Don't Pay Attention

"Brog! Dude? Where the crap are you?" I heard someone yell. I looked up at Brogan. His eyes fluttered open. "What did you say Jasey?" he asked. "I didn't say anything." I said rubbing my eyes. Someone with short, curly, dirty blonde hair poked his head around the pole Brogan and I were laying against. "BROGAN!" he yelled. "Do you realize what time it is?" Brogan just shook his head. " No. But I know it's time for you to stop yelling." He said. The boy looked down at me. I was still crawled up in Brogans lap. "Dude, is this Jasey Rae?" he asked. I sat up and nodded my head. "Jasey, this is Collin." Brogan said. "Nice to meet you. I'm Brogans best friend. Which reminds me." He started to yell again. "Youand Jasey Rae have to perform in 30 minutes!" "WHAT!?" Brogan and I yelled jumping up. Brogan pulled out his phone. It was 5:30. "Shit." he said packing up his guitar. I packed mine up too and we ran back to our barracks. "Meet me out here in ten minutes." he said rushing up to his cabin. I ran inside and fixed my hair and makeup and ran back outside. Brogan was already their waiting for me. "Dang you're quick." I said as we started walking to the auditorium. He was in Skinny jeans with a tight black V neck shirt. It only took him ten minutes to get gorgeous. He is too perfect, I thought.

We arrived at the auditorium where Adam was pacing back and forth. "Do you guys realize that you have ten minutes before you go in!? Where were you?" He asked impatiently. "I'm sorry. We fell asleep. It won't happen again." Brogan said unpacking his guitar. "Adam, do you still have my instrumental track for Party in the USA?" I asked praying that he did. "Yeah. It's still in the CD player." He said. "Good. Because I'm going on first." I said grabbing a mic. "Five minutes AJse." Brogan said coming up behind me. "You will doamazing. And I have something up my sleeves for your performance." He grinned. "Can you stop with the surprises already?" I asked playfully. Adam motioned for me to go onstage. Brogan gave me a hug and I was off.

"What's up Caswell! Are you ready for a party in the USA!?" The crowd cheered and the music started. I put the mic on it's stand so I was free to move around. As I got to the part that says 'And the Jay-Z song was on', I saw a giant US flag drop behind me. Thanks Brogan, I thought. I finished my song full of nodding my head like yeah and moving my hips like yeah. I walked off as Brogan walked on. "Thanks for the flag." I whispered in his ear.

"This week, I have met someone special." Brogan began. "And I really want to play this song for her. It's called Morticians Daughter by Black Veil Brides. This is for you Jasey Rae." I gasped and my eyes filled with tears. I love this song. In the moments of silence before Brogan started playing, I heard the door slam as someone left. Brogan began to play. All I could do was stand there, and stare at him sitting on that stool and cry.

"I open my lungs dear. I sing this song at funnerals no rush. These lyrics heard thousand times, just plush. A baby boy you've held so tightly. This pain it visits almost nightly. Missing hotel beds I feel your touch. I will awake dear. A patient of eternity my crush. A universal still, no rust. No dust will ever grow on this frame. A million years I will say your name. I love you more than I can ever scream.

We booked our flights those years ago. I said I love you as I left you. Regrets still hold my hallow head. I promised you I will see you again. again.

I sit here and smile dear. I smile because I think of you and blush.These bleeding hallow dials...the fuss. A fuss is made of miles and travels when roadways are but stones and gravel. A bleeding heart and conquer every crutch.

We booked our flights those years ago. You said you loved me as you left me. Regrets still haunt your saddened head but I promised you I will see you. Booked our flights those years ago. I said I loved you and I left you. Regrets no longer in my head. I promised you and now I'm home again, again, again, again, again. I'm home again."

The tears were pouring down my face. I ran onto stage and hugged Brogan. The crowd was standing up and cheering. I wiped my eyes and faced the crowd. It was crazy. Brogan grabbed my hand and led me off stage.

***
It was 1 am and everyone was sleeping (quite nosily might I add) when my phone buzzed to life.

Are you awake?-Brogan
Yes.-Jasey
Lets go for a walk. I'm out by the tree-Brogan

I quietly snuck to the door. While I passed the bathroom, I heard someone throwing up. I walked in to make sure everything was okay. I heard the toilet flush and MariStella walked out of the stall. She immediately started crying. "Oh Jasey Rae. You can't tell anyone about my problem." she said sobbing. "I won't but you have to quit. I know you can do it. I believe in you." I said trying to calm her down. "I know I can. And thank you." She said. "I'm here for you anytime but right now I have to go." I said walking towards the door. "And where are you going?" she asked. "For a walk with Brogan." I replied quietly closing the door behind me.

I walked outside and met Brogan. I was in my transformer PJ's and a black T-shirt. He was wearing green plaid PJ's and a white T-shirt. He held out his hand and I took it. We walked to the shore. The moon was shinning on the dark blue water creating the effect of a spotlight. "Brogan, I really loved the song. It's one of my favorites." I said kicking some sand with my toes as we walked slowly. "I figured you would" he said. We walked in silence listening to the lapping of the waves. I had to tell him about me. I had to tell him about my secrets. "Brogan. I-I have to tell you something. Something important" I stammered. "Anything love. I'll listen." he said stopping. He was too understanding.

"Remember when I told you that my dad died?" He nodded his head. "Well, after he died. I-I changed. I started popping pills and cutting myself and I became suicidal. I never told anyone. I didn't want them to think there was something wrong with me because as far as I was concerned, there wasn't. I was so upset and angry all the time. One day, I just couldn't take it anymore. I was going to commit suicide. I popped four tylenol and slit my wrists. My friend walked in on me. I scared her. I scared her really badly. They had to call 911. I had to have my stomach pumped and I had to stay in the hospital for a week. I've been clean for about 5 months now. And you probably think I'm sort of freak emo kind now." My eyes were watery. Brogan seemed to make me cry a lot. A good cry though. I looked at him. He only looked sympathetic and compassionate. He walked me over to some large flat rocks and pulled me into his lap. He wrapped his arms around my waist and rocked me back and forth. "Shhhh." he soothed as I cried hysterically. He kissed my head. "Jasey Rae. Listen to me. I do not think you are some freak emo kid. I think you are so amazing for sharing that with me. I think nothing differently of you." Brogans voice was calming to my ears. "You are too perfect" I said. Brogan chuckled. "Less perfect than you can imagine." Brogan started running his fingers through my hair. "How so?" I sniffed. "Well, I used to be involved with drugs. I hung out with the wrong crowd and would do pot and smoke cigarettes and do things that were wrong everythime we hung out. I realized what I was doing was wrong so I dumped those ass-holes and started to concentrate on my music and get really serious about it again. That's how I met Collin and Baker. You haven't met Baker yet. I love those guys and thank God for them everyday. I've been clean for a year now." I looked up at Brogan. Our noses were almost touching. "That's amazing Brogan. You make me feel so not alone in this world. These past few days that I have spent with you, I have felt som complete." I confessed. Brogan leaned his forehead against mine. "I feel so right with you Jasey. You are so funny and loving. I don't think I could write all the songs in the world to describe this." Broga said leaning in closer to my face. He leaned in al lthe way and pressed his lips to mine. His kiss was tender and soft. It had power to it but wasnt aggresive. We sat there on the rocks holding each other for the rest of the night.