Frightened Blue Eyes

I smiled down at my phone as it buzzed softly in my palm. I felt such a rush whenever Nicky texted me. There was something about it that made me feel safe and wanted. It was strange really but no one had ever made me feel like that before, except Max. As I pressed send I sighed and fell back onto my pillows. I hadn’t felt this light and care free for so long. As I lay staring at the ceiling I heard Max stomping up the stairs. He sounded confused. I laughed softly whenever Max was confused he stomped, it was very easy to read Max, he was a simple person.

“Toby?” He stood by my door and shifted uncomfortably, “Um, I don’t know how to say this but, umm, I got a call from Dad this morning, he umm, said that he was coming to stay for a few days.” The end of his sentence came out in a rush as he bit his lip and looked at me with worried eyes. I swallowed and tried to process the new information. My very homophobic father was coming to stay, just when I finally thought my life was getting better. “Toby are you okay?” I frowned and let out an angry howl and launched my pillow at him.

“No! How the fuck do you think I feel, is it likely that I need another reminder that I was solely responsible for breaking up out parents’ once happy marriage? I don’t need him making me feel worse than I already do!” Tears began to fall freely down my cheeks. Max just stared at me, he knew how much I didn’t get on with Dad. I sighed quietly and looked over to where Max was still stood. “Don’t worry Max, I’ll be fine, really, I know how much you miss him.”

“Really Toby, I promise if it makes you feel uncomfortable I won’t see him, I’ll have nothing to do with him. You’re more important than him.” Max walked over to me and wrapped me up in his arms as I cried silently. I blinked up at him, my mind had frozen. Part of me, a very large part of me wanted to asked him never to speak to that homophobe again but then again, I could never do that to Max.

“No, you don’t need to do that.” I said softly as I leant against him. “I can put up with him for a few days, if it makes you happy, you are my brother after all.” Max smiled sadly at me and gently squeezed my shoulders.

“He’ll be calling mum later tonight to arrange everything.” He stood and walked out of me room, smiling at me before he closed the door. For a while I just sat there, I needed to talk to Nicky. Within moments his soft voice was on the other end of the phone, calming me down, soothing me.

“Everything will be fine, Toby. If you ever need to get away you can come and stay at mine. We can watch rubbish films and eat too much and go to sleep on the sofa.” I laughed softly as Nicky swept my concerns away.