Status: active
We Made Our Way Dreaming
When You're Gone
I sighed and stood up off the ground, sitting on my bed. Joe sat down next to me. Though he had said he wanted to talk, we sat quietly. I knew that we both had so much to say, but it wasn’t coming out. Being here, being home, it brought back too many memories for me, memories I had tried so hard to forget. But when it was staring me in the face, I couldn’t exactly ignore it anymore. “What did you want to talk about, Joe?”
He took a deep breath and kept his gaze on the ground. He was wearing his glasses again. I knew it had to be because he had done up his faux hawk today, just as it always had been. God, I loved him in those glasses. I had always thought he looked cutest as he did now, with a white t-shirt, jeans, his hair done, and his glasses. I wondered if he dressed like that because he knew it was my favorite look on him.
After another few moments, he finally spoke. “These past years, you didn’t come back, you didn’t write me or call me or even text me,” his voice was low. “All this time and you never even filed for a divorce.”
It wasn’t a question so I asked one. “Why didn’t you?”
He smiled my favorite smile, where he looked all innocent and sweet. “I guess I’ve always known you’d have to come back for it, and if that was the only way to get you back here, I couldn’t just mail it to you. And I think I’ve always half expected to wake up and realize that these past few years have been a really bad dream, that you didn’t leave, and we didn’t end – like we did.”
I sighed. “Well, let me know if you wake up, okay?”
He looked at me for a moment. “Why didn’t you?”
“Why didn’t I what?” I pretended to not understand. I needed a moment to think without seeming hesitant.
He smiled, and I knew I hadn’t fooled him. But he asked again anyway. “Why didn’t you apply for a divorce?”
I sighed and looked at the ground for a second. “I don’t know. I could have. I thought about it so many times. A few times, I actually went to an attorney’s office. But I could never make myself walk through that door. I just – couldn’t.”
He took my chin gently and made me look at him. His brown eyes peered deep into mine, as if he were looking for something. “You couldn’t because you know we’re meant to be,” he said quietly. “It’s always going to be us, Mel, always.” Before I could respond, he leaned down and connected our lips.
I could have pushed him off and maybe I should have, but I didn’t. Instead I leaned into him, into the kiss. His lips were moving in sync with mine as I reached up and wrapped my hands around his head, my finger entangling in his hair. He moved his own hands around me and gently pushed me back onto my bed, our lips never parting. When his lips went to my jaw to my neck, and his hands gently trailed to the bottom of my shirt, I knew this was my last chance to back out. It was now or never. I could have opened my mouth. I could have pushed him off. I could have grabbed his hand as it tugged at my shirt. Instead, I rose a bit to help him lift it off of me and then moved to the bottom of his. He pulled back, his eyes peering into mine again as I pulled his own shirt off. He waited a second, his eyes searching mine. I knew he was waiting for clearance. So I leaned over and pressed my lips to his chest. When I leaned back to look at him, I knew my face must have looked nervous because he smiled at me and leaned down to gently kiss me before his hands were at my waist.
---
“Nickie,” I called out loud, wondering where he was. He had been sulking for days now, and Joe and I were running out of jokes about Kevin. I walked up to his room, and knocked.
“Come in.”
I opened the door and walked in. He was sitting on his music table, playing around with beats. “Hey, that sounds good,” I commented, sitting in the chair next to him.
“Thanks,” he smiled. “But I should give you some credit. It’s for that song you wrote.”
“Joe showed you,” I covered my face.
His skin was soft and his touch gentle as he took my hands off my face. “Don’t be embarrassed. I thought be it was really good.”
“Thanks,” I said, still blushing. I sang a lot and wrote music when I had time, and since Joe had been on tour so often, I was either with him or at home, but I always had some spare time. “God, I’m going to kill your brother.”
“You’d be without a husband,” Nick reminded me.
“So, I’ll get the insurance. This is sounding better and better. Want in? 75, 25,” I said conspiratorially.
He just laughed, then handed me a piece of paper. “Here, let’s see if it goes right. Sing.”
“I-I can’t,” I tried to hand him the paper back to him but he had picked up his guitar. “I’ve only ever sung for Joe.”
“Aren’t you the one that said you wanted to be a famous singer?” he asked, smirking as he pulled the guitar strap around his shoulder and put the instrument on his lap. He started strumming. “Sing!”
I sighed and looked down at the paper before I started singing.
“I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side
When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through
The day and make it ok
I miss you
I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do
When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
And when you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
And when you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through
The day and make it ok
I miss you
We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were, yeah
And all I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
And when you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
And when you're gone
All the words I need to hear will always get me through
The day and make it ok
I miss you.”
I felt so empowered, so strong, so right. I knew this was what I was meant to do, sing for people, for someone. I grinned at Nick, but he was giving me an odd look.
Then he leaned forward, and our lips connected. I started to pull away but his hand was on my head, keeping me pressed to him.
We jumped apart though when the door opened.
