Tell Me What You See (Beyond these scars)

Silently I slipped out of the bathroom, fully clothed. I stepped down the stairs to see the two boys enjoying a cold one on the couch. They both turned to greet me as I stood at the bottom of the stairwell.

“Hey Janey, I like what you did with the place” Jeremy smiled like nothing even happened.

“Someone has to take care of this pig sty” I plopped onto the couch across from theirs sitting my phone on the coffee table between the two velvet sofas.

“Why’d you have to go there?” Jeremy threw me a beer knowing id need one soon.

We sat and enjoyed the brew in silence. It was relaxing but awkward.

“Oh yeah, did you find your room?” Jeremy practically jumped from his seat realizing he forgot to show me.

“yeah, second door on the left with the ’Reserved for Jane’ sign across it?” we laughed and continued to chatter on about random worthless nothings.

“Damn I forgot, this is Alec Fielding” he gestured over to the man from earlier.

I reached forward as he took my hand, shook then placed a light kiss on the back.

“It’s a pleasure, love”. I could feel my heart race and my cheeks burn just like before.

“Do you need help with your things” Jeremy tried to break that tension that continued to build.

“Ye-yeah, there’s boxes in the car” I got up and grabbed the lanyard with dangling keys from my purse.

I hit the unlock button as the three of us shuffled out the door. Jeremy pulled open the back door gripping a box or two and shoving it into Alec’s hands. We passes each other on our separate ways. Pulling out a smaller box Jeremy stopped as I leaned against the Mustangs black frame.

“where did you pick that up at?” I smirked as he looked up.

“Long story” his avoidance was undisclosed.

“I’ve got time” he sighed and began with the story.

“A couple months ago when I was up in Maine on business, I went to check out this old pub and I found him. No money, no home. Just a ‘poor boy from Birmingham trying at a decent life’ as he described it.”

I continued to listen intently.

“I cut him a deal, that if he’d work and get some kind of schooling I’d let him live with me, uh, us”. He rephrased.

I smiled and took pride in my brothers kindness and ‘open arms’ attitude

“now quite slacking” he laughed and threw a box into my hands.

I took it and made my way upstairs to my room. I set it beside the door with all the other boxes. I didn’t bring a lot, just enough until the college would be accepting enrollments. The room was bare and bleak. I knew eventually I would have to brighten things up. Surprisingly my brother the oh so amazing ex and interior designer couldn’t do something with this mess. I collapsed onto the creaking bed with humph’s and sighs exasperating from me. The door suddenly crept opening as Jeremy slipped the last box in. He came over and fell next to me.

“this is nice” we stared up at the ceiling. “Kind of like home” Jeremy rolled over to face me.

“Jane, I’m- I’m sorry” I turned to face him confused but unable to speak. “I’m the older brother and I’m supposed to take care of you but so many times I haven’t”.
This was something that looked like it had been on his mind for some time now.
“From mom and dad to Ricky” I jolted at his name as Jeremy stared at the scars on my neck and face.

They were both from a bad memory, that was almost like a nightmare. Ricky was his name, that name always brought back those terrifying memories that I desperately tried to lock away. One was long, and jagged and ran from my throat to the side of my neck. The other was thin and perfectly slit, it ran from the bridge of my nose to my outer right cheek. Luckily that one was faded, visible but not distracting. I had a few more on my sides, back and stomach.

I seemingly ended the conversation by turning away. I didn’t want to relive let alone think about that man. Jeremy got up knowing I would want some time alone. The door opened then shut and as the locks tumbled I shook away the awful memories.

The door knob jiggled pulling me from unknowing sleep. I looked at the clock reading 11:27 PM. I was shocked I had just fallen asleep so easily. Remembering the door I jumped and headed over to open it. As I pulled then stepped back I saw a shirtless Alec standing in my doorway. I blushed at the lean and exposed muscles.

“Jeremy wanted me to bring this to you” his thick British accent melted me into a warm puddle of infatuation.

“uh, come in” I pulled the door wider smelling the bubbling hot chocolate.

Jeremy knew my weak spots and a delectable cup of steaming hot chocolate was one of them. I shut the door and flicked on the lights. The room illuminated in an instant revealing how insanely huge it really was. My awe was broken as I saw a box Alec dragged behind him.

“what’s that?” I took the hot chocolate from him.

“it was sitting in the driveway. must’ve forgotten about it” he pulled it up and onto my bed that sat dead in the middle of the room.

I sat the beverage down walking to it. Alec stepped back out of my path, watching as I began to rip the tape from the boxes folds. My eyes went wide as I peered in. This was my most treasured box, a box with millions of memories tucked away within its walls. I began to pull out photo albums and little handmade crafts. Alec joined me as I sat on the bed eagerly roaming from page to page of the photo albums.

For a straight hour we both sat laughing and cherishing childhood memories. every other picture held a story that I wasted no time telling to him. He fit in well and I could see he was already becoming a part of the family. All the fun and laughter seized as we turned to the last page of the tattered album. A gold frame with little hearts and dove stickers barely holding to the page bordered a shot of me and Ricky. A false happiness painted my lips as a smirk brimming with bad intentions curved his lips. Before Alec could ask about the picture I slammed the book shut and tossed it across the bed.

Alec didn’t say a word, I was relieved he knew better than to ask at this time. We sat in silence as I rummaged through the rest of the box killing time. He finally got the hint and stood from his position. He got up and walked towards the door pulling it open slow and careful. He turned before stepping out to say his adieus.

“Night love” he smiled, I adored the pet names that already took root.

I replied softly sending him off. As soon as the door was shut I pulled my self up and over to the album. Swiftly I flipped to the back page taking a good look at the picture. Anger brewed and bubbled up. I couldn’t have ripped the picture out of the book any faster. Tear after tear I ripped it into little shreds savoring each moment. I always wanted him ripped away and out of my life, this was a small satisfaction.