Ash Over Seas

To anyone who stumbled across the scene, it would look absolutely ridiculous—a girl walking beside a scruffy and oversized black fox. But to me, it was just another day in the life.

“Feeling better?” I said smugly, glancing over at the dark creature beside me.

Shove it, he growled.

I huffed. “I can hear you, remember?”

Lucky you.

Atticus hated that I could get in his head when he ran, so he did his best to put up as many barriers as he could. I knew he didn’t like it so I made sure only to tune in when he was talking to me. Sometimes I caught things on accident.

“It is lucky. Without it I might never know who you really were.”

He growled slightly and I chuckled. Then I noticed something in the depths of his thoughts that he seemed to be trying his best not to think about. Well, we all know how those situations work out.

“Cormac rang you?” I hissed as I saw the memory flash briefly in his mind, earning another defensive growl. “What the fuck, Attie?”

It’s not like I rang him, the boy bit back. You know I hate him.

“What did he want?” I asked, feeling incredibly peeved that I seemingly couldn’t escape this boy even by coming to another country.

He shrugged a massive shoulder. I didn’t answer.

“Good.”

Good you’ve finally come around. Took you long enough.

I glared. “Shut up.”

Or what.

He was testing me now. I was never one to have much of a temper, but occasionally Atticus was struck with the mood to piss me off. It was usually when running and he felt up for a good fight.

“Or I’ll tear you to shreds. I can hear your plans,” I said, tapping my temple. “I’ve got the advantage.”

You're fragile.

“Am not,” I seethed.

More so than Father.

I glared. “I can still beat you.”

The fox just scoffed and snapped at my ankle. I darted forward and swung myself up into a tree.

Coward.

I narrowed my eyes and pushed off with my feet, launching into the air and colliding with his massive frame as we both tumbled to the earth. So he would let me fight with him, but he didn’t want me to take gym. I would never understand this boy, no matter how much I could see into his head.

We skidded into a tree, snapping it easily in half and I let out a joyous laugh as I got to my feet. Atticus lunged forward and I darted swiftly to the left, feeling his claw lightly rake along my forearm. I scowled down at it, watching as the skin seamed together quickly, leaving a light pink line.

“Oh, you’ve put your foot in it now,” I hissed playfully as we began to circle, crouched low with crazed smiles on our faces from the thrill.

Despite my natural grace, I almost stumbled backward in shock as a massive blur of brown vaulted from the forest, tackling Atticus into a tree.

Stupid fucker, get away from her! Growled a voice that was certainly not my brother’s, but definitely one I recognized. I watched as the large russet wolf took my brother’s throat in his mouth, biting down threateningly.

“STOP!” I screamed as I rushed forward, pushing with all my strength and sending the wolf skidding across the forest floor.

What is she doing!? I heard the voice hiss again.

I turned, taking a protective stance in front of my brother, who was already upright and snarling menacingly.

“Atticus, wait!” I hissed, throwing a stern glance back at the black fox.

ATTICUS? I heard the voice exclaim as the wolf stared in bewilderment.

“Jake!?” I asked, incredulous as my mind registered the voice again and I took an involuntary step forward. Atticus lunged forward, taking my shoulder in his mouth and preventing me from advancing further. I rolled my eyes and nudged him off me.

“Jake, is that you?” I tried again.

How the fuck could she know? I heard him wonder.

I sighed. “If you change back I can explain everything,” I said. “And you might want to also,” I added to the still defensive boy behind me. They both disappeared into the woods for a moment before returning, half clothed and scowling darkly at each other. Jacob was the first to break their gaze, turning his eyes to me incredulously.

“How did you…?”

I shrugged, smiling smugly. “The voice in your head sounds just like you.”

“Wha….”

Atticus scoffed from behind me in bitter amusement at Jacob’s ignorance.

“Play nice, Attie,” I scolded and he just rolled his eyes. “You can actually head back to the house. I’ve got this under control,” I said coolly.

He eyed us skeptically before sauntering off into the woods without another word. I turned back to the tall, bare-chested boy in front of me, taken aback slightly at the tone of him.

“Mind explaining?”

I chuckled wryly. “Figured this was coming.”

“What was that back there?”

“I was just playing around.”

