What Are You Waiting For?

“Mmm…” I mumbled against Nick’s lips, unbuttoning his shirt as he worked on my jeans. He let them drop and started grinding his hips into mine, making me have to suppress the moan that wanted to come out. Mom was in the living room, but she was way too into her show to bother checking up on us.

I undid Nick’s pants as he rolled us over so he was on top of me.

“Ian! Could you come out here for a minute?” I heard my mom call from down the hall.

I pulled away from Nick’s lips roughly, panicked. “Shit.” I cleared my throat. “Yeah, hold on a second!” I yelled back. Nick rolled off of me so I could get dressed quickly.

“How are you gonna explain that to your mom?” Nick asked, looking at me while I slipped on pajama pants.

“Well these pants hide it, don’t they?” I asked.
Nick glanced at me again and nodded. “Yeah, you should be okay. Now don’t keep me waiting too long, you sexy thang you.” Nick said, licking his lips.

I stuck my tongue out at him and opened my door, walking in by my mom, stopping in the doorway when I noticed a strange man in the room with Mom.

“Mom…” I said cautiously. “Who is this?”

Mom cleared her throat and put her hand in this guy’s. “Ian, this is Brian. I’ve been seeing him for about two months.”

I looked at him with a critical eye: he has short brown hair, brown eyes, tall, sort of built with a small gut. He looks kind of rough with his slight stubble, and he looks like he enjoys the outdoors. A lot. I already have a bad feeling about him.

Brian stepped up to me and shook my hand. “It’s good finally meeting you, Ian.”

I nodded, giving him a half smile, looking anywhere but him. This is so immensely awkward. I wonder if he even knows I’m gay. He doesn’t seem like the type of person that would be accepting of that.

“How come you didn’t tell me sooner?” I asked.

“I wanted to make sure that it was official before I told you.” She said, smiling, looking at him, Brian. “And you’re not at home enough for me to tell you.”

“Make what official..?” I asked slowly, looking between mom and this guy.

She looked up at him with a big smile on her face. “We’re getting married.”

My jaw dropped. “What?! No, Mom, you can’t, just…no!” I protested, stuttering, the right words not processing in my brain.

Marrying this guy?! What the hell?! “Why would you even make that decision without me meeting him first? Are you insane? It’s not supposed to work like this, it’s just not. I’m supposed to meet him before you decide to throw your life away to a guy you’ve known for two months.”

“Ian! That’s no way to talk-”

“Mom, you promised after Dad left that you were going to consult me before doing something this…this stupid.” I sighed, crossing my arms, glaring at her. “Does he even know?” I pointed to Brian. “Does he know about me?”

“Well of course he knows about you.” She said.

“But does he know about me? Does he accept it? I wouldn’t be able to live under the same roof as him if I had to deal with that again.”

Mom sighed, looking at me with defeated eyes, then looking at Brian. “I guess it just slipped my mind. Um,” She paused, looking down, then looking at him again. “I forgot to mention that Ian’s gay. I guess I’m just so used to it that I didn’t realize I hadn’t mentioned it. I hope that it doesn’t affect anything between us.”

I hope it does, I wanted to say, but I kept my mouth shut, just giving both of them hard stares.

“Oh, I uh, I see.” Brian stuttered, scratching the back of his neck.

“So you’re not okay with me liking other guys, I can already tell. If you were okay, you wouldn’t be stuttering.” I spat, glaring at him now. People like that piss me off, ever since Dad.

“It’s not that at all, son-”

“Ian.” I growled.

He looked slightly intimidated, making me smirk in my mind. “I don’t have a problem with you liking other guys, Ian, it’s just-”

“What? Unexpected? Not what you were planning? Pretty much the same fu-freaking thing.”

“Ian, go in the kitchen, I’ll be there in a second.” Mom said sternly.

I glared at Brian one last time before going off into the kitchen. I heard her talking quietly, then footsteps, then the front door slamming. Thank god. A second, lighter pair of footsteps came into the kitchen at a quick pace, revealing Mom, absolutely furious.

“Ian, why did you do that?” She asked, trying to pinch off her anger.

“I don’t like him, he sent me all the wrong vibes, and he sure as hell wasn’t okay with me.”

“He didn’t say that-”

“He implied it, Mom. I can tell when people actually mean it and when people are just trying to impress someone.”

She sighed heavily, looking around the kitchen with her arms crossed. “I love him, Ian, and I want to marry him.”
“You can’t-!” I started.

“Listen to me, Ian.” She yelled sternly. “He makes a lot of money doing what he does, but we would have to move.”

My jaw dropped, tears came to my eyes. This can’t fucking be happening. “No. We’re not moving, Mom. We can’t move. What about Riley? Ethan? Do you really know how in love I am with Nick? You can’t separate us. If you move, then I’m staying here.”

“You can’t stay here, Ian.” She said.

“I’m not moving, Mom. I’m not. It’s not happening. I’m staying with Nick, you can’t make me…I’m not…” I broke down into sobs. “Why would you do this to me, Mom? Why would you take away everything that makes me happy? Do you want me to be miserable again?”

“Ian, you’re being overdramatic-”

“And you’re being fucking selfish. Are you only thinking about yourself and your love life? I’m sure as hell that I’ve been with Nick a lot longer than you’ve been with this Brian dude. I mean, I want to see you happy, Mom, I do, but do you want to see me suffering in that process? Can’t we come to some sort of agreement? Why can’t he move here? If he has enough money, then he should just come here.”

Mom looked at the floor, a guilty look on her face.

“Just talk to him about that, and think about what I said.” I said, turning on my heel and walking back to my room, tears still falling down my cheeks. I opened my door and shuffled into the room slowly.

“Ian, what’s the matter?” Nick asked, concerned. “What took you so long? And what was with the yelling?”

I sniffled, sitting on my bed, hugging Nick tightly, making me break down. I don’t know how I would be able to go through a day without his hugs, his kisses, him. “My mom found this guy…” I mumbled, sniffling, trying to gain my composure back at least a little bit. “And I guess she’s so deeply in love with him that she wants to marry him and move, even though he doesn’t like me because I’m gay. She’s not even taking into consideration my feelings or my life here. I fucking hate her. I’m not moving, I’m just not. I can’t leave you and Riley and Ethan behind.”

I broke down again, hugging Nick even tighter, crying into his shoulder. I heard him sniffle a little bit as well.

“She’s such a selfish bitch.” I said in a shaky whisper.
“Shh, shh, it’s okay. Don’t talk, just try and relax. We’ll get this whole thing straightened out.” Nick said quietly, rubbing my back, then squeezing me tightly. “I don’t want you to move.”

I shook my head frantically into his shoulder, slowly starting to calm down.

“Do you want me to call Riley and Ethan?” Nick asked.

I shook my head again. “Not now. I just want to be with you right now, no one else.”

He nodded, kissing my cheek softly. “I love you, Ian.”

“I love you, too, Nick, so much.” I said, leaning to kiss him tenderly.

Nick deepened the kiss and laid us down on the bed, pressing right against each other. He slid my pajama pants off and quickly slipped my shirt off, his lips going after my neck and collarbone.

Everything about this time feels more sensual, more meaningful, like we’re taking it slower, making it last longer.

Nick pressed himself inside me, making me let out a small pleasurable noise. He started moving faster, and it got harder to control my volume. I let out a loud moan, which is what did it for the both of us.

I laid next to Nick, my head on his chest as he combed through my hair with his fingers, relaxing me. I couldn’t keep my mind from racing with all the thoughts of what Mom told me. What if this is the last time something like this happens between Nick and I? What if I never get to see him again? Does she care at all?