It's A Shame I'm A Dream

She drove him home. They parked at the curb right off the driveway. Aiden stared at the house through the passenger seat window, his eyes raking over the darkness and finally resting on his bedroom window, where he knew a certain packet of letters was waiting for his renewed mind. Aiden suddenly felt very unsure.

“Uh…” he stalled, fiddling with the lock on the door. “Thanks for the ride.”

“No problem,” Kristina said, waiting. When it became excruciatingly clear he wasn’t going in, she said, “Are you okay to go in?”

“Yeah,” he was about to lie, but abruptly changed his mind. “Not really…I’m just kind of anxious about seeing her…things.”

“Yeah. Want me to come with you?”

Aiden’s first reaction – undoubtedly fueled by the part of his brain that was keen for him to return to normal – was a vivid image of him and Kristina, alone in his room, no one knowing she was there, another five hours until anyone was bound to wake…. He forcefully pushed the images out, as much as every inch of him protested.

Kristina had a boyfriend. And he looked like a pretty uptight one at that.

He cleared his throat and said in what he hoped was the same tone as before, “Sure. Well – I mean – I – could you stop by later?” he finished lamely.

She grinned knowingly. “Would it be okay if I brought my boyfriend by too?”

“Uh…I’d rather….”

Kristina shook her head. “No, it’s okay, I won’t. These things you just tell me straight up.”

“Thanks. I like the way you say ‘straight up.’”

“Are you getting out now?” she teased lightheartedly. Aiden climbed out and stood on the sidewalk, smiling at her gratefully. “Call me!” he heard her shout as she drove away soundlessly.

“Eat some breakfast.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“Aiden.”

“I’m going out.”

“Aiden – what’s gotten into you? You’re always hungry.”

Aiden didn’t answer, just sprang upstairs, shrugged out of his pajamas and – again – dressed into black jeans and a white t-shirt. He hesitated for a split second before cramming the manila folder into his backpack and slinging it over his shoulder.

“Aiden.” Mrs. Walker stopped him at the door, her hand on his arm. Her face was lined with confusion and worry. His finger traced the jagged edge of his car key he gripped in his hand. “Are you all right?”

“Mom, I’m fine,” Aiden said, putting as much reassurance as he could into his words. After all, he was only lost himself. “I’m just going for a drive.”

She gave him one last look, finally sighing in defeat. “Be home for lunch, won’t you?”

The sky was a downplayed blue; everything felt eerily still, as if time were stuck in a limbo or the city had made it to the eye of the storm. Not many cars were out on the road, despite the fact that it was seven o’clock on a Sunday morning.

Aiden maneuvered his car to the bare parking lot of the closest Safeway. He parked in the spot farthest away from the building, but he could still see the crowd inside the neighboring Starbucks. Most of them were men dressed in suits or women in slacks and ponytails. All in all, it was a typical Sunday morning.

He sat behind the wheel, silent, collecting his thoughts. For now he felt content, as driven by his rendezvous with Kristina. She’d seemed genuine enough, but it was her boyfriend he didn’t like. He frowned to himself. Sure, he was probably being judgmental, since he’d never spoken to the guy, but there was just something about him.

A vibration in his pocket caused him to jump so badly his head hit the roof. Aiden dug quickly in his pocket, assuming it was Kristina.

“Hey,” he answered, for some reason feeling breathless.

“Aiden?” It was Mauryssa. He almost kicked himself as he remembered two things at the same time: Kristina didn’t have his number, since he hadn’t given it to her; Mauryssa had been expecting him yesterday.

“Oh, hi,” he said dully, not even bothering to try and keep the oh it’s you tone out of his voice. “Look, I’m sorry I didn’t go Saturday.”

“Yeah, I can’t believe you didn’t show up!” she squealed. “Well, do you think you could hang out today? Chase and Aimee are going to be here, too.”

“Sorry, I’m going to be busy today.” Busy chasing a dead girl and her secrets…and maybe the ex-girlfriend of a guy who committed suicide.

“Oh.” There was a silence in which Aiden tapped his fingers on the steering wheel and watched a family of three roll a shopping cart into Safeway.

“Say hi to Chase for me,” Aiden said, and hung up. He knew he was being something of an asshole, but he didn’t care. He was already too busy dialing another number.

“Hello?” Kristina’s voice sang through the line. She sounded groggy.

“Rise and shine! Let’s go, you promised we’d hang out today,” Aiden said, reveling in the way he felt when he knew she was present. He hadn’t felt this at ease since he was in elementary school.

“For God’s sake, Aiden, it’s –” a pause as she evidently checked the time, “seven thirty in the morning. Call back in three hours.” And she actually hung up on him.

Something compelled him to call back, told him this was only a game and he should play along.

