Beautiful Deception

I'm not entirely sure how long I'd been asleep, I must've been really tired. But, the gentle shaking due to someone's hand on my shoulder brought me to my senses.

Nick was crouched down in front of me, smiling broadly and looking extremely proud of himself. I sat up slowly, to prevent a head rush, and rubbed the sleep from my eyes. Things still looked blurry, I must've been really out of it.

"Earth to Riley," Nick jokes, shaking my knees playfully. I attempt to swat at him, but miss completely. I'll just say that I missed on purpose to save myself the embarrassment. My perception is a little off since my mind is clouded with sleep.

"You try not getting to sleep for nearly a week and then come back here and make fun of me," I say.

His face falls, and I know I've reminded him of a rather delicate subject. Sometimes I think that what Jack did affects Nick more than me. Maybe it does. Maybe he can't block the mental images out as easily as I can block the pain. I wouldn't be surprised. Nick still blames himself for everything, and it'll take months for him to stop.

I feel horrible though. He seemed so happy before, and I've rained on his parade. "I'm sorry," I say earnestly before kissing him lightly. He smiles at that.

"It's okay, I had it coming."

"So what were you so excited about before?" I question, eager to know why he's so happy because chances are, it'll make me happy too.

Nick just looks around with a pleased expression on his face. "Well, while I was out after I landed a job...-" He didn't get to finish because I tackled him in a hug, causing us both to fall to the ground.

"You got one! That's so great!" I tell him. I know deep down inside that I'm sad about him having to be away from me almost every day- thus leaving me alone with Brian- but I can't help but be happy for his success.

He chuckles and pries me off of him, forcing me to sit down next to him on the floor. "I'm not done," he says.

"Sorry," I mumble, biting my lip to hide my smile.

"As I was saying, I decided to do a little shopping..." He trails off and eyes me out of the corner of his eye with a small smirk. He expected me to freak about the fact that he mentioned the word 'shopping.' Normally, I would have, but it was just too easy. I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction.

Instead, I stuck my tongue out at him. He just rolled his eyes and continued what he was saying. "So, I brought some things that I figured would make our night more... special." He turned serious as he said this. The once playful atmosphere was now gone.

"W-what do you mean 'special'?" I ask.

Nick stands up and extends his hands toward me. I take them without a second thought, and allow him to tuck me protectively under his arm. He kisses my forehead and lingers there for a few seconds before pulling away.

"I was thinking about what happened the last night you were with Jack," Nick says. I can hear how he's trying to keep the anger from his tone; the way he's trying to evade going into specific detail.

"And?"

"Well... okay, this is probably going to sound a little weird. And, if you don't like the idea then we don't have to do it..." He was starting to ramble, something that people frequently did when they were extremely nervous.

I hug him tightly, letting him know that I'll keep an open mind to whatever he has to say. "Get back on track,." I tell him lightly.

"Oh, right. So, the thing is, Riley, I really love you. I mean, you're everything to me. I don't want to sound corny or cliche, but it's the truth."

I personally don't think he sounds corny at all. In fact, the expression on his face is way too
serious for that. "I love you too," I tell him softly.

He intertwines our hands and brings them up to his lips so he can kiss my fingers. "You don't know how happy it makes me to hear you say that."

He starts to lead me down the hallway to our room, never once loosening his hold on my hand. "What Jack did to you was horrible, Riley. That's not what sex is supposed to be..."

He pauses for a moment to push open the closed door to the room. When it's fully open, I nearly gasp. It looks nothing like it did before. The lights are off, but the many candles placed throughout it gives it a warm glow. Over on the bed there are tons of tiny rose petals scattered over the off white cover.

"Riley, please don't freak out when I say this. But, I want to show you how sex really should be when you love someone."

Everything in my mind froze. It was like my life was on hold for a second, like I was looking in on this moment. I didn't know what to say to that. Part of me didn't want to have- or think about- sex ever again. Another part of me, the most dominant part, wanted nothing more than to be with Nick like that.

"Please do," I tell him. After all, there's no reason for me to be afraid.

Nick smiles and leads me into the room, shutting the door behind him. The candles, I now notice, smell of cinnamon.

"I hope I didn't go too far with this or get too cliche," he tells me. He lays me down on the bed. The rose petals are smooth and silky as they touch the skin exposed by my dress. He leans over me and strokes my cheek gently. "It's just that I've never done this with anyone before, and I wanted it to be perfect."

"Wait! You're... you're a..." Nick kisses me to stop me from talking. When he pulls away, his cheeks are tinted red.

"Yeah, I kind of am."

For some reason, I start to feel bad about what I'm doing. Nick deserves so much better than me. I'm messed up. He's just so perfect, he shouldn't have to put up with me and my problems. But, the look on his face as he stares down at me proves otherwise. It's like he doesn't mind everything that's wrong with me. And, I love him for that.

After that, there's not much talking. I guess you could say that words weren't needed anymore. Everything was so surreal. It wasn't like it had been with Jack. Nothing was forced. Everything was gentle. Perfect. Absolutely beautiful. This was how sex should be. It should be about love. Connection. Passion. Nick made me feel all of that and more.

Unlike with Jack, when it was over, I didn't feel pain... or emptiness.

Nick kisses my forehead and wraps his arms around me. I curl into his side. I honestly never wanted to leave.

"I love you so much, Riley," he says earnestly.

"I love y...-"

I couldn't finish though because at that moment, the door to the room opened. I nearly screamed when I saw Brian standing there, looking quite amused, while Nick hastened to cover the two of us up.

"What the fuck are you doing? Can't you knock?" Nick demanded, trying to shield me from Brian's view completely.

Brian just smirks at us. "So, you guys aren't like that, huh?" Brian mocks, saying what Nick had said before.

"Stop it, Brian." Nick warns.

"But, it seems like you are though."