilderment as she strolled over to the window and leaned out, peering down at the road.
“What’s she doing?” Cassie asked no one in particular.
“I’m afraid to ask,” I replied.
“OI! TAXI GUY! YEAH, YOU! SHE DOESN’T NEED YOU ANYMORE, BUGGER OFF! …HEY!! DON’T FLIP ME OFF JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE EXPENDABLE!! I’M ABOUT TO GO CROCODILE DUNDEE ON YOUR ARSE! YEAH, I’M AUSSIE! BE AFRAAAAAAAAAAAAIIDD!!!!”
I fell over at the sheer force of Bianca’s yelling.
“I thought I was the loud one,” I mumbled, thoroughly messed up in the head.
“Apparently not,” Bill yelped, flopping against a wall.
“He’s leaving now,” Bianca announced, padding into the kitchen, opening the refrigerator.
“He’d wanna…” Caitlin whispered, trying not to make any sudden movements, “You just never know what she’ll do…”
I nodded vigorously. “Yuh-huh.”
“Um…” We all turned around, Bianca was peering around the kitchen wall. “Who’s cooking this morning?”
“Bianca,” Sam groaned, “Why must we go through this every morning? You have two arms, two legs and a heartbeat – go look at the damn refrigerator.”
We all stared in awe at Bill’s unforeseen bravery. She’s a risk taker, that one. Bianca grumbled and did as she was told.
“It’s you, Sam!” She yelled.
Sam hissed something unintelligible under her breath.
“That’s completely lol-worthy,” Caitlin observed thoughtfully.
“Indeed,” Jess agreed.
“Hmm…” Cassie murmured thoughtfully. “Maybe even lmao-worthy?”
“I’d say it could be roflmao-worthy,” Bianca chimed, skipping uncharacteristically out from the kitchen.
“I’m getting ready for school,” I groaned, trudging into my room.

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“Eloise. Eloooiiissee?? ELO-FREAKIN-ISE!!”
“Huh? What?” I jumped up in my seat, the book I had been using for a pillow went flying.
“Eloise,” Karly, one of my at-school friends complained, “Don’t waste valuable Recess time sleeping. Recess is for eating. Class is for sleeping. Primarily math.”
“I can’t help it… when I’m sleepy I can’t control where I drop,” I whined childishly.
Myka, another at-school friend, sighed heavily. “Were you out partying again Elo, you spunky little monkey?”
“I know you won’t believe me, but, yes, yes I was.”
Myka looked at me thoughtfully. “You’re right, I don’t believe you.”
“I’m sorry but I need to interject,” Karly interjected, “Eloise is not a monkey – she’s too Australian for that. She’s a freaking Koala Bear.”
I turned to glare daggers at the unsuspecting Karly. “Koalas. Aren’t. Bears. They’re. Koalas.”
Karly recoiled. “No way. They look like bears. They’ve got ears like bears. Don’t try and compromise my judgement. I know what a fuckin’ bear is, even if you little Auuuuuuu-ssies don’t.”
“Karrrrlyyyy!!” Myka complained. “Don’t try and mess with the Australian chick. She and her friends might go Croc Dundee on our asses and then they’ll never find us again!”
I refrained from informing them that Bianca had already threatened to do a similar thing earlier that morning…
“Yeah, Karly,” I growled, “Don’t mess with the Australian chick. Forget Croc Dundee. Try Wolf Creek, bitches!”
“I don’t know if ‘Wolf Creek’ is entirely relevant,” Karly interjected. “For one thing, we’re in a city-area of America, whereas Wolf Creek was in rural Australia. Plus, me and Myka aren’t foreign backpackers… in fact, technically, Elo, you are the closest thing we actually have to a foreign backpacker at this table…” She smiled darkly.
“Of course I am…” I sighed heavily, plonking my forehead back down onto the cold, blue, cafeteria table.
“Don’t you go falling asleep again, Miss Eloise,” Myka ordered.
“Yeah, yeah,” I muttered, not entirely hearing what she had said. I let myself relax; listening to the bustling sounds and chatter of the students around me. The cafeteria was louder than I remembered it being, before I fell asleep.