“C’mon,” Aiden whined before she said hello. “You promised.”

“Seven thirty is still nighttime. Therefore, I’m going back to sleep.”

“The sun’s up, isn’t it? Look, I’ll come by and pick you up. We’ll get breakfast or something. Then we can read Taylor’s letters.” He was all too aware of all the unsaid implications, but plowed on recklessly. “Come on, Kris.”

He could only hear breathing on the line. Then she murmured, “That’s what Caedyn used to call me.”

Something assured him it was all right, that he should stay quiet.

“No one calls me that anymore,” she continued, in that same soft voice. “I won’t even let him call me that.” Aiden knew who she was referring to.

“Is it okay if I call you that?” he blurt out.

He could almost hear her smiling. “You can, if I can call you assface.”

With his brand-new GPS he hadn’t yet used since he’d gotten his car, Aiden found Kristina’s house easily using the address she’d given him. Her house was quite small – beige, one-story, a small garden in the front.

He idled at the curb like they’d agreed on, and she emerged from the front door. He had to force himself to act indifferent to her blonde hair, now slightly wavy, plain black shirt, and dark indigo jeans.

Kristina slid into the passenger seat and shut the door with a snap, sealing Aiden inside with all his emotions and the physical object of at least half of them. It was all he could do to keep his hands on the wheel and his eyes on the road.

“You’re awfully quiet in person,” Kristina mused, folding her legs up on the seat and hugging her knees to her chest.

“That’s because I’m trying really hard not to touch you right now,” he said, immediately surprised at how comfortable he must’ve felt around her to let that slip out.

But she only laughed. She looked younger when she smiled. “Oh, really?” She put a finger to his shoulder. “Like this?”

“Hardly.”

“How about now?” She ran the finger up and down his bare arm. Instantly he felt her touch all over his body and quickly pulled over to the side of the road while his head spun pleasantly.

“Yeah, that’s doing something.”

Kristina settled back, no longer touching him. She looked rather amused. “Shut up and drive. I’m hungry.”

“What am I? Your chauffeur?” he retorted, but blended back into traffic.

“Hey, I was promised breakfast on this gig.”

“What do you feel like eating?”

“You,” she said casually, sending another white-hot jolt through his body. “My boyfriend. But since I can’t have either at this moment, I’ll take pancakes. Syrup and butter. Eggs on the side.”

“Sounds like Denny’s to me,” Aiden said, biting back his response to the first part of what she said. He frowned. “Why don’t you have an entire army of friends with you?” She reminded him strongly of the confident, beautiful ‘popular’ girls at his school.

“Excuse me? I have friends, just not always around.” She glanced sidelong at him, which he took as her understanding of what he was really asking. “I prefer to be with people who are real with me. That crowd doesn’t quite make it to that standard.”

And I do? “Your boyfriend?”

“He’s different,” Kristina said quickly, looking away.

“Your friends I saw at the beach?”

“They’re alright. Good company. What is this, twenty questions? Let me ask one.”

“Wait, one more…what about me?”

Kristina’s mouth turned up in the faintest of a smirk. “What about you?”

“I’m real?”

“As real as it gets. You bared your soul to me, fellow.”

Aiden laughed at her choice of words. “Onward, brave heart!”

“Shut the hell up and get me to Denny’s.”

“Aren’t you a feisty one.”

“I bet you want to kill me right now. That’s what Caedyn always said.” Her eyes glassed over reminiscently.

“Nah…more like kiss you.” She didn’t answer and Aiden carefully parked in the Denny’s lot. Had he crossed the line?

“Then do it,” she said suddenly, turning to face him. Her face was oddly detached, yet Aiden couldn’t tear his eyes away. He opened his mouth to mention her significant other, but thought better of it. He leaned in and touched his lips to hers.

They were soft, warm. Her breath whispered between his slightly parted lips, light as butterfly wings. He leaned a little closer, slipped his tongue to rest on her bottom lip. It was like bathing in sunlight, drinking honey. She tasted of halos.

When Kristina pulled away, much too soon, they stared at each other. Aiden was breathless; never had he kissed someone so softly, yet that did more to him than any kiss he ever had.

“Crap,” he breathed. Kristina smiled, her head tilted slightly left and looking somewhat puzzled.

“C’mon,” she said, pushing the car door open. A gusty breeze flew in, chilling away the warmth. “I’m still hungry.”

“For more?” Aiden couldn’t help but tease, but he was only half kidding.

Kristina rolled her eyes. He wanted to hold her hand on the way in, but he had to remind himself that she had a boyfriend.

If she had a boyfriend, the voice in his head whispered suddenly, then why did she kiss you?

Aiden had no answer; all he knew was that he didn’t mind it at all.