Losing Touch

I only had eight days left with the boys and we were almost back home. And by home I mean Tempe, AZ. I was excited to see my parents and in-laws. Despite what you hear as jokes, not all in-laws are horrible.

“You ready babe?” John asked as he squeezed my hand. I nodded my head excitedly. “Good, because we have about four minutes until we make it to your house.”

“Really!?” I shouted.

John chuckled. “Yes babe, really.” I just sat thinking of how surprised my parents would be when they saw me. They hadn’t seen me since the day I left John. Although they did get regular calls and annual letters, they hadn’t physically seen me in months. And I desperately need my mom’s hugs and my dad’s wise words. I watched as the houses flew by as John made the necessary turns to get to my parent’s house. Soon, he slowed down and parked on next to the curb and once I knew he put the car in park, I flew out of the car and sped walked straight to the door.

I knocked excitedly and my mom opened the door. Once she recognized who it was, she teared up and gave me a big hug.

“I missed you mom.” I said while still wrapped in her arms. By now, I could feel John behind me. My mom let go and gave John a hug too.

“Hello son.” She said and wiped at her eyes. John waved and all three of us walked in.

“Who is it Georgia?” I heard my father ask. He got up and immediately saw me. He smiled and walked over to me and hugged me and kissed my forehead. “Zoe, what are you doing here?”

“Well, I’ve been on break from chemo and I went to LA with john and the guys while they recorded but I have to go back in eight days. But I thought that I could come visit you two plus John and Cindy.”

“Well that’s great.” My mom said. “Do you want anything, honey?”

“Nahh, I’m fine. What about you John?” I asked and he politely declined also. For about two hours, I caught up with my parents before we left to go see John’s parents.

“Ready, babe?” John asked as we buckled our seatbelts.

“I am sure am. It was just so amazing to see my parents again.” I said smiling.

“I know you missed ‘em Zo.” He said and quickly kissed my left hand. He turned his car on, and then put it into gear and then pulled out onto the street. We didn’t do any talking on the way to his house - we just let This Providence flow through the stereo John had in his car.

“My heart beats to the rhythm of your heart, baby, my heart beats tot he rhythm of your heart, I will love you just the way you are, don't, don't you change yourself, I will love you just the way you are, don't, don't want no one else” I heard Dan Young sing. And I couldn’t help but to feel the ache in my heart thinking that John might not feel that way about me. No matter how much I knew we loved each other - a piece of me couldn’t help but doubt everything.

“You okay?” I heard John’s voice ask once I noticed that the car was stopped and parked in the garage.

I took a deep breath. “Yeah, I’m fine.” I said and smiled. I got out of the car and made my way to the door that separated the house from the garage and walked in.

“Hello!?” John called from behind me.

“John!” I heard Ross call as he jogged toward us. But he stopped once he saw me. “Oh shit! ZOE!!” he yelled and ran up to me and picked me up and twirled me around in a hug.

“Nice to see you too Ross.” I said and laughed as soon as I was set down.

“Wait, why’d you say… Zoe!” John’s other brother, Shane, said.

“Hey Bud!” I said and embraced him in a hug.

“I missed you!” he said.

“I know, I missed you too.” I said and smiled at him.

“Zoe?” I heard John (the fourth, not fifth) say in surprise and I looked up.

“Hey John.” I said and I walked over and hugged him.

“Well, it sure is nice to see you again.” He said as he kept his arm around my shoulder. “Cindy!” he called.

“What is it? Oh! Zoe dear!” she said and engulfed me into a - what seemed like the millionth - hug. “We missed you dear! Why’d you move out to California?”

“Well… um…” I said not knowing how to handle the present situation. I looked up to John for help.

“Well, Zoe has skin cancer…” John spoke for me.

“Oh dear, I’m so sorry.” Cindy said and pulled me into another hug.

“It’s not your fault.” I said and shrugged. So the rest of the afternoon was spent catching up with my in-laws and around five o’clock we left to go to John’s apartment.

We walked in and John sat down on the couch, and I snuggled into him. I looked up and kissed him, and he hungrily kissed back. Soon enough, we were heavily making out on the couch and we were both loving every moment of it. We hadn’t had this much contact in what seemed like ever - and I was going to take advantage of it while I was still somewhat strong.

“Bed?” John asked and I nodded in response. We ran back into his room (that also used to be mine), and soon enough the clothes were off and John was pulling out a condom.

“I love you Zoe.”

“I love you too John.”