Once a Fragile Design

I have a part of me that thinks last night was a dream but seeing John still in my house I know for a fact it was not a dream. Acey let John kiss her and now he won’t leave her alone. I almost choked on my cereal when John sat down across from me at the island in the kitchen. His smile was so heart melting it made me sick.

“So Roxanne, you ready for tour tomorrow?” I shook my head, taking in another spoonful watching his face fall a little. “But you begged us for the past two years for you to come on tour and now you are.”

“I’d come on tour because Rocket and Versa are gonna be there but I really can’t stand you right now,” I got off the bar stool, put my done cereal in the sink and walked away from the kitchen. I left John staring at me confused. If I were Acey he’d follow trying to get an explanation, but I’m not Acey so he won’t follow me.

“Roxii! Have you seen any of my beanies? Or even my hoodies?” I heard Acey ask from her room, I rolled my eyes before walking to her doorway to see her surrounded by piles of clothing.

“They’re probably in the box with winter on it at the top of your closet,” I laughed at little watching her face light up when I pointed to the box. Acey got up, hugged me then attempted to get the box down. I couldn’t help but laugh at her struggles; Acey stands a short five foot one and needs help getting dishes out of the cupboard in the kitchen. I moved through her room towards her closet, reached up grabbing the box for her and bringing it down to the ground.

“Thanks Rox, you’re amazing. I probably would have died getting that and you saved me from dying, how will I ever repay you?” I bit my lip, I honestly debated to tell her to leave John go. But what would I say to back it up? Tell her I’m madly in love with him and I have been since High School? Nope, I can’t. So I shrug and smile.

“You could buy me Wawa went we get on the east coast.” Acey smiled with a small nod, I told her I was going to shower and she saluted me before I left her room. I walked to my room, grabbed a few articles of clothing and walked into the bathroom. I took a quick shower trying not to think about John and Acey but it wasn’t long until tears were sliding down my face.

Acey is my best friend and I can’t even tell her about how I feel about John. I know if I did she’d step off him in a heartbeat but John wouldn’t leave Acey alone. He’d never see me other than a friend that is if he even acknowledges me. I shook my body, turning off the water and grabbing my towel. I dried myself off, dressed in jeans and a long black v-neck that went past my butt. I put my long hair into a mess some call a bun and walked out of the bathroom. John was standing in the hallway staring at Acey’s closed door, I raised an eyebrow before speaking.

“Why are you staring at her door?” John turned around, his face read surprised but I couldn’t help but melt at the confusion his eyes read. Those gorgeous green eyes that sometimes changed color in the right lighting they sometimes made me melt on the spot. Right now is one of those times.

“Oh she’s changing but wanted help with her bags.” John was quick to avoid eye contact after that, I just nodded. I was going to walk in to my room but Acey opened the door and a flash illuminated the dark hallway.

“Promise I’ll be kind, but I won’t stop until that boy is mine. Baby you will be famous, chase you down until you love me! Papa paparazzi!” Acey sang as she took pictures of John and I causing us both to laugh. “What? I’m being Lady Gaga!”

“You look nice,” I commented laughing a little, Acey looked down with a smile on her face. She wore tight black leggings that went to her calf, gray knitted Uggs covered the rest of her legs and a long striped sweater covered her torso.

“I mean we are going to the east coast and I found this in my winter clothes and it makes me happy. I miss the east coast sometimes.” Acey’s mother lives on the east coast in Baltimore, Maryland and visits her when ever she gets the chance. Acey’s toured with Rocket and the Maine more than I have because she’s a photographer and I spent most of the last few years in college but I’m taking the semester off. I’m kind of glad for tour since I knew if I didn’t go I’d be bored wishing I didn’t take the semester off.

“Damn, Acey if you look like that all tour I might have to keep you from all the other boys.” John told obviously as a joke but I felt my heart sink a little.

“Oh shut up John.” She does nothing to have him stop liking her. She feeds him reasons to believe theirs hope. Sometimes I wish I could just tell her how I feel about John.

“No but seriously, can we please go get food? Kennedy is blowing up my phone because he wants some too.” Acey shrugged and I did the same. I walked into my room and put on a pair of shoes before meeting Acey and John in the living room. We left the house as soon as I joined them; John called Kennedy as we got into the car.

“Are we going to Denny’s?” I asked knowing the answer, John nodded and Acey bounced in her seat. John started the car and began driving after he hung up with Kennedy. At least Kennedy will be there; maybe I’ll take Acey’s advice and actually pay attention to him. Apparently he likes me and I know I’ll never get John.