I woke with a jolt, sitting up in my bed. Joe had been sleeping next to me, but he too sat up when I did, his face full of concern as he looked at me. I tried to take deep breaths, trying to remind myself that it was just a dream. But it wasn’t a dream, it was a memory.
He took a deep breath and kept his gaze on the ground. He was wearing his glasses again. I knew it had to be because he had done up his faux hawk today, just as it always had been. God, I loved him in those glasses. I had always thought he looked cutest as he did now, with a white t-shirt, jeans, his hair done, and his glasses. I wondered if he dressed like that because he knew it was my favorite look on him.
After another few moments, he finally spoke. “These past years, you didn’t come back, you didn’t write me or call me or even text me,” his voice was low. “All this time and you never even filed for a divorce.”
It wasn’t a question so I asked one. “Why didn’t you?”
He smiled my favorite smile, where he looked all innocent and sweet. “I guess I’ve always known you’d have to come back for it, and if that was the only way to get you back here, I couldn’t just mail it to you. And I think I’ve always half expected to wake up and realize that these past few years have been a really bad dream, that you didn’t leave, and we didn’t end – like we did.”
I sighed. “Well, let me know if you wake up, okay?”
He looked at me for a moment. “Why didn’t you?”
“Why didn’t I what?” I pretended to not understand. I needed a moment to think without seeming hesitant.
He smiled, and I knew I hadn’t fooled him. But he asked again anyway. “Why didn’t you apply for a divorce?”
I sighed and looked at the ground for a second. “I don’t know. I could have. I thought about it so many times. A few times, I actually went to an attorney’s office. But I could never make myself walk through that door. I just – couldn’t.”
He took my chin gently and made me look at him. His brown eyes peered deep into mine, as if he were looking for something. “You couldn’t because you know we’re meant to be,” he said quietly. “It’s always going to be us, Mel, always.” Before I could respond, he leaned down and connected our lips.
I could have pushed him off and maybe I should have, but I didn’t. Instead I leaned into him, into the kiss. His lips were moving in sync with mine as I reached up and wrapped my hands around his head, my finger entangling in his hair. He moved his own hands around me and gently pushed me back onto my bed, our lips never parting. When his lips went to my jaw to my neck, and his hands gently trailed to the bottom of my shirt, I knew this was my last chance to back out. It was now or never. I could have opened my mouth. I could have pushed him off. I could have grabbed his hand as it tugged at my shirt. Instead, I rose a bit to help him lift it off of me and then moved to the bottom of his. He pulled back, his eyes peering into mine again as I pulled his own shirt off. He waited a second, his eyes searching mine. I knew he was waiting for clearance. So I leaned over and pressed my lips to his chest. When I leaned back to look at him, I knew my face must have looked nervous because he smiled at me and leaned down to gently kiss me before his hands were at my waist.
---
“Nickie,” I called out loud, wondering where he was. He had been sulking for days now, and Joe and I were running out of jokes about Kevin. I walked up to his room, and knocked.
“Come in.”
I opened the door and walked in. He was sitting on his music table, playing around with beats. “Hey, that sounds good,” I commented, sitting in the chair next to him.
“Thanks,” he smiled. “But I should give you some credit. It’s for that song you wrote.”
“Joe showed you,” I covered my face.
His skin was soft and his touch gentle as he took my hands off my face. “Don’t be embarrassed. I thought be it was really good.”
“Thanks,” I said, still blushing. I sang a lot and wrote music when I had time, and since Joe had been on tour so often, I was either with him or at home, but I always had some spare time. “God, I’m going to kill your brother.”
“You’d be without a husband,” Nick reminded me.
“So, I’ll get the insurance. This is sounding better and better. Want in? 75, 25,” I said conspiratorially.
He just laughed, then handed me a piece of paper. “Here, let’s see if it goes right. Sing.”
“I-I can’t,” I tried to hand him the paper back to him but he had picked up his guitar. “I’ve only ever sung for Joe.”
“Aren’t you the one that said you wanted to be a famous singer?” he asked, smirking as he pulled the guitar strap around his shoulder and put the instrument on his lap. He started strumming. “Sing!”
I sighed and looked down at the paper before I started singing.
“I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side
When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through
The day and make it ok
I miss you
I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do
When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
And when you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
And when you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through
The day and make it ok
I miss you
We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were, yeah
And all I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
And when you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
And when you're gone
All the words I need to hear will always get me through
The day and make it ok
I miss you.”
I felt so empowered, so strong, so right. I knew this was what I was meant to do, sing for people, for someone. I grinned at Nick, but he was giving me an odd look.
Then he leaned forward, and our lips connected. I started to pull away but his hand was on my head, keeping me pressed to him.
We jumped apart though when the door opened.
I woke with a jolt, sitting up in my bed. Joe had been sleeping next to me, but he too sat up when I did, his face full of concern as he looked at me. I tried to take deep breaths, trying to remind myself that it was just a dream. But it wasn’t a dream, it was a memory.
♠ ♠ ♠
Hahaha now you know what happened :] What did you guys think of the chapter? I actually kind of liked this one. Please let me know kk? thanks! Love ya!