“Eloiiiiiiiiiiissseeee!!!”
“WHAT?! KARLY,ITALKEDTOYOUNOTTENSECONDSAGO.
WHATCOULDYOUPOSSIBLYWANTNOW?!?!?!”
“Are you gonna finish your Mac’n’Cheese?” She asked, all wide-eyed and innocent.
“No,” I groaned, “Just finish it yourself…” I smacked her on the back of the head and re-plonked my head on the table.
“Karly, no. Bad Karly!” Myka smacked Karly on the back of the head as well.
“Thank you, Myka. That was very thoughtful of you…” I mumbled.
“You know it,” she replied, scooting my Mac from beside me before Karly could get it.
“That stuff’ll kill you,” I warned her, seeing her wolf down massive mouthfuls in the corner of my eye.
“I know, but it’s so bad for me that I must have it!” Myka cried, reaching across me to steal my spork. I raised my head slightly so that she could see I was staring at her.
“I’m sorry,” she mumbled through a mouthful of food, “But I felt like I was betraying the Mac, eating it with a regular fork. SPORKS FOREVER!”
A group of blonded-up girls to our right gave us dirty looks, and looked away, giggling. Karly gave them the finger, and then turned back around with a massively fake hair flick.
“Those people just cramp my style,” she announced, jamming a beanie on her head, flattening her now-flicked hair.
“Isn’t that the beanie your mother knitted for you last week?” I inquired, an eyebrow raised.
“Yeah,” Karly replied, grinning madly. “Isn’t it sexy?” She struck a pose.
“Mmhhm..”
“Yeah…”
“You people suck,” she muttered, heaving her legs out from under the table. She stood, picking up her bag.
“Aww, K-Dog!” Myka yelped. “Don’t leave! We were just being sarcastic!”
Karly snorted. “D.W. I was just going to pee.”
“Ah,” I murmured.
“Well, that explains things,” Myka piped cheerily.
“Of course it does,” Karly remarked.
“Go pee, Karly,” I commanded.
She smiled dimly. “Oh, yeah. Right.”
“Before you wet yourself, please,” I intoned. Damn hyperactive gerbil was giving me a headache…
She traipsed off in the direction of the bathrooms, leaving Myka and I by ourselves. I once again let myself relax, staring intently at Myka, who was chewing the remnants of MY Mac’n’Cheese with a perplexed look on her face. A few minutes passed, and I realised, slowly, that there was no way that she could’ve possibly been chewing the exact same mouthful of Mac. I sat up properly in my chair, deciding to return her perplexed look. We were silent for a few more minutes, and then Myka’s face split into an ear-to-ear evil-looking smirk.
“You’ve done well, Elo,” she commented.
I stared at her, unsure of how to answer.
“Usually,” she continued, “Your curiosity would’ve gotten the better of you by now, and you would be tugging at my very sleeves in order to know what was on my mind.”
“Wow. No, really, Myka, you are modest - Don’t you let anyone tell you different.” I groaned inwardly.
“Yes, Eloise, I will in fact deign to give you insight into the very depths and recesses of my highly complicated and unsurpassed brain, and the power and thought capacity thereof.”
“Thank you, Myka, Oh Supreme Ruler of This Land and All Those Who Reside In It.”
“I wouldn’t say it was my pleasure,” she replied, stretching her arms out above her head, “but it isn’t the exact opposite of it.”
“Are ya gonna tell me?” I demanded.
“Well, know, Queen Grouchy, I do not believe I shall – if you’re gonna get snappy,” she announced, flipping her hair in that irksome manner she shared with Karly.
I started forming thoughts along the lines of ‘I wasn’t being snappy, you dumb bitch’, and ‘Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you’, but I bit my tongue to force the words down.
“Alright, Myka,” I mumbled, and plonked my head once more upon le table.
“Hmm… I suppose I will tell you,” Myka murmured, feigning nonchalance.
At that, the shrill sound of the school bell rang out across the already-loud cafeteria.
“Sorry, Myka, gotta go.” I stood up from the table and hurried off in the direction of my locker. I was, quite literally, saved by the bell.