New Beginnings

Many shots, and many drinks later both me and Kryce were both pretty drunk. We were laughing and giggling as we sat and talked in the music room. It was the most soundproof room in the house so it didn’t matter how loud we were being, the kids weren’t going to wake up.

“So…Shy, why haven’t you made a move yet?” Kryce slurred as he asked.

I giggled for a moment. He was asking why I hadn’t made a move on him yet? Well honestly I couldn’t answer him because I didn’t even know why I hadn’t.

“Cause.” I replied with a giggle.

“Cause why?” he asked smiling.

“Cause.”

“Cause why?”

“Cause.”

“Cause why?”

“Cause!”

After I stubbornly exclaimed my answer I tackled him in a hug onto the fold down couch we were sitting on. I smiled at his shocked expression and he grinned in return.

“So…does this mean that you’re making a move?” he asked softly.

I shivered slightly at the feel of his breath against my lips and nodded. I then leaned down and pressed my lips to his in a tender kiss. I felt him smile in the kiss and I smiled as well as hi parted his lips slightly after a moment.

His hands wandered to my neck and rested there softly as mine rested gently on his hips. The kiss deepened as his tongue slipped past my slightly parted lips to move against mine. All our movements against each other seemed so much more heated even though we were going slow.

I felt him move to sit up so I let him. It ended with me still being on him, but I was straddling his lap and our kiss never broke. I smiled briefly again and pulled him closer so we were pressed right against each other and so were our erections.

I moaned into the kiss softly and so did he. It was getting a little tight down in my pants and in all honestly it was slightly uncomfortable. He ran his hands across my stomach by the hem of my shirt before slowly lifting it up and off of me. He ran his hands across my chest and kissed one of my nipples teasingly.

I shuddered and pulled his shirt off him as well. We kissed more and our hands roamed each others bodies while slowly removing clothing. When we were both naked and pressed tightly together about to have sex, I got this feeling deep in the pit of my stomach. I couldn’t place what it was until I felt Kryce start touching my lower area.

It was guilt. I felt guilty about doing this when I still loved Demik so much. He may be gone, but that doesn’t matter. I still felt as though I was cheating on him, betraying his memory by doing this. I sighed and pulled away reluctantly. I sat on the edge of the bed, head in my hands, facing away from Kryce.

I felt his hand on my shoulder but I paid it no mind. He rubbed my back softly for a moment before he spoke. “You feel like you’re cheating don’t you?” he asked softly.

I nodded feeling tears creep down my cheeks. He turned me around and hugged me tightly. “Don’t worry. You’re not disgracing his memory, you’re moving on. It’s been long enough, and I feel that you need to get on with your life. I’m not trying to sound rude, but it’s not a good thing to still be mourning after so long.”

He was right in a way. I do need to move on, but it still feels wrong to me. Very wrong. I hugged him closer to me and cried softly into his bare shoulder. He continued rubbing my back until I had clamed down a little. Despite my drying calming down, my erection didn’t. Damn thing.

I looked up at Kryce and he smiled softly. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok Shy, I understand. Let’s just get dressed, yeah?”

I shook my head. “It’s ok, we can continue. You’re right about this not being cheating.”

“You’re sure?” he asked.

I nodded again and he kissed me softly. It soon got back to where it was before, only this time we went all the way. He moved in and out of me slowly and softly. Yeah, I can admit that it felt good, but it wasn’t sex with Demik. I knew I wasn’t going to release from Kryce, it just didn’t feel right. I imagined that I was back with Demik on the day of his accident, when we had sex while the kids had been at school then walked in on us…sort of.

It wasn’t fair that I was doing that while with Kryce, but it made it fair to him in a sick kind of way. HE released inside me and still imagining he was Demik, I did as well. After we finished, we laid side by side and talked for a while before getting our boxers and shirts on and going to sleep.

I couldn’t help but think of Demik as I lay beside a sleeping Kryce. I still felt bad about basically cheating on his memory, but Kryce was right. I did have to move on, no matter how much it hurt. I had to move on. Those were the second last thoughts before I fell asleep. The very last thoughts I had were of Demik. I love you, I’m sorry. In the silence I could have sworn I heard a whisper on the wind. I love you too baby.