Losing Touch

“Two weeks. I can’t believe it, but there are only two more weeks until I go back to chemo. Can you believe it babe?”

“No, and let’s not talk about it. Let’s just enjoy what’s happening now, ‘kay?” he said with a smile as he slipped on his worn out white Vans. I nodded my head as I grabbed my purse and we headed out of the apartment in LA so we could up with the guys back at the studio. I smiled and intertwined John’s hand with mine as we walked out into the smoggy LA air.

John smiled down at me, which caused my heart to flutter and stomach to flip - even after all of these years with him. I had never been in another relationship other than the one I have with John. Unless you count elementary school relationships, which are actually nothing once you look back on it.

I smiled as I thought of the day John finally admitted he liked me and then proceeded to ask me out later in the night.

”John Cornelius O’Callaghan the fifth, you are in denial! And you can’t deny it now! I have you fucking cornered!” I shouted at my brother, Kennedy’s, and my good friend. But besides that, I had a huge crush on him, and I knew for a fact that he liked me too. He just wouldn’t fess up.

“No I am not Zoe Marie Brock!” he spat as he threw down his bag for baseball. My parents had just picked him up from practice because he was to stay the night. And now my parents were going to pick up food and my two older brothers were upstairs doing only god knows what.

“Don’t you lie to me! I can tell when you lie! I’ve known you for so many years and I’ve been your friend the whole time! I may not be the smartest person on the planet, but I do make observations just like the rest of the planet.” I scowled and crossed my arms across my T-shirt that I had recently bought from American Eagle.

He just gawked at me as he attempted to process what I had just uttered. “I, I, I, well… I do NOT like you Z!”

“You fucking liar!” I screamed in rage. I huffed and ran back to my room. As much as I hated John right now, I couldn’t help but laugh at what just happened a mere four yards away from my doorway. But since John was playing dumb, I was going to make him admit that he liked me - one way or another.

So I took a deep breath as I looked around my walls and found the many various pictures of me and my family members, me and John, and me and my other friends from school. I turned back to the door and walked out and sat down on the couch next to John, who was now in between me and Kennedy. While they were both focused mindlessly on the television, I snuck my hand onto John’s mid-thigh. I heard him inhale a sharp breath, and I knew I had accomplished what I wanted.

I was going to make him pay like hell for lying about his feelings. Well, at least until he admitted them. And I was determined to get the words “I like you” out of his mouth.

So, I squeezed his thigh and he eyes bulged and he turned to me - while Kennedy was still preoccupied. He gave me a look that said ‘stop, please’. He was practically begging me.

“Let’s talk then.” I mouthed and walked out of the room and back into my room. I heard John mutter some excuse to Kennedy as to why he was leaving the room and he made his way to doorframe. He leaned against it and he sighed, knowing he was going to lose this battle.

“Admit it and I’ll be done for the day.” I said smugly with the confidence oozing from my pores.

“Zoe - Kennedy just might rip my head off, but at this point I guess I have no choice but to take my damn chances with this. I like you Zoe, okay? You know me too well almost. But it’s the same for me, I guess. I know you’re heart is racing right now and you’re surprised that I’m admitting this much. But I have to admit I have liked you since I was in eighth grade. I was just always afraid of what Ken would say. But I’m gonna risk it now, ‘cause you are so fucking worth it, Zoe.”

He was right. I was completely taken by surprise that he was admitting so much. We both had this weird sixth sense to know how each other feel.

---

It was later the same night and everyone but me was asleep. My mind was still racing from what John had admitted only hours earlier. Did he really mean it? I wasn’t sure, I was convinced that this was all some horrible prank that he and my brother had decided to play on me or something cruel. It just couldn’t be real. It was too amazing to be true.

I sighed as I heard my door slightly creak. I gasped and found John standing in front of my door. I smiled and he smiled back. My heart skipped a beat or two as he walked forward and sat down at the edge of my bed. I looked down because I was nervous, yet so ecstatic at the same time.

“I know your doubting what I said earlier. But that was the honest truth Zoe, I swear.”

All I could do was nod. I knew that my voice would fail me if I attempted to speak what my mind was thinking. My palms got a bit sweaty as John moved closer to me. He inched painfully slow to where I was sitting up against my headboard. Not soon enough, he was sitting in front of me and his face crept close to mine.

Not too long after, my lips were captured into my first kiss. Not just my first kiss with John, but first kiss ever. Seventeen seconds later and we both slowly pulled away and I looked into his beautiful eyes.

“Zoe Marie Brock, will you be my girlfriend?” We hadn’t even been on a date and he already wants to be official!? He really must be serious.

I leaned my forehead against his. “Yes.” I whispered.

I looked over at John, who was staring back at me. I leaned over the middle console and kissed him lightly.

“Time to record Mr. Ohhh?”

“Why of course Mrs. Ohhh.” He said as we got out and linked arms as we smiled and walked our ways into the studio where the other eight in the group were already getting ready. I smiled as I looked around the room to see where everything had been happening over the past month.

“Can you believe we only need one more song?” I heard Garrett ask.

“I know, it’s so weird.” Jared said.

“You guys really only need one song?” Roxanne asked as I sat on the black couch.

“Yeah, and John was sort of working on something last night.” I said as I smiled at John.

“Oh did you now John Ohhh?” Sarah questioned.

“You betcha!” he said causing all of the significant others to the band members laugh. We were all grouped together on the couch as the guys got all of their equipment together and sat down to work out the final song on the new album.

All five of us just sat back and watched as our men did their thing and pieced together a new song for kids to buy or download and listen to as they fawned over the band that I called my family.

I smiled, but then I reminded myself mentally: Two weeks until you have chemo, and soon after John will have to leave again. There goes that bad gut feeling once again.