Just When You Think Life's Perfect

Kyle held me while I cried. It’s all I seemed to be doing lately. Every time I looked at Paulie I felt myself slipping. Every time I looked at Mom or Dad and realized how much I was out of place, I felt the burn of tears in my eyes. I didn’t know what to do, or how to react. I was so tired, and confused.
“Shhh baby, shh, it’s gonna be alright.” Kyle whispered into my ear, rocking my back and forth as I clutched his shirt and made a damp spot right in the middle of it. I wiped my eyes and looked up at him, “Ky?”
His eyes met mine, “Yeah babe?”
“What do you think?” I asked quietly, sitting up properly. Kyle pulled at his wet shirt, “That I’m gonna need a new shirt?”
I chuckled lightly as he pulled his shirt over his head. My eyes trailed over his body and sighed when a dry shirt was pulled over it. He chuckled, “C’mere”
I tucked myself under his arm as he kissed the top of my head, “Honestly Shi, I have no idea. I know Jack and Liz love you, and they’ll never want you to leave, and hell, I don’t want you to leave but Natalia seems to love you too. And babe, she is your mother. I’m not telling you what to do, but maybe just maybe...give her a small, tiny, nearly non existent chance” he half smiled, his eyes giving away more emotions than his words. I sighed, “But Ky, I love Dallas. I love Mom and Dad and Paulie. I love you and Caleb, and even Jon and Austin sometimes” I laughed lightly, “I love the warm nights and just being able to walk a few streets to come wake you up insanely early, and waking up some mornings to Caleb snoring in my ear. I just love it here. If I go to Chicago, it’s gonna be so different. I don’t know her. I don’t wanna know her”
I groaned and closed my eyes. Kyle rubbed my back, “I know babe, I know but sometimes it’s better to discover what you don’t know.”
There was a knock at my bedroom door and Kyle frowned, “Yeah?”
“Can I come in?” came Nat’s timid voice. I sighed, “Yeah”
The door opened to reveal her pretty face in a mask of worry, “Are you ok Shi?”
I looked at the face of my mother and hated the way she looked just like me. The same dark eyes, skin coloring, hair color. It was like I was a clone. I hated it and I hated her.
“I’m fine” I said curtly.
She sat down on the end of my bed and looked at Kyle, “Can I talk to her?”
His eyes hardened and my eyes flashed, “He’s not leaving”
She sighed, “Alright. Look Shia, I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings or anything like that. I didn’t know you’d react so strongly to all the things I said before. I want you to come home with me but its obvious that you love your family...and Kyle...too much for me to drag you away from all that. I just want you to think about it...just a little. I really want to get to know my daughter again”
My eyes narrowed, “Then you shouldn’t have given her up 16 years ago”
The tone in my voice surprised her and her eyes went wide with shock, “Look Shia, im not sure you fully understand my situation”
Sure I do” I spat, “You didn’t want me. End of story. Now get out of my room”
She stood up, her eyes sparkling with tears but I couldn’t care less. She left and shut the door quietly. I sighed and leaned back into Kyle, “I was such a bitch”
He nodded in agreement, “Yeah actually you were Shi.”
I looked at him and his eyes met mine, “Don’t look at me like that. Im not agreeing with her. but im not agreeing with the way you just treated her. Babe, she’s your mother, she must have had her reasons. Just hear her out? For me?”
I sighed, and he kissed the top of my head, “Fine Ky. Just cause you’re so damn hard to ignore”

“So, are you going?” Caleb asked, trying to sound nonchalant but I knew he was bracing himself for the worst. I shrugged, “I don’t want to. But Mom said I should at least give her a chance”
Kyle cleared his throat and I chuckled, “Yeah and Kyle was so damn persuasive. I couldn’t say no”
Caleb gagged, “No need to hear that”
Kyle shot him a grin and laughed but said nothing.
“When you leaving?” Caleb asked, sadness lacing his voice
“In a couple days, actually. God, Caleb I don’t wanna go” I sighed, laying my head on his shoulder. He played with the loose strands and Kyle texted god knows who.
“I know babe, I know. Things will turn out” Caleb told me, a light smile on his face.
“I hope so Caleb, I fucking hope so” I muttered.