Here, Here, and Here

After I sat down everybody served themselves and then I served Caoimhe and myself. We sat there for about five minutes eating in silence. I remind Caoimhe to blow on her soup because she had burned her tongue on her first bite.

“I love how you guys wanted to talk and no one is speaking” I chuckled as I ate another spoonful.

“We’re just enjoying your food so shush.” Bill just shushed me. He hasn’t shushed me since we first met. (He had shushed me mid sentence once and let’s just say it didn’t turn out well for him.) He seemed to remember that time and got a worried look on his face but I just ignored this shushing incident.

About five minutes later they were all done eating. Caoimhe had been done with her small bowl for about two minute before. She turned to me and asked, “Mommy may I be excused?” She said it almost perfectly except her ‘excused’ became ‘excoosed’. I smiled and nodded my head.

“So what do you guys want to know?” I said. Then I put my hands above my head and leaned backwards making my back crack slightly, but only so I could hear. Sitting with my back straight for so long hurts.

“Well what have you been doing? Where have you been? Why did you leave? How’s your dad?” at Bill’s last question I saw Tom tense, but no one else did.

“Okay Bill, now this may sound weird coming from me, but slow down and start with the first two again” I said taking a sip of my iced tea.

“What have you been doing?”

“Yeah, did you finish school?” Gustav added.

“Well I didn’t graduate” I paused and I saw Tom out of the corner of my eye get this stunned look on his face, but as always Bill voiced what I knew Tom was thinking.

“You’re smarter than all of us combined why the hell didn’t you finish school?” Bill screeched a bit.

“You didn’t let me finish, I didn’t graduate but I got my GED. Actually I got it six months after Caoimhe was born. Then I got a job and took collage course on the weekends and during nights when Keevie got older” I finished and answered him.

“Where’d you work?” Gustav asked.

“Um I helped out at a local daycare. I got a reduced price for daycare and I cooked, cleaned, and taught I guess you could call it. Dad didn’t want me too work or even get my GED. He wanted me to graduate and then go to collage full time while he supported me and Caoimhe but…” I didn’t get to finish because Tom cut me off.

“But you’re to stubborn and proud and independent to take anyone’s help. You rather do it on your own and fail than have someone do it for you.”

He smiled as he remembered the old times, back before everything changed. Hearing him talk like that made me sad and miss what we had before, but I know there is no way that we could ever go back to that. Not now, not ever because too much has changed.

I guess I had spaced out because Bill, who had moved closer to me, was waving his hand in front of my eyes and saying my name over and over. I snapped out of it just as Tom got up and left the group again. I saw him walk towards the living room where Keevie was playing by herself.

“Sorry what?” I asked Bill to repeat his question.

“Where’s your dad at now?”

“Oh, um he’s over in Iraq. He got shipped out right after Caoimhe second birthday” I said and I stood up and started clearing the table. I hoped that they could tell that I didn’t want to talk about it by the way that I hightailed it out of there.

After I deposited all the dishes into the sink and let water run over them for a second or two I walked back into the dinning room. I said loud enough for Tom and Caoimhe to hear from the living room, “How about dessert?”