“Playing around? You were tackled by a… a… fox?”—I nodded in confirmation—“into the dirt! You could have been killed!”

I scoffed. “You give me no credit. I’m more durable than you think. I was able to push you off him, wasn’t I?”

“Well… yeah… but—how did you know it was me?”

“Well, I’ve known what you were this whole time,” I shrugged. “I just didn’t feel the need to mention I knew your darkest secrets on the first day I met you. I didn’t want to scare you all away.”

He chuckled and grinned. “You could hardly scare me away.”

“Don’t speak so soon,” I muttered, knowing that once he found out what I was he might not be so sure.

“What do you mean? And how do you know all this?”

I sighed, motioning for him to walk with me. He took up stride next to me, still stiff with unanswered questions.

“My family is… different,” I said, unsure of how to start.

“Well I think I could put that together by now,” he chuckled. “Are you a fox-thing too, then?”

I shook my head. “No. Our family is kind of two families merged together. On one side, there’s my father and I. Then on the other side there’s Atticus, Artemis and Pan.”

“Meaning…?”

“Artemis and Pan are like Atticus. They're called Kitsunes and the three of them are all related. Ari and Pan are brother and sister and Atticus is their cousin.”

“Okay…?” he said, trying to process all this new information. “Why are they with you then?”

I sighed. “Their… clan… was victim to a raid. My father knew Atticus’s mother—I don’t know how—but she begged us to take him, so we did. I was only four at the time. Then it was several years later when Artemis and Pan found us as well. Just stumbled in one day and the rest is history. My father couldn’t say no to them.”

“Huh….” He allowed his brain to sift through this as we walked through the soft earth before continuing with the part I really wasn’t looking forward to. “So what does that make you?”

I brought my eyes to the ground in shame. I hated telling this part of my story—it made me feel like such a monster. I braced myself for the anger lashing I was sure I would soon receive.

“My… My father is a vampire,” I whispered.

As I expected, Jacob tensed next to me and stared at me angrily.

“What!? You live with a vampire!? Don’t you know how dangerous that is?” he barked.

“He’s my father, Jacob,” I insisted.

“Obviously not!”

I shook my head. “He is. He’s my biological father.”

Jacob stared at me dumbly, his walking halting abruptly. “But… you… how is that even possible?”

I took a deep breath, preparing myself as I raked a shaky hand through my hair. “My mother always wanted kids,” I whispered, unable to meet his gaze. “And she loved my father so much. He tried to convince her to go with something else… anything… insemination or even a surrogate, but she wouldn’t hear of it… she wanted it to be his child.”

He listened patiently and made no move to reprimand me further. I twisted my fingers awkwardly and continued.

“So he finally agreed to try… and it worked. Within a week she was pregnant with me.”

“But… how?” he whispered.

I shrugged. “It was a fast pregnancy but it was brutal… it must have been. My father has never gone into detail before… he doesn’t want me to feel guilty. As if I don’t already,” I scoffed.

“Why would you feel guilty?” Jacob asked, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder, stroking lightly with his thumb.

My eyes stung and my vision blurred, creating a pool of brown and green before my eyes. Jake seemed to notice and pulled me into a comforting embrace, cradling my head into his shoulder.

“I killed her, Jake. I killed her,” I choked into his chest. “She’s dead because of me!”

“What happened?” he asked calmly, running his fingers through my hair. I hesitantly wrapped my arms around his frame in return, grateful for the closeness.

“Childbirth was too hard on her. I was too strong. Jacob, I practically tore her apart.”

“Shh, it’s okay. You couldn’t have known,” he whispered, resting his cheek on the top of my head.

It was silent for a moment, neither of us knowing what to say.

“You don’t have to do this, you know,” I muttered finally. “You can run away if you want.”

He pulled back and stared at me oddly, keeping his hands on either side of my face. “Why would I run away?”

I was incredulous, my glistening eyes growing in confusion. “Haven’t you been listening? I just told you I’m half vampire! You hate vampires why aren’t you running or like trying to tear me apart or something?”

“Do you want me to tear you apart?” he asked, though I thought I detected a hint of amusement in his tone.

“Well… no, but—“

He let out a hearty laugh and pulled me back in. “I don’t hate you.”

