What Are You Waiting For?

[First Day of School]

I sighed heavily, running the flat iron over that one problematic piece, finally getting it to stay down.

I celebrated in my head and turned it off, checking myself over once more time before I heard the oven go off.

“Oh!” I said, smiling, running to the kitchen to turn the timer off and pull the peanut butter cookies out of the oven, setting them on the stovetop to cool off.

The clock told me I had a half hour until school started, and I wanted to get there a bit early so I could familiarize myself with the place. My hands started shaking slightly as I got nervous.

People scare me.

I don’t have anthrophobia or anything, and I don’t hate people, but people hate me.

They hate that I’m gay. At least, the people at my last school did.

When I came out, they wouldn’t let it go. The friends I made beforehand left me, and I was basically a loner, roaming the halls, no one by my side. People would shove me into lockers, push and shove me down, basically make me feel worthless, lower than dirt.

And yet I’m still happy, content, with myself.

My excessive baking probably has something to do with it. I bake when I’m stressed or worried, or if I just want to. Those peanut butter cookies helped me keep my worrying down to a minimum. It’s starting to come back, though.

I changed schools because I don’t want to be shoved into any more lockers or pushed down to the ground or get called nasty names. I want a fresh start, and people can either accept me as I am or leave me alone. Every school has a bully or two, though, so I know I won’t get off totally free.

I sighed and grabbed a spatula and an oven mitt, sliding the cookies off the tray easily.

“Ian, do you want me to drive you to school today?” I heard mom yell from the living room.

“Yeah, could you please?” I said.

“Sure, hun.” Mom paused. “Peanut butter cookies?” She guessed, walking into the kitchen with a smile on her face.

“Mhm.” I said, smiling, shoveling them into a container to take to school, giving my mom two.

Her smile grew as she kissed my forehead and grabbed her purse and jacket. “Well I‘m ready when you are, sweetie. I‘ll be outside warming the car up.”

“I‘ll be out in a second!” I called out to her as she closed the door.

My mom is the best there is. Not meaning to brag, but she’s basically been raising me on her own since Dad left us a couple years back after him and Mom got in a huge fight over me. The house is a lot happier without him and his drunken ways.

I sealed the container and stuffed it in my backpack, throwing on my jacket (furry hood!) and heading out the door.

I rubbed my hands together, holding them up to the vent as mom backed out of the driveway and headed towards the school. I didn’t live too far from it, so I know she wouldn’t get lost.

I hope people accept me.

When I got there, there were barely any cars there. I breathed a sigh of relief in my mind and got out of Mom’s car after giving her a kiss goodbye, wishing me a good first day of school.

She drove off and I already felt so alone and desperate. I slowly made my way to the front doors and once inside the warm school, I felt a small ounce of comfort, probably from the warmth.

I walked down the halls and finally found my locker and first hour class. I opened my locker and started organizing everything into my locker from my backpack. I was mainly doing this to waste time, because I got here a little too early.

I saw someone walk down the hall, of course I had no idea who they were, and they didn’t know me. We exchanged glances; I smiled while she gave me a weird look.

I turned back to my locker, my smile turning into a frown. I grabbed onto my locker door, squeezing it slightly, feeling like today was already going to be a complete hellish disaster.

I grabbed what I needed for first hour and slammed my locker, pacing myself to get to the class. I still had five minutes until classes started.

Someone’s shoulder ran into mine hard, pushing me out of the way. I turned to look at the culprit, and I saw a guy with long black hair and a bunch of piercings looking back and laughing at me.

Hellish. Disaster.

And he doesn’t even know me.

I hung my head low and shuffled into first hour, handing the sheet to the teacher, who just smiled at me, signed it, and told me to have a seat anywhere.
I looked up and surveyed the empty spots, and I had to prevent my jaw from dropping when I saw him.

His straight, dark brown hair stuck up all over the place, his eyes just hidden behind his hair. He was sitting next to another guy of close to equal attractiveness. His hair was a light brown, perfectly straight, and looked very wispy.

The first guy caught me looking at him. I didn’t want to seem weird, so I gave him a weird look, and he turned away. I saw his cheeks flush a bit, which made me smile to myself. I made my way over by those two guys.

“Hey, would it be alright if I sat here?” I asked quietly, attempting to make eye contact, but failing.

“Sure, you can sit here, we don’t bite.” The second boy said.

I looked up at him and he was smiling a genuine smile, not one used for guilt trips or anything like that. He actually wanted me to sit with them. I smiled a goofy smile and sat in the desk in front of the first boy.

“This is Nick, and I’m Riley. You are?” The second boy, Riley, introduced themselves.

Nick.

Such a fitting name.

“Ian.” I said, smiling.

“So what brings you here, Ian?” The teacher asked, making me jump a little.

“Um, just some personal stuff.” I said, feeling slightly uncomfortable just coming out and saying that I was being harassed because of my homosexuality.

She nodded and moved on. At least she didn’t dwell on it.

The bell rang and that one guy that shoved me in the hallway came running into the room.

“Late again, Ethan?” The teacher said, not sounding at all surprised.

“Yeah, yeah, so sue me.” He said in a cocky tone.

I really don’t like that guy.

“Will it get you sent out of here? God knows everyone would love that.” Riley said, rolling his eyes, his cheek in his palm, drawing something in his notebook.
“Shut the fuck up, pansy little bitch.” Ethan yelled across the room.

“You’ll have to blow me first.” Riley said, looking at Ethan this time, smirking.

Ethan got a cocky look on his face. “Gladly.”

“Boys! That’s enough! Ethan, I’ll talk to you after class. Riley,” She said, giving him a “you better behave yourself” look. He nodded and went back to drawing.

I turned to the front of the class and smiled at the scene that just played out. At least I’m not the only one that hates him.