“Why?”

He grinned, as if he was in on some private joke. “I’ll tell you someday.”

“Okay…?”

“So… but you ate normal food at lunch this week… doesn’t it taste bad to you?” he asked.

I sighed. “No it tastes fine to me.”

“Do you still….”

“Yeah, sometimes. I try to avoid it whenever possible. I don’t like the thought of it.”

He nodded in understanding. “Is it hard for you to be around people?”

I mused for a moment. “Not really. I’m not that tempted—not like Father would be, and I’m used to the burn.”

“And I don’t smell bad to you?”

I chuckled. “No, Jake. You smell wonderful, actually.”

I blushed as I realized what I’d said but his chest vibrated as he chuckled. “Thank you. So do you.”

He paused for a moment, allowing us to fall into a comfortable silence before holding me out once more so he could look in my eyes. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“If your father’s a vampire and your mother was dying… why didn’t he just change her?”

I sighed deeply, controlling my voice. I had expected this question. “He tried,” I muttered. “She wasn’t exactly human either. I think she had siren blood in her. I guess something in it repelled the venom and she… she….”

“Shh, it’s okay,” he said once more, pulling me into his warm chest. If I hadn’t been distracted with self-loathing, I would have blushed at the contact we were currently locked in. “It’s not your fault.”

“I—“

“No,” he said firmly. “You are not to blame yourself for this. Promise me.”

I sighed. “I’ll try.”

“Good.”

I gave him a weak smile. “Thanks, Jake… for not jumping to conclusions or anything. And for not hating me.”

He chuckled warmly. “Anytime. I could never hate you, trust me.”

I just nodded and we began to walk back toward my yard once more.

“So you're part siren then too?” he asked.

I shrugged. “Hardly enough to be noticeable. But yeah, I guess there’s some in me.”

“That’s pretty cool. I bet you're good at singing then.”

I rolled my eyes. “Yeah I guess. But the vampire part ensures that too.”

He chuckled. “True.”

We reached the forest edge several minutes later and I turned to him.

“You can… uh… come for dinner, if you’d like…” I said quietly, not really wanting to leave his presence.

He smiled sadly. “I’d really love to, you have no idea. But I’m on patrol right now and my alpha would kill me.”

I nodded in understanding. “Well, just remember this scent and know that my father is no threat, I promise. He’s vegetarian.”

“He knows the Cullens, then?”

I nodded. “Remember the friends I was talking about at lunch?”

He nodded.

“That’s them.”

“I see.”

“Yeah,” I sighed. “Well… I should probably go start dinner. Kitsunes are known for eating a lot… kind of like you guys.”

He chuckled and nodded as I turned to leave.

“Oh, wait!” he called and I turned back questioningly. “You never explained how you could hear me?”

I smiled. This was something about my self that I actually liked and was grateful for.

“I can hear animals,” I replied simply.

“Like their thoughts?”

I nodded. “Yeah, but mostly they're just pictures, aside from my family and you guys. It’s my gift.”

He whistled lowly. “That’s pretty cool.”

I nodded. “Useful, too, as you can see.”

He chuckled and nodded in return.

“Well… I’ll see you tomorrow, Jake,” I said kindly.

“Count on it.” He winked and ducked back into the thick brush.

I walked into the house to find my father and siblings all home.

“How was your date?” Atticus snickered from the table.

“Date?” my father asked, his tone hard.

I rolled my eyes. “Thanks, Attie,” I said sarcastically, turning to my father. “It wasn’t a date, Daddy. I was talking to one of the shape shifters.”

“Oh.” His tone didn’t warm much.

“Hey, you're the one who wanted us to be friends with them,” I said, holding up my hands defensively.

He huffed. “Yes, well, I thought it might be good for Atticus.”

“I’m sure he’ll come around eventually,” I said, nodding.

“I’m right here,” the boy said aggravatedly.

I just smiled, ignored him and went into the kitchen to find Artemis already chopping up potatoes. As I listened to her chatter away about her first day at elementary, a content smile spread over my face. I didn’t have to hide myself here. I was friends with people whose existences were just as twisted as my own. And that thought, as strange as it may be, gave me an immeasurable sense of comfort.